If I had my may. . .

Somehow, we have solidly entered the 2nd month of 2023 and I am astonished. The previous month felt long and short all at the same time.

In my day job, I have been embroiled in a project-ending communication battle with a key stakeholder. Ugh, it is testing all of my skills and for those who take future courses and training from me, it is feathering my cache of stories of what to do and what not to do when dealing with difficult stakeholders. ; )

What am I learning? That most of us are ill prepared to become adults due to a gross lack of life training. Something as simple as being taught any of the following would have helped me evolve into adulthood faster, let alone the key stakeholders that I am really struggling with.

I would like to argue that all of these:

1. Emotional Intelligence
2. Effective Communication
3. Personal Finance
4. Human Values
5. First Aid
6. Nutrition and Health
7. Time Management
8. Creativity and Innovation
9. Management of Failure
10. Sales and Marketing
11. Negotiation Techniques
12. Mental Health

are core competencies generally missing from the education system most of us graduated from. In my own life, I have had to go back to school as an adult to learn most of them and if I added up the total cost of me learning these as an adult it would be in the 10's of thousands of dollars. Adult education charges handsomely for what could have been taught for less money in a more practical and adult-making approach in primary schools. (I get that I am also a part of this industry which is ironic!)

The one that really stands out to me as lacking is ‘Effective Communication’. The issues I am having with the project I’m working on right now all stem from a breakdown in communication or the fear of it.?

I think the organization I am in conflict with had bad news to share with our team but were afraid to tell us the truth. Instead, they avoided us, said nothing and when time ran out, we learned of the decision and were shut out of any further dialog or negotiation. A sad and unnecessary way to conduct business but too often what happens when people do not harness the power of effective communication.?

I get it. Conflict is tough and none of us want to engage in it. But, when we avoid it, we create more problems and it grows.?

I would love to see a systemic change in our education system to address these types of learning areas when we are young. I think embedding them from a young age would greatly mitigate the fear they can present in adulthood.?

I have 2 kids who are young adults and when I see the world through their lens, I can see that they are better equipped than I was BUT are still lacking in most of these 12 areas.

In the meantime, I will keep learning myself and sharing those learnings with all of you in the hopes that one day, we will come to our senses and realize these are essential skills the we all need to start learning in Kindergarten!

-Amber (a.k.a. The Feisty PM)