I will explain you how your mind works
To be successful you have to control your mind. That's where everything starts. If you are over the age of 10 you have enough self-awareness to exercise more control over your mind and your life.
The above is a mind-map that I've just created and listed in the image. Please read on only if you want the commentary for the above picture. It will help to enhance the understanding of what is written there.
WHY learn about this? - because understanding how our minds work and why each of us needs to take control of our conscious minds is a REQUIREMENT in order to live better lives.
A positive mental attitude is an absolutely indispensable prerequisite for success. And I don't mean the "success" that leaves you with a fat wallet, instagram attention and miserable 5 days of the week, but actually living a good and balanced life, all around. With love, wealth in finances and opportunity and a good body.
The real factor that determine how well a person does or how far he/she goes are attitudinal. And in order to have the right attitude, we need to know how and what to address.
The one thing that we own every second of our lives is our body. We inhabit this space 24/7.
There is an enormous difference in function between the conscious and subconscious minds. The primary role of the conscious mind is to take in information and analyze that information. Based on the analysis, it will decide whether some action should be taken. Also, based on what we consider as being TRUE about ourselves and the WORLD, our subconscious mind will take in that information.
- We have an ideal self, or self concept. This is made out of the values that we admire and do not admire, and we try to live by it. In our best moments, we sometimes perform according to our self concept. Ex: saying that funny line at the right time, or doing the right thing in a bad situation. The ideal self - is who we want to be. The ideal self dictates our "maximum performance" - although we can and sometimes do exceed it. Good leaders know how to bring out this ideal self and more out of people. So don't think the ideal self is the limit, it's just the limit that you have in mind.
- The Self Image is the real deal - Because it is the actual way that we think and feel about ourselves. The Self Image - is who we think we are. This influences greatly the way we talk with others, the way we sit, the way we behave, the things we go for in life. Our self Image dictates our regular, predictable performance. Success is predictable and so is failure.
- Self esteem - This is the most important of the three. Our self respect DICTATES the lowest levels to which we allow ourselves to drop.
With high self esteem, someone can be a high performer in a certain area and consider themselves as learners in other areas. The words used are positive and look upon life in a realistic, fact-based way. Words typically used: I want to, I am responsible, I don't want do, I don't have to.
With low self esteem... even though someone can be a top performer in a specific area, there is a lot of lack of confidence in ones abilities in other areas and there is a higher emotional response when things happen. Words typically used: I am not responsible, I can't, I have to, you don't understand me (but you should).
I'm not going to insist on what happens in our subconscious in regards to behavior. The subconscious is often compared to a huge supercomputer that works in an automatic way.
Example: If you have approach anxiety when meeting new people, that can be caused because in your subconscious you are running an old program that was useful at some point. Something you learned as a child.
Example: Let's say you were in kindergarten and every time you wanted to go and play with some kid, you were told NO, NO, NO, in an unpleasant way. You associated a punishment with your desire and request to go play. Why? Maybe you did not receive love anymore from the authority figure (ex: parent or some school teacher)when you insisted on your request or when you disobeyed. If this happened in the first years of your life, you don't even remember it now, but 30 years into the future, the discomfort is still there.
Maybe it was useful then, as a child, because you depended on the adult for love and survival, but you are the adult now, you have more power and you have to ditch that behavior that is a roadblock for you. There are a lot of sources online, mentors, that help you do just that. Or real life people. (end of a long example)
Based on the inputs of the subconscious (95% of cognitive activity) and conscious(5% of cognitive activity) you, as a human, will take a specific action.
The healthiest actions, in my opinion, for the mind are those that are - B. Goal Oriented that can also provide some form of Fun(tension relieving). So, they are rewarding in a certain way, for you. Whether you are working on a book, a song, building an app, weight lifting or some other form of project, whatever field it is, if you consider it to be fun and rewarding(every day you get some form of happiness doing it) and you have set out a Specific and Measurable Goal for it, then you most likely will get it done.
Form A. Goal Oriented - assumes that you are working towards a specific outcome and it requires a lot of self discipline. Self discipline, by the way, you can increase by imagining you can do a specific thing and then doing it. And being kind to yourself when you fail. And when you succeed, you will improve your self esteem, which will help you then believe in a higher self concept for yourself. Your self image will also improve as you become more consistent in executing properly what you have targeted to execute.
Form C. Tension Relieving(fun) - is a requirement if too much of A.Goal orientation is there and you live and work in an unhealthy environment, from a psychological point of view. Ex: Abusive relationships, working on something you hate doing, etc.
Rewards/Punishment
Finally, the rewards and punishment(pain) that someone receives are on the one hand, fact based and on the other hand, mentally constructed.
FACT BASED: I accidentally deleted my work in the last 2 hours. You have to re-do it.
MENTAL CONSTRUCTION:
Option 1 - Because I deleted my work, I feel like Sh*t now and I am going to fail. People will think badly of me, oh, this always happens to me, it's a disaster!... you get the point.
Option 2 - I deleted my work! Sh*t. It's annoying that I find it funny, haha! Ok, I can re-do the essential in 20 minutes, since I know how to do it faster now, because I just did it. Things like this happen. I'll just save my work more often from now on - AND I actually start saving your work every 10 minutes.
At the end of the action, we have some result which offers us a reward or a form of pain/punishment. And then, that result is interpreted by the mind and the actual process repeats itself.
We have the event that took place. It can be a brick falling on your right shoulder instead of your head from a building that you just pass by and this triggers a re-evaluation of your life. The event can also be the fact that you were on a diet, did some sports and lost 5 kg. Now you are motivated to continue strongly to a better life and exercise more.
The main takeaway lesson from all this, in my opinion, is that we are what we think.
To live a better life, control your thoughts.
Be Positive.
Be Realistic - if someone else did it, you probably can too.
Be Goal Oriented, mainly.
Love Yourself, love other people and do something nice daily.