I Have Cancer and I’m Not Afraid to Talk About It

By Amal Samuel

June 5, 2024

Exactly 3 months ago today, I was diagnosed with advanced local breast cancer. At the time when the doctor told me the news, I thought I would fall out of my chair as I don’t have any family history of it. I had just turned 39 in December 2023, and I thought, “This is not how I expected to spend the last year of my 30s.”

A year prior, I had been terminated from my job and had been having a lot of difficulty finding another job as a line producer in the animation industry in Toronto. We were in a sort of downturn because of the writer’s and actor’s strike which affected us as well, and lots of people were (and still are) in the same boat looking for work. In the meantime, as I was job hunting, I came up with my show IP, Possibly Ali? and started pitching it. I would love more than anything to create a show and book series for it: https://possiblyali.com/ ?

So how did I discover that I had cancer? By chance I had found a lump in late January and decided to request a mammogram from my doctor. Other than the lump, nothing seemed out of the ordinary and I didn’t feel sick, tired or lose a drastic amount of weight. I got the mammogram and ultrasound which led to a biopsy and an MRI. In late February my doctor called me in and said that cancer cells were found in the biopsy. I started to cry but I was hopeful that it was caught early on.

I had an appointment with the surgeon on March 5th and that was when I learned that it was much more serious. I cried again and was filled with dread. Within 6 months’ time, the cancer had already reached between stage 3-4 but they had to do more tests to make sure what stage it was. I found it harder to tell my family and friends the news rather than receiving the news myself; it was one of the most difficult days I ever experienced.

I went through a series of MRIs and PET scans to make sure the cancer didn’t spread anywhere else and so far, it looked like it was in the localized area except for a small spot on the spine. I was told it was nothing to worry about, but it became more of a concern when the spine scan could not detect what it was. A bone scan and a bone biopsy were ordered, and it took a month to get the bone biopsy appointment. I was not looking forward to that, but it was necessary. Waiting 2 weeks for the results to know whether the cancer could have spread to the spine (which is stage 4, past curable) was massively stressful. At my next doctor’s appointment, I heard the good news: “the results were negative” I felt so much relief! That meant that I am still at stage 3, curable cancer! Now I could get started on chemo which was delayed by 5 weeks due to the biopsy.

I started chemotherapy in May and so far, so good! Other than some fatigue, I feel fine, no nausea so far, but instead, increased appetite! Strange, right? I have estrogen + breast cancer, which means it’s hormonal-based. That doesn’t surprise me as I’ve been dealing with polycystic ovarian syndrome -PCOS- for the past 22 years (it’s a hormonal imbalance condition). I also must take an injection to block estrogen which puts me in a premenopausal state, something I wasn’t expecting for at least another 10-12 years. ?

One of my biggest fears was going bald and I began to lose my hair a few weeks ago from chemo, but now that I decided to cut it short then shave it, I kind of like it. It’s quite freeing not to have hair and I believe that hair carries old energy so in a way, it’s like cutting off the past. Fun fact, my ancestors, the Ancient Egyptians, both men and women used to shave their hair and wear wigs for special occasions so in a way I feel connected to that. I have my wig too; I call it Goldilocks.

Going through cancer in your 30s makes you question a lot of things and look at the stuff that used to bother you in a new perspective: arguments are a waste of energy as well other people’s bad attitudes and holding onto grudges. The things that matter to me are family, friends, pets, nature, peace of mind and the little things that make me happy like trying out new recipes or diving into many good books and keeping up with my artwork. Also, doing what you do as a paid job doesn't define who you are. I am also a lot more mindful of who I trust in my life too; I think everyone should have some sense of discernment when they meet new people. I used to trust so easily and that burned me many times; I learned a lot of hard lessons that way.

I would like to bring more awareness to cancer for women in their 30s and 40s as the average age for breast cancer diagnosis is 63. There’s not enough data for those that are mid-40 and under. Cancer doesn’t care who you are: it can happen to anyone, and you don’t need a family history to get it. What makes it scarier for younger women is that our cells regenerate at a faster rate which means that cancer spreads faster and our DNA is still evolving whereas women who are in their 60s and 70s who get diagnosed have a higher survival rate as the cells regenerate at a slower rate thus cancer doesn’t spread as fast, and their DNA is more mature. I am still learning about cancer and have learned a lot in the past 3 months. I would implore people to do their yearly check-ups at the doctor and if something feels off, request a test for it.

I’m grateful to my family, husband, in-laws and friends who were there for me and showed me a lot of love and support during this challenging time. I am a lot more hopeful about the future now than I was 3 months ago and I will continue to document my journey if this can help someone else going through a similar experience.

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