I Hate Myself... or Do I?

Often central to the war within the mind is the notion that feeling unworthy and undeserving of love reflects the absence of self-love. The reality is that if we did not love ourselves we would be indifferent to our own needs. We’d be indifferent to self-care, whether or not we’re comfortable, and we certainly would be indifferent to the need to self-soothe.

"Sometimes we do not see things as they are, we see things as we are." ---Larry Crabb

If we didn’t love ourselves, we wouldn’t comprehend love on any level. We wouldn’t know if we are loved or not; nor would we care. There would be no sense of want or need, due to our indifference to it. We would continue to experience and feel physical pain, hunger and thirst, but emotional discomfort would not matter. Feelings of rejection, betrayal, resentment, abandonment and loss wouldn’t be a thing. We’d never feel lonely; wouldn’t even get angry or annoyed. Imagine that.

It’s because of love of self that we experience deeply the true sense of want and need. It’s because of self-love that we are aware of what’s missing, and it hurts to one degree or another. Even self-loathing and self-destruction is a form of self-love in the attempt to self-soothe, though as a method it’s dysfunctional and doing more harm than good; an unhealthy love of self.

Because we do love ourselves, whether it be healthy or not, it all matters. Feeling worthy of attention, affection, and investment matters. Relationships matter. How we view and accept ourselves matters. Our perceptions and belief of who and what God is matters. If people, even atheists, were honest about what they believe about God, they would recognize and admit that it’s all about failed expectations and the experience of unmet need and response to unfulfilled desire; the void within. Where was God?

Lifestyle choices and behavioral patterns tend to reflect the way we see ourselves and our place in the scheme of things.

How has an unhealthy love of self-fueled distorted thoughts and twisted values and beliefs, driven at-risk behavior, producing unfavorable, regrettable outcomes?

How have consequences of foolish behavior piled on to my already wounded self-esteem?

How then do I rebound from feeling self-hatred that left untreated leads to even more damage?

How can I hope to be restored in the way I see myself and find direction in how I live my life with the people I live life with?

If you're someone, or if you know someone wrestling these questions, I would suggest checking into the FREEdom from MEdom Project. I believe you'll find it worth your while.