I Got Banned from Tinder for life, what happened next changed everything.

Thanksgiving Day, 2019

I landed back at DFW airport with my backpack, laptop, and a new quest. Fresh off a move back from small-town Indiana, fresh out of a marriage... stepping into something big.

My first business mentor had asked me to prepare to take over the coaching business he had been building for over 30 years.

This man had become like a second father figure to me, and I was ALL in.

?? A Mastermind Begins

By January 2020, we hosted our first "new generation" mastermind event to kick off a three-year knowledge transfer we had planned.

We filled the room with:

? Core coaching clients (business leaders across industries)

? A new cohort of young influencers with potential to become niche business coaches

And the youngest in attendance?

?? Nicole. ?? 20 years old. Free spirit. ?? Airbnb entrepreneur from San Diego. ?? Unknowingly, about to change my life.

?? Then, Everything Changed

On the last day of our event, COVID hit the San Diego Airport.

? Her flight was canceled. ? Her businesses shut down. ? She had nowhere to go.

So... she stayed.

She moved into my office. We worked all day. We worked all night.

But sometimes? We needed a break.

Nicole was young. Social. Restless.

And then... she decided to try online dating. In a city where she knew no one.

?? The Social Distancing Virtual Party Line

To make it safer and more fun, we launched a virtual dating experiment.

For three nights a week, we hosted private Zoom meetups for single, entrepreneurial-minded people.

It was: ? A reality dating show... but live ? A way to connect during lockdown ? Something to do after 8 PM while the world binge-watched Tiger King

And it worked.

Until it worked too well.

?? Tinder banned us—permanently.

But here’s where it gets interesting...

?? Constraints Force Creativity

If we could create new ways to connect for ourselves...

?? What else could we build?

?? Two weeks later, that same framework turned into something even bigger:

?? The Toughest Team Challenge

An online tournament for youth athletes to build leadership skills and compete for prizes.

In just 10 days: ? 1,200+ athletes joined a live 3-day competition. ? Teams worked on community service projects. ? Kids told us this changed their lives.

We were even covered in national news:

?? One team in California collected 10,000 meals for families in need. ?? A team in Iowa delivered thank-you letters to first responders. ?? A team in New York organized parades for retirement communities.

And the private messages flooded my inbox:

"This is the first time I felt like life was worth living again..."

"This is the first time I can remember feeling happy in a REALLY long time."

Six months later? Teams that completed the challenge started winning state & national championships.

?? Correlation or causation? We’ll never really know.

Another Pivot, Another Reinvention

Nicole left for a two-week road trip with her mom and never came back.

The next time I heard from her? She was living on a yacht halfway around the world.

Which left me searching—again—for someone to take over the Youth Leadership Business.

At the same time... ?? The world started opening up. No one wanted Zoom for youth sports OR dating. ?? I started dating in person. ?? I met my (now) husband.

And then—?? one week after we got engaged, he landed in the hospital.

?? A New Reality

By December 2021 (less than two years after my Tinder ban), I found myself: ?????? Playing full-time mom of three over the holidays. ?? Stepping away from coaching. ?? Redefining freedom.

And for the past three years? This wild ride hasn’t slowed down.

?? The Hardest Constraint of All

But here’s the thing:

?? Constraints don’t just force evolution. ?? They expose what really matters.

So here’s the new question:

What happens when the constraints aren’t external anymore?

What happens when you realize the biggest limitation... is YOU?

Because the truth is…

?? COVID forced me to adapt.

?? Tinder forced me to innovate.

?? Family forced me to shift my priorities.

But nothing prepared me for the moment when I had no external obstacle left to fight.

? No pandemic. ? No algorithm. ? No business dilemma.

? No medical mishap or co-parenting conundrum.

Just me.

Alone with my own doubts. My own habits.

And that?

?? That can be the hardest constraint of all.

Our own stories about who we are, why we are here, and what we are capable of.

Because when you can no longer blame your circumstances, you have to face something bigger.

That’s the part of the story I’ve never shared before.

Should I share it?

Drop a ?????? in the comments if you’re curious for Part 2.