I expect more from my fruit cups

I've always been an avid cartoon-watcher.

I mean, I barely watch live-action shows. Most of what I watch is animated.

I've been this way since I was a kid. My favorite show in the early years was Arthur. I watched it all the time. After I grew out of Arthur, I started watching Spongebob. My sisters and I loved the show so much that we bought entire seasons of it on DVD to play on the little DVD player in our minivan while we were out running errands with our mom.

I kind of have a stupid sense of humor. I think Family Guy is absolutely hilarious. Big Mouth, one of the grossest shows on planet Earth, is also one of my all-time favorites.

There's one running gag, however, from one of the greats of adult animation that resonates with me more than any other.

I am linking it here, and it is within your best interest to watch it. Trust me.

All done? Okay. Let's discuss.

I can't stand honeydew and cantaloupe in fruit cups.

Let me start by saying I don't really dislike honeydew or cantaloupe. When they're ripe, they're actually incredibly delicious. I loathe when they're in fruit cups because 1) they're never ripe (They're always crunchy and flavorless. They're supposed to be soft and sweet!) and 2) they're in EVERY. DAMN. FRUIT CUP.

I am guessing that melon is extremely cheap for catering services to buy, but I - in all seriousness - would pay an extra $5 for a fruit cup without it. I might even throw in an extra dollar if it meant it wouldn't have that canned, unripe pineapple, too.

Publix fruit cup.

It really bothers me because honeydew and cantaloupe are (this is arguable, but I stand by it) the worst part of a fruit cup. It probably wouldn't bother me if the fruit cup had all equally-delicious fruits in it. Like, if I got a fruit cup with strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries, and all three were ripe, none of the berries would be out of place. But when you mix two or three measly slices of strawberry with ten to fifteen too-large-to-fit-in-your-mouth chunks of watery, all-too-crisp honeydew, I start to feel like I'm not getting what I paid for.

I expect more from my fruit cups.

If I could change one thing about Panera, Starbucks, and all the other cafe-ish joints out there, I would suggest that they offer a fruit cup sans melon, and just upcharge like $2 for it. That way, the insane people who are satisfied with their cheap, measly melon cups can still continue living in filth, while we berry-eaters can finally get a side of fruit worth paying for.

If you're listening Panera, please. The people need you.