"But I have bills to pay..": Why the PREMISE we build our life on, DECIDES how far we will go..

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Preview

What if Elon Musk had asked himself the question - "How do I pay my bills"? What would he be doing today?

What if you and I ask ourselves a different question than - "How do I pay my bills"? What can we be doing tomorrow?

People say, to do something worthy in life we need to have vision, capability, hardwork.

I say, BEFORE and MORE THAN any of those, we simply need the right questions, which we make the basis of our existence

Read on..

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I hear this a lot.

"But I have bills to pay.."

I hear it when someone is telling me why they can't take some time off to study

I hear it when someone is telling me why they can't choose a different career

I hear it when someone is telling me why they can't voice their views to their boss

I hear it when someone is telling me why they can't find time to focus on health

I hear it when someone is telling me why they can't pause to re-evaluate life

I hear it all the time.

I hear it so often, and for so many reasons, that it appears to me,

We have made I-have-bills-to-pay the very premise of our life

So it needs a closer examination.

Point of inquiry #1:

When in life does this start dictating our decisions?

Consider this:

Why is it for learners,

Less about, "which subjects you like studying"

And more about, "which subjects will get you a well-paying job"

Sir Ken Robinson, in his iconic TED Talk - "Are schools killing creativity?" spoke about the hierarchy of subjects.

Math, science are on the top, and fine arts at the bottom.

Critical, complex and interesting subjects like history are merely 'tolerated', because they may not give you any other job than of an academician - which is not the highest paying job around

At that stage of life, we may use a different language, e.g.

• "You will have a good job"
• "You will have a stable career"
• "You will have a better standard of life"

But it is essentially the same premise of - I will have bills to pay.

So as you can see,

"I have bills to pay", creeps into our lives, pretty early

Point of inquiry #2:

How deep is the impact of this premise on our career and life decisions?

I write every now and then on entrepreneurship; about why people who are inclined towards it should find courage to give it a try (not everyone is inclined, and that is OK).

Invariably (not "sometimes" - but "invariably"), I get responses almost verbatim of:

"But what happened to doing a job because you have bills to pay".

What is striking about it is NOT that there are people who prefer a regular job, OR that they somehow seem to assume that entrepreneurs don't have bills to pay OR that doing a regular job is the only way of paying bills.

No, none of those are striking.

There are individuals who want regular jobs - and that is FINE

There are individuals who assume entrepreneurs don't have bills to pay - that is silly, but FINE

There are individuals who assume that the only way to earn money is regular job - that is lack of awareness, but FINE

But this is what is striking:

That the best reason people are giving for being on a job, versus something else they might want to do is - "Don't I have bills to pay?"

If the BEST REASON to be at place we spent 50% of our waking hours and energy, is nothing better than "I have bills to pay", something is seriously WRONG in the way we are conducting life.

And it doesn't stop there..

• We suppress our individual strengths, perspectives (which may even benefit the organization) - to be agreeable to our bosses - because we have bills to pay
• We do not say "NO" to our personal well-being, health, family being completely neglected for years - because we have bills to pay
• We almost never focus on developing other dimensions of self, taking time off to reflect, to become a better person - because we have bills to pay

So, we see that this I-have-bills-to-pay really dictates the very quality of our well-being.

Which then brings us to the final question..

Point of inquiry #3:

What on earth are these bills, that are coming in our way always?

One thing I observe many of us have stopped evaluating (effects of the Point of Inquiry #2 - not pausing to reflect) - is about our lifestyle.

A fundamental question we should all ask ourselves is:

How many of these belongings are really giving me pleasure - and how much is just a waste; there for "show-off" value

You are not just paying their bills, you are paying for it - with your entire life.

Are you sure it is worth that much?

That is a question we must ask ourselves, and answer with brutal honestly.

Because on our deathbed, we will be alone - answering them

minus those neighbors we were trying to impress.

Finally, what are we really saying here?

Are we saying, live a life of austerity?

Are we saying, go to the forest and become a saint?

Are we saying, don't take a regular job, quit it?

Are we saying, don't provide for your family?

Are we saying, study fine arts, don't study math and science?

Are we saying, become a professor, don't become a rich banker?

Not at all.

To prove it, and help understand WHAT IT MEANS, I am going to give the examples of two contemporary and very successful (from usual metrics of money, fame, influence, etc) business leaders.

1. Elon Musk
2. Ricardo Semler

Elon Musk was born in a normal family in South Africa; his father an engineer and mother a dietetics expert.

Imagine if Elon Musk, would have lived his life to answer the challenge of - "I have bills to pay"

But he did not, thankfully.

In Musk's life story, it is said that very early in his life he asked himself a question,

"What things would have the great impact on the future of humanity’s destiny?"

He made THAT the basis of every key decision in his life. You should read his biography.

Another such example is Ricardo Semler, the Brazilian business tycoon. He runs multi-million dollar businesses based on human policies, that most organizations can only dream about (including employees fixing their own salaries!)

(If you haven't read Maverick, you should)

In his TED Talk, Semler speaks of an incident when was taking a walk around a cemetery. In the first round the question that came into his mind was..

"What do I want to be remembered for?"

He took another round, and he says, he thought of a better question..

"Why do I want to be remembered at all?"

Such a beautiful thing, these questions..

Two entirely different questions

can lead to

two entirely different lives..

Semler went back and created a bonfire, to burn everything he has created. He freed his children from the burden of carrying any legacy - and perhaps himself too.

And that is what I mean by,

What is the PREMISE of your life?

It has NOTHING to do with WHAT you do..

You could be a..

• Banker
• Teacher
• Entrepreneur
• Grocery shop owner
• A person struggling to make ends meet
• A born-with-a-silver-spoon person

Anyone.. it does not matter, WHAT you choose in life

What matters is the BASIS on which you choose it.

So I want you to think of these questions, in your moments, alone..

• When was the last time I sat down with MYSELF to have a conversation?
• What is the question I have built my life upon?
• Have I searched for that question consciously?
• If I have, is that question worthy of becoming the basis of my very existence?

I don't know what you will answer.

It is really between you and yourself.

Because, when the time comes..

It is not our parents, peers, society or anyone we blame for our lives..

It is just US facing the END.. asking..

Did I live a life worth living?

Or, did I just pass life by, paying bills....

Live a life, you won't regret while dying.

And what that life should look like,

Is only for you to decide...

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Swati Jena is a writer and entrepreneur. While she writes on a wide variety of subjects, her favorite topics are leadership, culture, artificial intelligence, education and 'self'.

Swati is the founder of GhostWritersWorld (LinkedIn Page)/(website)

Her other articles include:

Technology & product

1. "If Robots will do everything, what will humans do": Why AI Rhetoric deeply worries me
2. "Justice delayed is justice denied": Could AI and Data Science be the answer to India's judicial backlog?
3. Flirt with your product ideas, don't fall in love
4. LOL ... driverless cars for India??: When AI meets Cows, Rajinikanth and Ganpati
5. Love in the time of Artificial Intelligence: Valentine's Day 2030
6. "Who pays the price?": Why PRODUCT INNOVATION without SERVICE EXCELLENCE hurts customers - the ETHICS of product innovation

Leadership and Organization

1. "If you are nothing without the suit, you don't deserve it": 3 cardinal tests for anyone who calls himself leader
2. 3 unforgettable lessons I learnt from an Indian Ed Tech Leader
3. "Oh! You are sensitive": Why sensitive is a TABOO word - and LEADERS should consciously HIRE such people in teams
4. "I love solving problems": The BIG problem with problem solving
5. "So why are you leaving?": Don't treat retention discussions like a ONE TIME date
6. Sophisticated-fear-based-management: 3 unmistakable signs
7. Interns or cheap labor? Making internship count
8. "Travis may be Uber, but Uber cannot be Travis: The curious case of Charismatic leaders"

Diversity and Inclusion

1. "Women can't code because of Biology: 3 reasons it was a BIG MISTAKE for google to fire James Damore (perspectives of a feminist)
2. 3 taboo questions Millennials are asking, leaving hiring managers shocked
3. Why the 'Corporate-style Women's Day Celebrations' gives me the creeps
4. The OOUCH of maternity leaves: Why managers secretly dread it
5. Man or Woman? Who should lead gender diversity? Why we are simply asking the WRONG question.
6. "She has good figure": Why creating a safe place to work takes much more than just sexual harrassment policy

Education

1. The Yin and Yang of Ed-Tech: Will schools even survive the next 10 years?
2. Why we "grown-ups" are the biggest reason the education system must change urgently
3. "No chair for teacher": Is it time we do away with this regressive and myopic policies

Self-help

1. The Monkey Catcher's Lesson: Why we get stuck in our jobs, situations, emotions..

2. "Anger is remembered pain": 3 steps to healing from difficult experiences at workplace

3. "How is life? Well, going on..": Why you should NOT quit your job, but GRADUATE from it

4. A "50-over-50" list: Pressures of adults "growing up" in a world of over-achieving youngsters

5. The (difficult) art of doing nothing and why it matters in a world proud of "busy"

6. 500 Uber rides without driver talking on the phone: My personal starfish story

7. "Here is a muffin that will make you successful": The unspoken truth about success

8. 5 reasons we should "stop fighting" for a cause

9. "You are hiding something": 4 reasons we find it difficult to trust those we love