I Here You
A note from me…It’s Mother’s Day 2021 and I’m working on a query letter for a new book I’ve been working on, and as so often happens, the new “thing” gets in the way of the “thing” I intended to do, which is write a brand-new story today. That said, I hope you enjoy this one from my first book, The Book of Szen.
From the Szenabling File:
The kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, your vocabulary and zip code, as well as other aspects of how and where you live and what you own and consume, all paint a psychographic portrait of who you are. This identification of your identity doesn’t require any special training or a conversation with you personally.
From the time we were young, and we observed that our friends or other people had something we wanted but didn’t have or couldn’t afford; we began the natural process of labeling. “The new kid down the street has a brand new Schwinn bike” became an easy way to categorize not just the kid, but the whole family. Labeling is when you attach a symbol – a product or brand or behavior or just about anything external – to a person’s identity. That person then becomes just like all of the other people that possess the same characteristics. It’s a very efficient way to ignore what may be the real person behind all of the accumulated “stuff.”
The interesting thing about this very human capability is that it serves us well in terms of making decisions about other people. A quick assessment of what someone possesses or not, provides easy to read clues about their possible financial situation. What someone wears or where they shop tells a great deal about someone’s sense of style and provides a bit of a glimpse into their ego. Of course, it works both ways and the decisions we all make in regard to our projected persona reflect what we think, or maybe want others to think of us. In branding parlance it’s called “packaging.”
When all is said and done, there are very few open books on display. We judge by the cover of everything and everyone, even though we’ve all heard the expression: “you can’t judge a book by its cover.” We do this because we can and it simplifies our lives. Making assumptions based on symbols and other clues is what allows today’s networked economy to flux so quickly, thus providing reward to some and disappointment to others. Assumptions, however, can appear to be facts and often we base our decisions on what we think we know. And given the speed with which this world is changing, we often don’t have the time to explore deeper or delve into the real truth. We move forward based on available information and observation. We make a judgment call and proceed, sometimes oblivious to the danger that lies ahead. We buy what we can’t afford, we invest with no return and we find marginal solace in the fact that others are doing, or better said, are victimized by the same thing.
Even with what can be real problems with labeling anything or anyone as just mentioned, the most insidious aspect of “pigeon-holing” is that it doesn’t accommodate or recognize that people and situations can actually change. “I here you” means I place you here in this spot with the huge implication that you will never move. Talk about a relationship killer. Once we assign a label, we all too often assume (there’s that word again) that it will stick. But you know what? When it comes to free-willed, living, breathing, Homo sapiens, it almost never sticks. The primary reason that the pigeon flies the coop is to land in a place where they can reframe their existence and identity. That’s why people leave jobs and relationships and even countries. They seek a place and environment where they are not judged, can evolve and thrive and not simply live up to some pre-assigned projection of what they “should” be.
Are you changing now? Is someone you know trying to change? Don’t you wish you could have a fresh start or new perspective? If so, don’t judge. Don’t ever judge, especially yourself. Keep open and the world opens up. The simple practice of non-judgment is the most reliable and empowering form of self-discovery you will ever learn; not judging creates freedom not just for you, but for all of those around you. By letting change happen and not force-fitting your thinking, you open up a world of possibilities and transform the “here” into a “what if.”
Today’s Szenippet: Accepting what is, not what you want it to be or think it should be, is your key to learning what it really could be.
I hope you’ll get a chance to check out my newest book and please write a review if you can. NOW & SZEN is widely distributed, and I’ve included the link to Amazon. Thanks for being here with me for so many years. I will continue to write new stories and share as often as I can.
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3 年Accepting what is. I love that! Thank you Gary Szenderski ??