... but I have to go...

You must feel the pain in these sentences from an email I got the other day.

It sounds like a breakup, divorce, or separation in a romantic relationship. There’s a mix of sadness and bitterness but also acceptance that it is time to move on.

Unrecognised Exits

I am increasingly hearing stories of unrecognized exits from companies, especially from clients who have been made redundant.

I don’t expect there to be a huge party and a gold watch. Those days are long gone…

But at least some acknowledgement, an official announcement by email, a thank you from the boss, a team morning tea.

But for many, it was a big fat nothing.

They did the logistics—they handed over the laptop to IT, signed the papers at HR, collected their personal items, and then walked out the door.

Excuses

Some of the excuses I’ve heard for companies not doing farewells are:

1.???? We can’t spend money on a farewell if we are making people redundant – looks bad ??

2.???? If we have a party for one person we’ll have to have it for all ??

3.???? It will upset the people who are staying (but what about the people leaving? Is their upset no longer a concern?) ??

4.???? The unspoken fear - someone creating a dramatic exit ??

Ignoring doesn’t make it go away

Ignoring it, in fact, makes it worse. The survivors see the lack of respect for their former colleagues and become (more) disengaged as this study shows.

Closed without closing

A good farewell fulfils critical psychological needs of separation, acceptance and moving forward by:

1. Looking back – acknowledge the time with the company, celebrate achievements, drawing strength from challenges faced
2. Looking forward creates a watershed moment when people part from colleagues, routines, and projects, helping them say goodbye and move on.

Truly, madly, badly and gladly leaving

So if you’ve been “let go” and there’s no farewell, you can take matters into your own hands. Here are some ideas instead of a bittersweet email…

1. One coachee organised the meeting of a special interest group he chaired (catering budget approved) and used the end of the meeting to say farewell to colleagues and his professional network.
2. Another coaching client organised a morning coffee and croissants for her team and others. To her surprise, her colleagues presented her with a card, gift voucher and flowers.
3. A group of colleagues being laid off around the same time organised farewell drinks. Then decided it was such a good idea they now meet once a month at the same place.
4. I’ve seen positive posts on LinkedIn from people leaving, which has brought lots of good wishes from the person’s network

Boomerang

For my HR and people leader readers, consider how to treat people as they off-board. It is as important as on-boarding. Fairness and respect are two core principles ignored when exits are unrecognised. However, if principles aren’t going to motivate you (or your boss), then here’s a fact that might

In the USA 28% of employees return to their former employer in 36 months.

Your new employee could be your old employee.

If leaving makes you sad, mad, glad, or unsure of where to go next, give me a call.

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