I feel like I don't really belong with the powerful people I work with. How can I get over my Imposter Syndrome?

Q: I am surrounded by very accomplished people. I have done well and feel lucky to have a good job and I’m inspired to do well. It all sounds great, and yet I have these insecurities I can’t shake. How do I get rid of the feelings that I don’t belong?

-General partner at a high-profile firm

Dear General Partner,

I am familiar with what you are feeling. I came from humble beginnings, and there have been plenty of times I felt out of place with others in the room.

There’s a name for this feeling we share: Imposter Syndrome. It’s not uncommon for even very successful and accomplished people to have feelings of doubt, inadequacy, or intimidation. Some even feel as if they are frauds even though all the evidence points to otherwise. Psychologists say that these negative thoughts can lead to anxiety and depression.

While researchers have linked this phenomenon to perfectionism in highly successful people, there are likely other external factors at play too. This is not the first time I’m writing about the difficult period we are in with the troubled economy, inflation, industry layoffs, Covid continuing—all causing a spike in anxiety and worry. With everything going on, many of us are not hitting home runs right now and are feeling less than great.

Some of the things happening are not within your power to change. I urge you instead to control the “controllables.” As Stephen Covey advised, work within your circle of influence (the narrow range of worries we can do something about) rather than your circle of concern (the wide range of worries we can’t directly or indirectly impact). Spending time worried about what we can’t control ignites further feelings of inadequacy.

It's a small thing but I try to do something good every day, and every hour if I can. It can be something simple like holding the door open for someone or saying hello when you pass someone on a walk. These small acts of kindness are within your control and add up and make you feel better.

Never ignore what you are feeling. If you need to get professional help, make that investment. It’s not a sign of weakness but evidence of wanting to be your best. When I was at eBay, I got a coach to assist me on becoming a better speaker. I was introverted and didn’t talk much and worried that this trait could hold me back. To my surprise, we didn’t work on the speaking, but we did a lot of work to address the chip on my shoulder about where I came from. That work made me a better speaker not just because I became less shy, but because it made me understand that I possessed something valuable to say.

I began to feel more comfortable with my past over the years though the truth is I never felt that I had the pedigree that got me in through the front door. But I learned there were still giant opportunities?even?if you?came in?through the kitchen. After a decades long career, I’ve come to understand that that what society expects you to do is not all that you can do, or that you are going?to do. Just because you don’t feel like you belong doesn’t mean?you?can’t belong. More so, sometimes the biggest limits we face are not from society, but from what we put on ourselves. We are all capable of more than we think we are. I encourage you to let go of your internal limits and dream big but execute bigger. If you are willing to dream big and then work hard and execute well, you can achieve more than you ever imagined.

Every week I respond to a new question. Ask me your question in the comments section.