I gave up Instagram from Lent because I was addicted.

Here is a video of a chimpanzee on an iPhone. I think it’s deeply alarming. 

The products and apps we are reliant on are more addictive than drugs. Of course they are - the world’s best designers and developers have dedicated themselves to getting us hooked.

Here’s what Google says on addiction: 

“Once an addiction to alcohol or drugs takes hold, it becomes the priority in a person's life. If you were an addict, you would find yourself spending more time and money acquiring and using your drug of choice. This means you would have less time for activities you used to enjoy, such as sports and hobbies.”

We still have control, but I caution us to recognise how much it’s slipping. Do we lose time that we would spend on things we love? Do we compromise the quality of time we spend with others? 

About six weeks ago I was in a car with a friend having a conversation, when they stopped mid-sentence. I was scrolling while we chatted and they in-real-time taken aback by how rude I was being. And, in that pause I saw the situation for what it was. 

When did I decide that it was acceptable to me to half listen and be half absorbed with my phone? It’s evidently not respectful or curious to be half distracted. It’s certainly behaviour in others that I would observe and remark on, but I’d told myself different rules applied for me. 

Red Flags You Might Have A Social Media Addiction

? Increasing amounts of time spent on social media sites - yes ?

? Preoccupation with being online - yes ?

? Experiencing withdrawal symptoms when not online - I guess so

? Losing track of time and spending hours online - yes ?

The list goes on. 

In that moment of realisation, where time stopped, I said I was going to give it up for Lent and deleted the app instantly. 

There was then another moment - a longer one. First, I had to Google when Lent started and how long was it (six weeks at that point - I was early. Fuck). Then, I had to confront the almost instantaneous feeling of loss - a strangely physical feeling that I wasn’t sure what I would do with myself. 

My addiction to my phone is a bigger problem than a love affair with Instagram, but it’s a good start. 

It’s been so easy and I’ve gained so much. 

I don’t have fear of missing out any more. I am spending less time wondering what other people are doing and I think, on balance, I feel more positive about how I look. 

I’ve replaced Instagram for LinkedIn (possibly cheating a bit), but what I am reading is enriching my life, and making me feel motivated - not self-deprecating. 

Going forward, Instagram and I are going to have a carefully balanced relationship, because I now see, from a healthy distance, the role I want it to play. I've downloaded the app for a few hours today to post some pictures, but now it's gone again.

@destinationdelhi is my visual account of my time in India. It’s an absolutely inauthentic curation of just the most special memories and prettiest pictures.  I wanted to be able to scroll back to better days and to celebrate how much I have done and seen, so this morning I set to work pulling together the last few months memories. I really enjoyed the process - and I actually enjoy that it’s public so friends and family can see what I am up to.

My friend Chris and I in Rajasthan in December. I've got 4 months of catching up to do...

I’ve never managed to give anything up for Lent before. It’s always day 5 and I’ve eaten chocolate again. Maybe this time the difference was I really knew it wasn't doing me any good.

In these lock-down days I am gaining a new understanding of the concept of time - how much choice we have over how we spend it and how fast it flies by (how have I hardly left the house for three weeks?!).  It’s time to take on our addictions to technology, one step at a time.

???? Follow my Indian adventures on @destinationdelhi - just please don't DM me. I'll be busy trying not to check the app.