I feel like taking my own life...

An encounter with depression

(This write up in an extract from one of my old blogpost; circa early 2009, when I initially started my Virtual Assistance practice)

Late last night as per (Indian Standard Time) I received a call from a client, who seemed to be lost and complaining and just like out of the blues he spilled out "there is nothing more in life to do..", he said "I have lived it all..I have met challenges and achieved my purposes..."

I was surprised.. he otherwise seem to be well read, well traveled and wise..had opinions and solutions for everything on earth..but now he was contemplating on the worst... "I feel like taking my own life...."

I sensed the grave.. and spontaneously asked him "where?.... " he seemed to be rather irritated at my insensitive query.. "sorry to have bothered you..Its' not something you'd understand.. " and was gesturing to 'hang up'...

I maintained my calm.. and intently asked him again.. "I would understand once you tell me - where do you feel like taking your life.. which direction....?" 

He always admired my neutral Indian accent and there was barely a misunderstanding in our conversations... but in this moment there was a long pause... his choked voice said "bye" .. I felt the grip.. I didn't know whether I was supposed to probe further but then I let him go.. something in me was telling me it's the right thing to do..for the rest of the night I was restless. I was cursing the moment when I didn't know what to say or what to do.

At dawn this morning.. I received a message from him saying.."thank you Rish... I figured out there is more to life.."

Relieved I dropped him a mail too.."hope you head towards taking your life to where you felt like going..while fulfilling your long list of responsibilities.. they must have been placed way below..all you needed to do was rub off your clouded vision..

and see the minute footnote that reads 'pto' abbreviating 'page turn over' it's an indication.."

True isn't it ? We with our limitations see only what our objective sheet says..most of it gets written by our parents.. and some we etch out for our loved ones.. but its' all directly or indirectly measured against professional lives..

Our grooming is towards 'professional qualification' and then towards proving our 'professional capabilities'. Majority of our lives revolve our 'professional goals'. Once we accomplish some we add more.. and keep adding more sincere and aggressive ones with time.. we know the reality and say life is short so let's focus! But we don't relate life as journey. We forget that we had somethings, some places, some desires scribbled for ourselves..

I believe when that moment in time comes for me..and if the list seems like it's exhausted.. I would 'pto' and just incase if I find nothing there.. I would take my pen and write again.. after all I would be able to then take my life.. where I feel like it.. :)

Many of you, my valuable connections on #LinkedIn often hear me ask "what are your aspirations?" I hope you won't limit it to 'professional' aspirations.

Don't hesitate to connect or drop in a line, I'd love to see where you would like to take your life.

I believe, whether we are working together or not, if we are crossing paths, there has to be a higher purpose, may be just may be you missed seeing the pto

?

Sincere regards,

your [virtual] angel in disguise