I Have A Confession To Make

After working nearly fifteen years in the financial services industry, I’ve decided to no longer wear a suit. For me wearing a suit always symbolized character traits I wanted to exude, like professionalism, competence, and success.

In April of 2020, I recall scheduling a meeting with one of my clients via Zoom and pondering whether or not I should put on the usual business attire I’d grown accustomed to wearing since I entered the business when I was twenty-two years old. To even consider not wearing my Sunday best for a client meeting was a foreign concept. How could I expect a client or prospective client to take me seriously if I wasn’t willing to show up looking my best? Isn’t that a requirement and not an option? When I reflect on my introduction into this industry, I remember the first suit I wore. How could I ever forget it? You see, at that time, I couldn’t rub two nickels together.

I was young, motivated, and BROKE.

I remember walking into the salvation army in Norfolk, VA, scanning through the aisles, hoping I could find something I could wear. After searching for a few minutes, I found what I was looking for, a navy blue suit! I needed it for my interview I was having the following week and would have just enough time to get it tailored. Although the suit was big enough to fit a man twice my size, I was certain with the right alterations; the suit would fit me like a glove the day I needed it. Fortunate for me, I was right! When I walked in for my interview, I smiled confidently because I knew how much preparation went into that day. If the confidence ever waned, I taught myself to reach into my jacket pocket and hold on to the index cards I always kept with me.

Those cards served me well in the past, and I remained hopeful they wouldn’t let me down on such an important day.

I could never forget the gentleman that interviewed me that day. He carried himself like a man who had seen and done everything. His stoic persona was almost intimidating for a young man like me. I needed his approval that day, and he knew it. I was vulnerable, desperate, and searching for a chance. He asked many questions during the interview but never reacted to any of my responses.

Was he impressed by me, or was I bombing the interview?

As we transitioned to the end of the interview a slight sadness came over me. I wasn’t sure if I’d left the impression I hoped for. I will never forget the last question he asked me, “Why should I hire you?” At first, I didn’t know what to say. After a few moments, I couldn’t think of an answer, so the only thing I knew to do was to pull out the index cards in my pocket. As I pulled the index cards out of my pocket, I handed them to him and said, “This is why you should hire me.”

My hopes and dreams were on those cards. My affirmations. The scriptures I found that told me I was something were written on those cards.

As he read through the stack of cards, he asked me, “What is this?” I explained to him that after losing a close friend a short period of time ago and experiencing some life-changing personal events, I fell into a state of despair. In that state, I felt nothing but pain that would never end. I felt hopeless. And then, one day, I learned about self-talk. I learned about the power of manifestation. I learned that even though everything around me fell apart, I could choose my destiny. I explained from that moment on, I became obsessed with writing and speaking words of empowerment, love, joy, and success no matter the circumstance. As he read through the cards, he got up and walked out of the office. Where did he go? He probably thought I was crazy and went to go sound the alarm amongst his peers.

A few years ago, I sat down for lunch with that gentleman, and he told me when he left the office, he actually walked directly into his boss's office to show him the cards. In his words, when he showed his boss the cards and told him the story, his boss said, “If you don’t hire that guy, you’re fired.” Well, he wanted to keep his job, and he did, in fact, hire me. I would go on in his words to be the “Best Advisor he ever hired.” I wish I could say the success came immediately but it didn’t.

I was still young, motivated, and broke, BUT I had a job that I really wanted.

The learning curve was steep. I was always good at communicating, but early on, it was clear that I’d have to do the one thing I struggled most with in life, be vulnerable. When you enter the financial services business at twenty-two years old in a city seven hours from where you were raised with no resources, no natural market of prospects, no rich aunts or uncles, no friends with rich parents, and you have no salary; you’re in for the ride of your life. I happened to be very unlucky at the beginning of my tenure as I learned firsthand what a nor’easter was after seeing my car floating down the street.

Thank God I had those index cards! I would sure need them to muster up the courage to try and build a client base without any money and now no transportation.

The office I worked out of was based in downtown Norfolk, VA, so I decided to walk from the office and meet people while they were grabbing lunch. I learned a script that I recited religiously to any individual I was attempting to schedule a meeting with, which at that time was?anyone breathing. Every day I left my office around 10:00 am and didn’t return until I introduced myself to thirty new people. According to my math, if just ten percent of the people I met agreed to meet with me, I could figure out how to gain one new client per week. I did that for nearly eight months. In fact, many of those days, I did it wearing the navy blue suit I wore during my interview. Man, were some of those days tough!

I had no money, no foundation, and borrowed confidence, yet I was asking people two and three times my age to sit down and let me help them with their money. What was I thinking?!

Although I did everything in my power to obtain the necessary licenses and credentials to offer myself as a resource to those individuals, I always felt like an imposter. How could I offer something I didn’t possess? As time passed and my clientele began to increase through referrals, I started asking myself, “How did I get here?” I’ll never forget sitting in a meeting with a new client when I was in my late twenties that just agreed to give me their life savings.

While I sat at the table and he signed the paperwork, the only thought that ran through my mind was, “I’m not good enough for you. Why are you trusting me with something so important to you?”

Until April of 2020, I often asked myself that same question every time a new couple, individual, or business said yes, I want to work with you. For some reason, before that Zoom call in April, I felt a peace I never felt. It was weird because I was completely shaken by the recent lockdown that had occurred because of the Covid-19 pandemic. I was afraid for myself, my family, and my clients. I was completely unsure of what the future would hold, which for me at that moment, was beyond traumatic. My client at the time reached out to me because they needed guidance and reassurance. They needed to know that I was still there and that we would make the necessary adjustments to get through safely to the other side regardless of what could happen. Right before the call started, instead of wearing my usual suit, I wore a polo shirt. When the call started, I was afraid they’d immediately be turned off by my attire, but instead, they seemed more relaxed than I’d ever seen them before.

As we progressed through the meeting, I felt confident, calm, supportive, and poised. It was one of the best meetings I ever had. I went on to dress casually for every meeting thereafter. As I reflect on that call, I ask myself what possessed me to stop wearing a suit. At first, I couldn’t figure it out. It was such a small decision, but a big decision at the same time.

Many people in my personal and professional life have never seen me without a suit!

As I continued to examine my emotions, I realized the answer was simple. I decided to wear a polo shirt that day instead of a suit because I wanted my client to see me as I am and always have been, a human being just like them. A human being who was vulnerable to the uncertainty we all faced. Whenever I wore a suit, I always felt like I was performing. Putting on a suit for me was like putting on armor and going to battle. The suit was a symbol that I was disconnected from myself as a person. As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned the value of being comfortable with that person. Even now, fifteen years removed from purchasing my navy blue suit, that person still has flaws. He still has insecurities. He still tries his best to navigate what appears to be insurmountable circumstances. But he is stronger now. He is wiser. He also now realizes?the clients never said yes to the suit.

They were always saying yes to him.