I Got Dumped Three Years Ago Today...

I know what you are thinking. This is going to be a big Whoa is me story! WRONG!

Sure it’s going to have heartache, and I am going to get vulnerable.

However, I am writing this because I want you to see what’s possible. I want you to see that even the best of us have rough times. I want you to know that no matter where you are currently, there is a way forward and a way out. If I can do it, so can you, right?

Let’s go back three years from today. I lived in New Zealand with my husband and family, and we were getting ready for the big move back to OZ. Life was pretty good. We’d just been through exiting a company we’d had for 14 years, and I was working hard to bring in income from coaching. I was doing alright at it too.

My husband wasn’t with us at this time. He was over in Sydney, getting training with someone who was exceptionally close to my heart. Someone I loved dearly. As a friend, mentor, inspiration, and even as far as a brother. Having no family of my own (extended), it wasn’t often I took someone in as a brother, but this guy… 100%

He’d won me over during our training together. And then afterward, we spoke almost every day. 

He was a master at NLP, so he knew the right things to say. However, I never considered for a moment that when he told me how much he “f@ckin loved me” that it wasn’t 100% genuine. I believed this guy to be the real thing. My greatest friend at the time, my brother, my family. And I freaking loved him too.

I’d come to rely on our daily contact. Deep down, I knew this wasn’t healthy, but it was fun, exciting, thrilling, and made me feel so good. And what harm was it doing anyway? My husband saw it for what it was. He knew I was loyal to him, so there was no risk. So I thought!

That day I got a phone call. It was unusual that he would call me because I knew he was busy training clients. I took the call eagerly, as it had been over a week since we’d spoken. Then the bomb dropped.

For whatever reason, this man decided to end our relationship. Just like that! No warning, no lead-up, just BAM! It’s over. I was stunned and shocked at first. It made absolutely no sense, and I sat for hours on my bed, trying to catch my breath. He’d been harsh on the call, and I didn’t know why.

Then devastation and hopelessness set in. I was a mess. 

I didn’t know what to do, who to call, or what my next move would be. My husband called later that night after he finished the training, and I blurted the whole sorry mess out to him. He was furious!

There was more contact after that—another few days. My husband called him and told him how much he’d hurt me. Stepping up for me and being there to hold me up because he knew I was incapable of doing it myself.

Honestly, it would have been kinder for this guy to shoot me. That’s how much pain I was in. We had another conversation, and there were several learnings for us both, but no actual resolution. No real answers either. I was still at a total loss as to what happened.

But we must take things as they are and do our best to move on, right? Easier said than done. My highest values are honesty, integrity, authenticity, and loyalty. So what you see is what you get. With that comes an insatiable ability to never give up. This can be both a blessing and a curse.

I pursued an answer for some time. Messages, emails, written letters. All ignored. No answers, no explanations, nothing. I was left out in the cold with no real idea what had happened or why. Eventually, I had to choose to let go and move on.

So I did. It took me 18 months to heal the grief I felt. For me, it was like losing a family member suddenly. 

What was worse, I knew exactly where he was and knew I was being “ghosted.”

But move on, I did. These days, I don’t even care what happened. That’s because I know that everything happens for a reason. I also know that people come into your life for a purpose, and when that job is done, they leave. I learned a lot from this man and this experience, and that brings me some gratitude.

Because of this experience, I was able to embrace my self-confidence finally. My self-belief went through the roof, and I learned the value of internal validation. I was able to heal stronger, wiser, tougher, and I now have more resilience and grit than I ever thought possible. Nothing can stop me now, and nothing will.

I have a fantastic family in my husband and my two outstanding children. They walked alongside me every step of the way throughout this entire journey, their support never wavering.

The friends that left me… and there were many, are not missed or even thought about much. 

Those who stayed though and picked me up when I fell are still firmly in my life and cherished.  

I’m now welcoming new friends and contacts who are all lifting me higher and helping me build an even grander me. Together, we are creating an incredible platform of outstanding people who will be with me for a very long time.

My business is thriving. I was finally able to find my feet after a rocky period, and we are now welcoming the most excellent clients on board. I am just one step away from both time and financial freedom, and I can see that in the not-so-distant future.  

The moral of the story is. No matter how bad things seem right now, keep moving. As Winston Churchill once said.

“When you find yourself in hell, keep walking” I did, and I found my way out. Now I am creating my own version of heaven, and I love every day of it.