I Don't Want You to Coach Me

I was hired as a coach by a local business owner in late 2017. Her business had started in January of that year and was experiencing rapid growth. In the original interview, we talked about the coaching engagement, and how the process empowers entrepreneurs to take ownership of  the business, and its future direction. Coaching differs from consulting, in that consulting is someone coming to conduct an evaluation and make recommendations. Consultants do not usually hang around long after that. Coaching is a totally different kind of engagement. It is designed to help the client change embedded mindsets, take ownership of the future and to create an environment of accountability.  In the case of the client mentioned earlier, she was the perfect candidate for coaching. As I told her in the beginning, "my goal is to get you to the point you won't need me." That is the ultimate in coaching success. In coaching, you don't tell the client what to do, rather you empower that client to figure out what to do, based on the line of questioning. It's about helping the client to break through, not providing a crutch.

However, on more than  one occasion, I'd hear these words from my client, " Don, I want you to tell me what to do." My reply was always the same. I told her she needed to make the decision, but we would work through the situation so her decision would be sound, based on circumstances and facts. 

After 10 months of coaching, we took a break, driven by circumstances external to our client/coach relationship. It lasted approximately 5 months. During that time, the business  experienced significant but gradual changes. We stayed in touch throughout the break, briefly touching base about once a week. Then one day, she called me twice, the second was in frustration. The business was starting to do very well financially, but the client said, "I feel like everything is spinning out of control." She requested a meeting to talk about engaging me to work with her again.

We met a week later to discuss how that relationship would look. She said, "Don, I don't want you to coach me, I want you to tell me what to do. I want you to advise me." I gave her comments some thought and smiled. She asked if I could take off the coach hat and be an advisor instead. I replied that yes, I could do that. Her business is becoming more complex with ongoing rapid growth. She no longer needs a coach, she needs someone to guide her through the maze of issues and challenges, unique to her business and the industry she has chosen. 

It pleases me to announce that after just a couple of weeks, she feels that control is back in her grasp, and the uncertainty from a couple of weeks ago, has transformed into clarity. She is running the business with a newly found confidence, and a clear vision of the future.  She has also announced to me, that I am not going anywhere until her mission is complete. That includes a revenue goal and a business succession goal. I must admit, it is a true pleasure helping her grow the business, and watching her grow professionally. Coaches need not apply, she doesn't need one.