I Got My First-Ever Negative Review Today

(Here's my response.)

Hey Spencer,

I’m writing you in response to your negative “review” (in quotes because I didn’t actually officiate your wedding) of my very brief business with you some months ago before your engagement was called off. 

I’d just like to provide some further clarity regarding a few of the claims that you make here.

In the review above, you claim: "Mark was about double the price of anyone else we looked at, but my fiancee at the time wanted him so I obliged. He seemed to know what he was doing, and claimed that he could make our wedding, but he had 2 other weddings on that same day. He would basically be squeezing us in between weddings and then taking off right afterwards.”

The reason you are aware that I had two other weddings on that day is because we chatted about it freely. Both my other weddings were downtown, one at 12:30 and the other at 5:30, so there was plenty of time for me to serve you for your 3PM wedding downtown as well. We talked about this candidly and happily on our video chat - that I don’t like to “squeeze weddings in,” so I was initially hesitant. But you were actually thrilled that I was available and at how perfectly it would work out with well over an hour to spare on either end of your ceremony and the other venues only minutes away.

Also, I’m not sure about your charge about “taking off right afterwards” - that this is a bad thing or even an issue. Did you want me to stay for some reason? In all the 100+ weddings I’ve officiated professionally, I’ve never stayed afterwards. I’m a professional vendor, and when my job is done I leave the couple to their friends and family.

In the review, you claim: "In February (4 months before the wedding) my fiancee and myself decided not to get married. We emailed Mark to ask for a refund and he sent us a 'refund policy' that there are no refunds. This was never sent to us before we paid the deposit.”

Spencer, not only were you aware of it, but also you agreed to it.

First, I've provided you with a screenshot of the email I sent you after you said you’d like me to officiate your wedding. You’ll notice how the email explicitly instructs you to read and agree to the terms of service, and I'll paste the text of that email here:

"YASSSS - I’m thrilled to get to work with you, _____ and Spencer!

Okay, first things first: here’s the link to the payment portal. Please read over Our Unboring!Wedding Agreement (nothing sketchy, but important stuff) and then you can pay with credit card online. The balance will be due after our wedding workshop and your script is fleshed out; you’ll get a prompter email from me then.

Speaking of which: after I receive your deposit, I will follow up this week and we can get a tentative date in the calendar for our wedding workshop via video as we discussed, ideally 4-6 weeks before your big day. 

It’s a pleasure to get to know you better than a "hello" on Sunday morning, and I’m looking forward to our journey to your wedding together!

Cheers,

Mark"

You can also find in a screenshot I've sent you: your intake form, where you will see an itemized line near the bottom that says, “I agree to Our Unboring!Wedding Agreement.” That indicates that you agree to the clear wording that the deposit is not refundable. It holds your date and allows me to move forward with all the preparations I need to make for your ceremony. 

I can’t stress this enough: you cannot actually send me any payment without scrolling and agreeing. The webpage will not allow you to. It’s impossible to send me money without accepting this.

I've also sent you a screenshot of the relevant part of the contract you agreed to; note the very clear wording that the deposit is non-refundable. This is very standard in wedding vendor contracts. Pasted here is the exact wording of that section of the agreement:

"FEES AND DEPOSIT: 

The total cost of the Event Services is $797 + Ontario HST tax (13%); this includes all officiating Services and travel up to 200km from Yonge/Sheppard Toronto. A non-refundable 50% deposit equal to $450.30 ($398.50 + $51.80HST) is to be paid to activate this Agreement, at which point the Officiant will start providing Services. The full balance of the remaining $450.30 ($398.50 + $51.80HST) and/or travel fees ($0.53/km if travel exceeds a total of 200km from Yonge/Sheppard Toronto) shall be received by Officiant with the deposit. If travel fees are required, they will be stipulated beforehand in an email by the Officiant at the time of deposit. If Client does not remit payment as specified, Officiant has the right to end this Agreement without further obligation to refund money, including the Deposit, or to perform Services at the Event. The Deposit can be applied to another date and time as long as Client requests change in writing at least seven (7) days prior to the Event date and Officiant is available. If Officiant is not available at the new date and/or time, all fees paid in excess of the Deposit will be refunded upon request from Client.

tl;dr: My services cost $797 + HST, and there are no other fees besides travel over 200km unless I ask before your deposit payment. I ask for a non-refundable deposit of 50% up front, and then you pay the balance 4 weeks before your wedding. If you need to cancel on me, you can do that up to 7 days before the wedding and get back anything you paid over and above the deposit. If you cancel less than 7 days before your wedding, I keep the fee."

Finally, in the review, you claim, "Considering he already had 2 weddings booked that same day, it seems like a reasonable professional thing to work with the customer, not blow them off.”

When your fiancee emailed me and informed me of your cancelled engagement, she simply asked what the policy was. A screenshot of that email will show that she wrote this:

"Hi Mark,

Unfortunately, we will no longer be holding a wedding. We are unsure of your refund policies - please advise.

Thanks,"

Far from blowing you off, I replied that you had agreed to the non-refundable deposit, but that if you wanted to reschedule at any point in 2018 (and that limit was only because I’m moving out of province and would not be legally able to marry you in Ontario in 2019), I would be happy to apply your deposit to any new date. A screenshot I sent will show you that I write in that email:

"Hey ______ and Spencer,

Aw, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope it's for the best.

Our agreement was for a nonrefundable deposit. I've attached the PDF for your reference. That said, I consider this agreement to mean that I'm retained for the rest of the year; if you need my services anytime later in 2018, please just let me know and we can pick up right where we left off.

Mark"

After that, I did not hear from either you nor your fiancee again. I did not get a response from you either in assent or opposition to my message. And certainly not with a request to get back the deposit. 

So I am very surprised today to see a public review, not just because I didn’t actually officiate your wedding, but also because you seem to be so dissatisfied after a) agreeing to everything that occurred, and b) never following up with me to air a single grievance about the process. 

Of course, I’ve provided Wedding Wire with all the above information as well, to dispute your version of the events. However, I’d love for you to consider voluntarily removing your review. I understand you seem very emotional and I regret that this is an apparently difficult time for you. But there is a better version of you behind this anger, I’m 100% certain of it.

From my vantage point, and given the step-by-step account above with evidence of all our correspondence, I feel that I dealt with you fairly, professionally, and I never had a hint that anything was amiss… until today.

In fact, the first and only time I’ve ever heard from you personally came in an email a few hours ago that said, “I will happily take down the review when you return my money.” So it would seem that this review is your hostage. 

Why did you not reach out to me personally and much sooner?

A negative public review should not be the first time a vendor hears from you. The next time you wish to receive a deposit back in any of your business dealings moving forward, I recommend that you simply ask the vendor in a polite, personal email. And then… who knows? You might even get it.

Best to you,

Mark