I HOPE MY SOUL HAS A PERSONALTY

I Hope My Soul Has A Personality

https://youtu.be/0ECoyo4dBm8 120 million reasons to write this

I do not know my 4,000 LinkedIn associate Members like i know my good friends & Family. Yet I have blind faith that i could trust everyone like you were my friends & family.

I need to share some real honest shit, what I mean is my most honest & intimate feelings.

I am presently living day to day, feeling like i keep escaping my executioner & I wonder how.

I feel that the anger that is inside me is keeping me alive. I was diagnosed with Intermitted Explosive Disorder 4 years ago. I became afflicted with End Stage Kidney Disease & was so angry that i wanted to find a way to stop living in a way that would help others.

Since I received my liver transplant in 1995, all I have done is try to make this world better for humanity. In 1995-1996 I tried to help the Substance Abuse World, specifically Narcotics Anonymous, & supposedly I caused I Civil War, because I was accused of breaking NA traditions regarding Filming ( which was bullshit) AA has been shooting TV commercials.

When I created my charity Step By Step, I was going to address the Global Organ Shortage. I had so much confidence that I could. I know that was coming from God. After I had my Vision at Greensides Farm in Marmora, & I seen all this.

In 1998-1999 As I prepared my Ontario Walk, I noticed the leeches & assholes coming out to fuck us up. I was in full gear practicing my spiritual principals trying to work with everyone together. I brought many people from "DA ROOMS" & some of these other people were gossiping about them & making plans on how to stop me before I even began my Ontario Walk. In June when I did start, I lost 75% of the people that jumped on in the beginning. I didn't have enough funds to complete 5 days, never-mind 100 days. I had to get my road manager out of an active Rehab Center. Joe was just beginning his treatment. Despite all this shit & challenges, I was still so very confidant THAT I WOULD SUCCEED IN GETTING SOMETHING BIG DONE. I kept inviting Conservative MPP who were the Government under Premier Harris. My plan was to convince them that Ontario needed to invest 100 million to dramatically improve donations in organ transplantation & Ontario would lead the world, I had to prove 4 things..1.. I proved organ transplantation is a cure by walking a Marathon a day after receiving a liver transplant. 2...organ donations will save lots of healthcare dollars & boost the economy, 3...Ontario can lead the world in organ donations, & the issue will raise private & corporate funds..4..We will save so many more lives that would have died. At every city & town I talked to MPP's or I wrote them a letter. I also including a shopping list of policy changes that were needed to succeed the 4 things. I had a great plan to reach the Premier himself. Perhaps some MPP's were already grabbing his ear, and my Angel,,MPP Minister Al Paladini who looked at me with so much proudness & called me the Italian Terry Fox, with his giant smile. North Bay where the Premier was from was our main place to set our big plan in action. We created a National Campaign helping a young girl who need a transplant from North Bay. We recruited Premier Harris' favourite niece to deliver a personal letter to him during a special family occasion. It was midway into our campaign & let me tell you it was tough. Joe & I had to beg for everything, food, accommodations, even phone minutes. Tension was usually high because we had no money. Everyone abandoned us & left us to die on the road. That is what I was intending on doing dying if I had to do. Joe, although a little difficult at the beginning became a champion ROAD MANAGER. He saved me & picked me up a few times from the highways in Ontario, or I would have been dead. He seen what I was seeking & understood after why I had to do this no matter what.

We finished on September 30 1999, & Opposition Leader Dalton McGuinty asked if he could host our press conference. Of course I said yes & thank you. I shared what I was sharing in all 50 press conferences & letters to MPP, my plan to make Ontario a world leader. Next week Premier's Executive Assistant Peter Hickey phoned me & told me the big news. He told me the Premier was watching me all the way through my campaign & agrees with you & is responding by investing 120 million. He will make this the highlight of his Throne Speech on October 23, 1999. He is inviting you as a special, special guest beside Don Cherry. We need your permission to talk about you in the Throne Speech & WE NEED YOUR WORD YOU WILL NOT MENTION THIS TO ANYONE. Besides Joe, & all those people that helped us through the campaign, I had one person to thank; GOD. Thank you for putting me in this mission.

After meeting Premier Harris at the Throne Speech, he invited me to his private chambers with his close friends. He explained upstairs that he agreed with what I did & everyone in the Government considers me a real Canadian Hero. We know how much it took to get this done. We know you will now do the same thing again, except this time 10 times longer going across Canada. You can count on the Government of Ontario to help you, & we will need & hope to get your help with the new agency in Ontario. You can practically choose which position would be best for you. After all without you, this agency would not exist. We plan to double the rate by 2005. I told the Premier, absolutely I will help, but I think we can do better than double, I truly believe we can lead the world. Everyone seemed to have a polite laugh after that. For the next 3 months until January 7, 2000, we did about 6 press conferences. In the last one he joined us at North Bay, where it all happened. He once again gave his assurances about helping me with my Canada Walk & assigning me in the Agency, after all it was my baby.

In the 1st week of February 2000, a big announcement was made in the news. The Health Minister announced all the people who would manage the new ORGAN AGENCY. My name was not mentioned, nor any of the businessmen on my team. I could no longer contact the Premier. I was off limits. Before this i had his personal line. It's like I just committed serious crimes or something like that. I was wondering what he would do if he found out that I had a troubled background. Most people were saying that many people work in important jobs with troubles pasts especially if they recovered the way I did. I would think that at least I would get an explanation. After all it was my baby. I gave it birth & nursed it & risked my life to bring it to safety. So much sacrifice went into this. It became impossible to reach any of them. I was once again abandoned. I had most of my Canada Walk prepared based on all the promises I was hearing after the Throne Speech in October 1999. And now that campaign was in serious jeopardy. I believe someone or a group of people approached the Premier & not only talked about my past, I believe they brought in some heavy hitters & convinced him to completely cut all ties with me. 120 Million dollars were on the line. People get pretty serious & greedy & treacherous when that kind of money & power is up for grabs. I think I became a really easy political target, & once they were in charge, they knew they would continue pursuing me. All corporations & potential sponsors would go through them when asking about supporting organ donations. Before I even began my Canada Walk everything was doomed to fail.

In May 2000 the new AGENCY had it first meeting. They were going to talk about their 5 year mandate & how they would reach their goal of doubling the rate. Stakeholders were invited. Many big company heads. My friend & big businessman John Totten was invited & he brought me along. I can't remember the look at some of the AGENCY'S faces when they seen me there. The guest were allowed to ask questions as we went around the huge round table, John & I were near the end. I looked at their plans & mandate & got sick. When it came to me, I just got to the point. Why weren't any of my recommendations included. With what you have prepared here will actually kill people. I mean you have an opportunity to save people, instead you will kill them, unless you adapt my policies or use me to help you. They complete silence in room told me how they felt about my answer. It looked like maybe they did shove the knife far enough & for the next 20 years would do exactly that.

I began my Canada Walk on June 20 2000 with a new friend, THE FAMOUS TORCH OF LIFE. I was walking a marathon a day, almost every day for 769 days. I was holding 500 press conferences in 500 different communities. I would total over 12,000 kilometers. I only had 8 thousand as our complete budget, with no road manager, no vehicles. Every major big company were going to spnsor us with 6 figures donations, but all of them aborted at the last minute. Gee I wonder how that was happening. I would probably last until 15 days instead of 769 days. My friend R.I.P Bruce Smith, former Toronto Argonaut who became a Champlain phoned me every day, making sure i was walking with Jesus. I cannot go through all the enormous challenges I faced, (you have to read my book). Lets say that i was quitting everyday, so i quit almost 1000 times. The paradox was despite my quitting, in between quitting I was confidant I would meet ST POPE JOHN PAUL 2 & I would pass him the Torch. Somehow I would get an Angel from God as i walked along. In Saskatchewan, my great friend R.I.P. Fox Morin saved me by sending hundreds of his Aboriginals to help me through Saskatchewan & Alberta. David Wrightsmith another friend became my ROAD MANGER in British Columbia. While i walking to the BC border, someone from the Vatican called me, saying that ST POPE JP2 was following my walk & wanted to invite me to MEET HIM. I was so positive it was my friend Billy pulling a crank on me I started swearing at him. It was early, I was angry in the mornings, so you can't blame me. I probably broke the record in saying i am sorry. On September 1-10, 2001, i went to Italy. On SEPTEMBER 5, 2001 I met ST POPOE JP2 He blessed the Torch proclaimed ORGAN DONATION A GENUINE ACT OF LOVE & URGED ME TO PASS THE TORCH TO THE KIDS. There was 75,000 people & hundreds of media cameras. The next day every major religion leader was talking about their religion & organ donations. I also received hundreds of requests from big media outlets in the USA, INCLUDING JAY LENO.

I went VIRAL, Fuck those assholes those murders, I could improve the system, after my charity got rich with interviews & film & stuff. Again I was thanking so many people but most of all GOD. On my way back to Canada, I would begin about a month full of interviews before resuming my walk. It was September 11, 2001, when I arrived in Toronto to be on Breakfast Television. I was the last & biggest guest going on at 8:45 am. They treated me like a big celebrity, & but I always kept my feet on the ground. As I was about to go on, alarms started going off, & everything stopped. We were all told to go to the main lobby. On their big TV screen we all seen a plane going into one of the TWIN TOWERS. My interview was cancelled & so were my entire list of interviews. I was no longer VIRAL. Besides all the destruction they caused, those cocksuckers terroists ate up the next 6 months of news. What the fuck. Fuck, fuck fuck. I somehow dragged myself back on the road, & I finished the campaign as I promised. I lost both my parents during my walks. What kind of God did I have why are you so cruel to me, was a quote from Sister Teresa's book. I think I was starting to have something in common with her

Like Sister Teresa, I had my dark moments with God, in a sea of light. I heard from God again after I finished my walk inAugust 9, 2002. It was October 2002, & God told me to pass the Torch a 12 year old boy who almost died waiting for a liver transplant. I obeyed ST POPE JP2 when he told to pass the torch to the kids. I took Kris on a year long 200 city tour across Canada, in 2004. Then in 2005, after almost dying in Paris France trying to fing my European Tour to fix our poor system, with weeks left in my life, I escaped back to Toronto to get a 2nd liver transplant. I guess God wanted me to share my European Report. It was the most comprehensive memorandum I ever produced to fix our system entirely with many facts backing it back. Didn't waste time I gave my report 10 days after surgery. Then I continued my oath to ST POPE JP2 & recruited over 1000 students from different cities & towns in Canada & USA. From 2006-2010 They carried the Torch in their respective community as it was relayed from place to place. I was planning to extend it to the rest of the world, but drained all my mortgage money & had to abort in 2010.

I was about to shut down Step By Step in April 2011, then God said not yet. Through a Afghan Canadian student he sent me the Palestinian family whose 12 year old boy was killed by Israeli soldier, & they donated his organs to 6 Israeli kids. I brought dad & brother to Canada & another famous donor family reg green from USA, & FINALLY A 3RD FROM ISREAL. Marsha & daughter Yael lost their 19 year old boy from Palestinian Suicide Bomber & donated his kidney to Palestinian Girl. I had all 3 families together carrying the Torch together in many cities & towns. The world was following this

In 2014 I became very sick & bedridden. I wanted to find a way to die quicker. I could not accept that I should live if I could no longer serve my purpose. I went to see a hospital therapist & let her know what I was feeling. I started to write a book on my life and by going through my life, it bought me some time. But I kept getting angrier & angrier. I realized I could accept the fact that so many people died needlessly who could have been saved. That burned the fuck out me. I could not accept the fact that I was being treated like a was criminal/junkie or worse child molester. I was never fucking taken serious. I know for a fucking fact my plans would have made Ontario a leader in the world. My stuff was proven over & over again, not in my mind & fantasies out in the fucking news, out in the press conferences day in and day out. Not one fucking time was I ever called to help in an official way. And today, it still fucking continues. It's been 4 years, & not one fucking media out there has responded to my pleas & dare I say begging some times. I can't fucking believe this, this story itself has fifty different ways you can weave films from. WHAT THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO DO. Yes I am swearing a lot & I apologize, but that's just some of the frustrations & anger i feel. I am in the front frontlines watching people suffer & die almost every other day. Just in my Dialysis room alone, there is one person a week dying.They post the picture for respect. Since my picture keeps eluding, I try & think of a way where i could die & have it help others. As soon as that comes to me I will tell you. The really pitiful & sad thing my stuff could used like a cure, & no one is responding. Sad but true

https://youtu.be/0ECoyo4dBm8