I hate (how much I hate) change.
Tom Harman ??
The #1 GIF Creator on LinkedIn | You are not as boring as your last post.
My brain broke at 6:31am yesterday morning.
(but the cracks appeared in 2016)
My anxious brain spends 80-90% of it’s time planning, catastrophizing, and worrying about the future.
(the other 10% is coming up with GIF’s)
Panic Disorder has blessed me with a condition whereas I often have anxiety, about becoming more anxious.
In hindsight, the description is quite comical.
In reality, it will paralyze you and make you feel like you’re dying.
(hence the name of this newsletter)
At my worst, I would worry my next breath would be my last.
At my best, I plan so much I feel psychic.
I used to spend so much time in the future, I thought being “present” was a skill reserved for monks and the Buddha himself.
In 2025 I only spend about 50% of the time in the future, and it’s spent meticulously organizing my days with a planners, excel spreadsheets, and self reflecting journals.
If I don’t give my day these guardrails, I’ll end up in a YouTube hole watching American Idol auditions from 2014 while picking dead skin off my feet.
This week started as most do.
I woke up this morning at 5:59am (after snoozing through a a few alarm cycles)
I sat down at my computer, looked at my planner and knew exactly how I was going to spend the next few hours of my day.
My level of organization is an asset, but it’s also a crutch (that is waiting to be kicked out from underneath me)
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I walked downstairs to brag to my wife that I made my bed, and she paused to ask me a question;
“Our baby boy was coughing all night, should we keep him home from school today?” - Wife
My initial reaction was not “Yes of course. He should stay home and get better!”
My initial reaction was “This was NOT in my colour coded plan for the day. THIS DOES NOT COMPUTE”
I hate (how much I hate) change.
This all happened in my head as I stared blankly into the oven clock trying to process all this new information.
My overheating subconscious was treating the act of changing a few meetings around like I was being filed divorce papers with a side of “the furnace is broken”.
Thanks to a few thousand antidepressants and a sprinkling of self awareness I was able to come to a conclusion that should have been far less painful than I allowed it to be.
I. will. survive. another. day.
In hindsight;
Maybe by the end of 2025 I’ll be able to treat my schedule as more of a guideline than a prophecy.
Maybe……
Tom
ps. do you think you hate change more than me?
Empowering Professionals with the Knowledge and Skills to Buy Their 1st Business with Confidence
1 个月My son has anxiety disorder. Yesterday he was supposed to see his Dr. The appointment was cancelled because the Dr had to attend a funeral. We knew our son wouldn't handle that change well. My wife and I decided to surprise him and his twin sister at school with happy meals to give him something positive to focus on. Instead he was still focused on the missed appointment. I told him the reason it was missed, something I hesitated to do because death is something he worries about, but I like to be honest with him. Also I wanted him to know his Dr had a good reason and still cares for him. Most of the lunch he was somber, but he was smiling by the end. I hate watching my 8 year old deal with such big emotions. I often don't know if I'm doing or saying the right things. Keep sharing your stories.
Associate Media Director | Helping brands leverage performance media to drive leads and grow ROI.
1 个月This. Resonates. I’m constantly anxious about being anxious. “What if I get anxious?” Is a sneaky little question that creeps in just when you think you’ve planned for everything. I used to cancel plans when it crept in. I’ve found letting close friends, certain coworkers and family members in on how my brain works has helped me to know that even if I do get anxious or panic they will have my back, are armed with how to help me get grounded again and most importantly won’t judge me. And that helps just a smidge to reply to that question with “IF I get anxious, I will get through it.”
Helping Your Emails Land in the Inbox | Email & Funnel Strategist for Coaches, Creators and Service Providers
1 个月Kids have a way of throwing the "perfect" schedule out of whack Tom Harman ?? In the end things work out. But there's that moment....
AI & Leadership Strategist - Helping Executives Lead with Confidence—at Home and in Business
1 个月Bahaha I love that you even managed to turn your son into a canva image. I've had these days more than I care to count. It's soooooo challenging for me to embrace. My immediate reaction? Great, this day is shot. My day once I lean into it? My, God. This is is a MILLION times better than some BS work.
IT Professional Specializing in Infrastructure Management: OOP | CI/CD Enthusiast | Quality Assurance Expert | Transforming Ideas into Cutting-Edge Solutions | Passionate about Code Quality and Performance Optimization.
1 个月Now I love change as everything changes with every breath you take. You can’t avoid change. So embrace it and breathe life into it.