I Hate My Job

I hate my job.

Something familiar to you?

Sadly, many of people are showing up to their work everyday carrying these words deep inside their hearts.

Hate is such a simple yet strong word to describe all your unmet needs.

You see, many of us are good at dividing like or dislike, love or hate, positive or negative based on the pleasant sensations or unpleasant sensations they feel in physical level or psychological level.

However, unless you take the first step to get out of this game of, “I love my job” or “I hate my job”, you will be miserable no matter you love your job or hate your job.

Because whatever the sensations you feel at the moment will come and go.

So if you love your job when you feel particular sensations, that can easily turn to hatred when that particular sensations are gone.

Then, what’s the first step to get out of this black and white world?

Understanding the law of the universe, Anicca. Impermanence.

We’ve talked about this at the previous article and if you missed it, I suggest you to check it out first.

https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/can-i-really-happy-my-career-dasol-kim-%25EA%25B9%2580%25EB%258B%25A4%25EC%2586%2594--dsvkc/?trackingId=gyCtch4DTlGM5MQ9BhmFOg%3D%3D

Today, we will talk about the second step: Observing as it is. Without any judgements.

What our feelings are trying to say to us is that there are our unmet needs. And if we take off the black and white glasses and observe the feelings as it is, we will be able to see those unmet needs.

So let’s go back to the moment when you say, “I hate my job.”

• What is happening in that situation?
• What emotions do you feel beyond the hatred?
• What are the unmet needs?

In the framework of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), they differentiates between primary emotions (such as anger, sadness, joy, and fear) and secondary emotions, which often stem from judgments and interpretations of others' actions rather than direct experiences.

And hatred is the secondary emotion. You need to find the primary emotions masked by hatred.

For example:

• Situation: Long hours with little recognition, poor management or toxic workplace culture.
• Emotions: Frustration, Anger, Sadness, Helplessness.
• Needs: Recognition, Growth, Support, Autonomy.

Once you began to detach yourself from such a strong sensation (hatred) and observe the core message its trying to deliver, you will have clarity on your actual needs.

And your unpleasant sensations will disappear significantly as you empathized yourself and understood what you actually need, which gets you closer to solve the actual issue in a non violent way.

We’ll further discuss on how to solve the conflict or issue and meet everyone’s needs in a non violent way in the next article.

First, try to practice to aware your emotions and needs everyday.

I feel (your emotions), because my needs for (your needs) are unmet.

Sending you my peace and love, Your Coach Dasol ??