I Was Drowning in Self-Help—Until I Found What Actually Works

Inside Nat's Notebook - Real Reflections for Real Change

Hey You -

Here I was, knee-deep in my journey of trying to heal from burnout. Picture this: stacks of self-help books, hours of journaling, and post-it note affirmations on every available surface. I was doing all the things everyone swore by—but progress felt painfully slow.

It was like trying to push custard uphill with a straw (and yes, it was just as messy).

I told myself it was working, but deep down, I was frustrated. My mind was already exhausted, and these practices often left me feeling like I had yet another to-do list I couldn’t keep up with.

And then winter rolled in (remember last week’s article on SAD? Link here:?When Burnout + SAD Collide - That hit me like a ton of bricks.

Self-Help Overload: When Fixing Myself Became Another Full-Time Job

At this point, I had practically bought out Waterstones’ self-help section. Amazon was starting to fail me—imagine that! I had stacks of books on my bedside table, coffee table, and desk, all promising the secret to feeling better. I had morning affirmations taped to the bathroom mirror, a gratitude journal on my nightstand, and a vision board so full of inspirational quotes it looked like Pinterest had exploded in my living room.

I was doing everything right—or so I thought.

Wake up. Meditate (badly). Write three pages in my journal. Read 10 pages of a self-improvement book. Set my intentions. Say my affirmations. Visualise success. Move my body. Drink my lemon water. Avoid caffeine. Try breathwork. Do my mindset work. Reflect on my emotions. Track my habits. Stick to my new routine.

It was like my entire day had turned into a full-time job of fixing myself.

And yet… I wasn’t feeling better. If anything, I was spiralling harder. More anxious. More exhausted. More behind. It felt like I was constantly chasing some invisible finish line, only to find out it had moved further away.

And worst of all? I was running out of ideas.

If I had done all the things, and I still felt like this—what then?

That’s when I knew I needed a different approach.

Discovering the Missing Piece

Here’s the thing no one told me: your nervous system is the control centre for your entire body and mind.

Once I started learning about it, everything began to make sense—my overwhelm, my exhaustion, and why my well-meaning self-help attempts weren’t cutting it.

The nervous system is like an operating system for your life, and guess what? Most of us are running outdated software we didn’t even know we had.

But here’s the good news: you can update it.

Why You’re Stuck in Overdrive

What I didn’t realise at the time was that I was spending most of my day stuck in something called the Default Mode Network (DMN)—the part of the brain that replays the past, worries about the future, and finds problems that don’t even exist.

Oh boy, was I there.

What Overdrive Looked Like For Me

?? Constant stress? Oh yes. Even though I wasn’t doing much, my mind never shut up. I’d lie in bed, exhausted, but my brain was on fire. Replaying old conversations. Thinking about what I should be doing. Worrying that I’d never feel normal again.

?? Constant anxiety? 100%. The smallest things sent me into a spiral. A message from a friend? I didn’t have the energy to reply—but what if they thought I was ignoring them? A new email dropping in? My stomach would knot up before I even opened it. Even deciding what to eat felt overwhelming.

?? Constant exhaustion? Oh, absolutely. And I don’t mean tired, I mean bone-deep, soul-crushing exhaustion. The kind where brushing my teeth felt like climbing a mountain. The kind where I’d wake up more tired than when I went to sleep.

And yet, despite all this, my brain wouldn’t let me rest. I was in overdrive, even though my body had fully hit the brakes.

My First Experience With Breathwork: It Did NOT Go Well

Then I uncovered the secret to breathing and nervous system regulation—just like that!

Except… not really!

At first, it felt weird. Trying to focus on my breath just made me feel like I couldn’t breathe—great, yet another thing I was doing wrong!

I remember lying there, trying to slow my breath down, but the more I focused, the more it felt like I was gasping for air. It was like being told to "just relax" when you're already stressed—it only made things worse.

My chest was tight. My stomach was tense. My breath felt stuck, shallow, unnatural.

Wasn’t this supposed to help?!

But I was out of ideas.

So I stuck with it. Lying in bed, exhausted but trying to breathe better. Trying to slow it down. Trying to feel something change.

Nothing.

Then, one day—when I had pretty much given up—I stopped trying. I just watched. Noticed. Did nothing.

And that’s when it happened.

My breath dropped into my belly.

And just like that, my entire body relaxed. My mind, which had been running like a freight train for months, suddenly dropped down a few gears.

WOW.

I was onto something here.

Why This Matters: Breath is the Reset Button

The moment I slowed my breath down—even without trying—my nervous system got a new memo:

We are safe. We can relax now.

That was the beginning. I wasn’t just reacting to life anymore—I was finally understanding what was happening inside me.

And that’s when real change began. (More on that another time!)

Your Weekly #RebelMoment

This week, try this simple breathing reset:

1?? Pause and Notice – Check in with your breath. Is it shallow? Fast? Slow?

2?? Inhale Gently and Slowly – No force, just ease.

3?? Hold the breath – As you do, soften the crown of your head, forehead, and jaw. Relax the tongue into the floor of your mouth, and soften the shoulders, belly, palms, and the soles of your feet.

4?? Exhale longer than you inhaled – Let the tension go.

5?? Repeat 5 times – Let each breath feel like a reset for your nervous system.

?? Whatever comes up, remember this: Paying attention to your breath is a small, rebellious act of kindness toward yourself.

And that’s where the magic begins. ??

The real rebellion? Choosing to reset, listen and be present.

You’ve got this.

Let this be your guide to Reset Realign + Rise.

Life feels lighter when your nervous system is your ally.

Stay Blessed!

Nat x

?? Your Burnout Bestie ??

?? Need More? Let’s Keep in Touch!

Want more insights on living with ease, flow, and joy?

Keep an eye on this newsletter, and feel free to reach out with questions.

Remember, you’re amazing—trust that!

Hey there,?

I’m Nat, your Burnout Bestie. I know burnout, up close and personal. After pushing myself to the limit, I ended up in bed for 18 months, utterly drained.

My mind was racing, my body was exhausted, and I had nothing left to give.

But in that space, I learned some powerful lessons about my nervous system and how to finally live in a way that sustains rather than drains.

If you’re feeling burnt out or exhausted, it’s not a failure; it’s a wake-up call to shift how you’re showing up in life.