I was gaslighted. I was not amused.

By coincidence I saw an?article on Inc.com ?about the Merriam-Webster’s word of the year:?gaslighting, defined as:

psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one’s emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator

Let me illustrate how this behavior confounded me:

1. He approached me to connect on LinkedIn with the secondary need to discuss my coaching him.
2. I reviewed the profile, noted the large number of common connections we have, so I deduced there was no reason to check up on him with any of them (first mistake) but I didn’t connect–I wanted to wait until after the first phone call. I am not a “promiscuous linker,” you know!
3. I asked how I could help him, to get more information. The reply was direct and simple that he needed a LinkedIn coach for career purposes.
4. So we made a zoom call appointment on Outlook.
5. The day of the session, he had to cancel. OK, I get it, Thanksgiving busi-ness, or whatever.
6. We rescheduled on Outlook.
7. At the agreed-upon day and time there I sat for 15 minutes (second mistake wasting my time after 5!), waiting. No-show. Checked my email and LinkedIn messages. Nothing.
8. I sent a passive-aggressive message about being stood up is not professional. His reply: I emailed you to say I couldn’t make it. Nope, nothing in spam or anywhere.
9. I learned from experience that it is prudent to live by the “three strikes and you are out” rule, so I asked him to suggest days and times that worked for him, and for me, and we made another appointment, which he accepted on Outlook.
10. The same day we made that appointment–at his suggested day/time–he cancelled the appointment.

Three strikes. Yer-OUT!

Gaslighted, although I do not feel that same “confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one’s emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator.” Not at all amused or sympathetic.

I am an optimist about people who have good intentions and who knows what turmoils is in the background (or in his head) that caused this for him?

I offer a time-tested service that has helped hundreds, thousands of people. He is not going to be one of them.

But the bottom line: no matter what real or made-up excuses, this forebodes really really badly. He will pull the same sh!t, not making any of the four 90-minute coaching sessions in any future we have together, so I cut bait.

Off to spend my abundant energy to help real people who appreciate each other’s professionalism and act accordingly.

I am?Marc W. Halpert . Call me Marc.

I am a?#linkedinexpert ?and?#evangelist ?, now over 12+ years.

I teach how to tell?#WHY ?you do what you do via LinkedIn for?#selfbranding ?:

• I coach individuals 1:1 on Zoom,
• I train companies, professional firms, NGOs, and
• I consult on LinkedIn techniques to market events and special projects.

All to be?#amazinger ?than the competition. My word.

I wrote 2 LinkedIn books, 2 online e-courses, and you’ll hear me globally on podcasts.

Liked this post? Want to see more???Ring the bell on my Profile.

Subscribe to my weekdaily blog: connect2collaborate.com/linkedin-nuggets/

My hashtag is?#MarcRocksLinkedIn . I do, so follow me on LinkedIn.

(PS I do not connect to people I do not already know or conduct business with.)