I guess now I am a cool girl !

Laura,

Bravo, bravo, bravo !!!!

I have long followed your career and loved your journey - your authenticity, openness and successes

At 50, I was the first time in my career made 'redundant'. It was a shock, I was completely blind sighted and to be honest stunned! Pretty new into a role - I was bought in to drive transformation, change, help modernise a legacy industry, shake things up. Little did I?think I would be part of the shakeup.

The news went public the same day I was advised. I am well respected and have a high profile in the industry - my phone and LinkedIn blew up - messages of condolences, messages of shock, concern, mantras. Hundreds of them - and whilst I should have sat and appreciated this broader work network championing and supporting me, I was completely overwhelmed.

In my roles both in Australia and globally I have made many people redundant. Most the sad casualties of a cost out, the odd one convenient for the low to mid level performer .

I had survived them all, I was a high performer, high achiever, driver of change and builder of culture. I never took this for granted, my imposter syndrome real - but it was somehow also validation that my commitment, workaholic and marriage to my jobs protected me.

9 weeks ago, I was given my marching orders (along with a package that looked after me I must add) and my world has since been turned upside down. 3 weeks prior to the news I had spent 2 weeks in hospital suffering a major depressive relapse (my mental health something I am open about and champion in the industry and worth noting the business supportive), so certainly was not on my A game of confidence. Rejection and worthlessness is where I went -and still going to a degree. My life has quite literally been my work, my career, my validation, my self esteem, my reason for being, my distraction from my own dark shadows. I wear my work heart (and personal love) on my sleeve - I always go all in, occasionally getting hurt a little more than most and now what the hell is there for me?

It all sounds a tad dramatic I know. I am comfortable financially, have my health, great friends, an amazing family and an industry that supports me - my reputation oddly never better - but there is the underlying pressure of what's next. Not just for me, but for the industry and contacts around me - they seem way more excited about the next 'big' gig I get

I have spent the last 9 weeks going inward. Exploring myself, my values, taking time to do yoga, retreats, working with my psychiatrist and psychologist. Reflect and resetting. Lots of tears and plenty of fear. For the first time in 30 years, I am really taking the time to look at my values, where I derive my self esteem from and the realisation that as much as I am champion of being brilliant, extroverted, a connector and warrior on the outside - inside needs to come first.

I have worked on the British Army, led Optus through the biggest cyber hack in Australia, built spirit brands, sold baby formula, won countless awards, led brands globally and always considered myself a student of life. But perhaps it was just all about the peripheral.

So thank you ! I cannot wait to see and read your book. If you want case studies I am happy to be one ......

I am off to meet the Group CEO of a big company today ...... they are keen for me to join...... I just now am not sure what I want !!!!

Mel x