NO: I don’t teach women’s self- defence.

Long ago, thirty-five years or more, I stopped trying to compete with the rest of the ‘martial arts industry’ who were all teaching the ever-growing “goose that laid the golden egg”, known as “Women’s Self-Defence. Why? you might ask, and the answer is simple. Because it just doesn’t work.

Regardless of equal rights in the workplace, shared responsibility in the household, feminism, or the accusations of machismo, one thing remains the same and that is the expansive division of applicable force and violent intent between the sexes.

Women, and I may go as far as to say all women, have a great disadvantage when life-threatening violence is the currency on the table.

Is that fair, hell no, but it’s a fact of life in a world that is desperately trying to wish away the inequalities between the sexes. Equality arguments, which on the whole I agree with and would even strongly defend the rights of those who believe in them, are fine but like everything else in the universe, they are not limitless. Equality of action is fine, equality of outcome, well that is something else altogether. ??

Let us be real for a moment. Not only are women not equal to men when dealing with real-world violence but not all men are equal either! I would not presume to teach the same tactics to all men in equal measures, just because they’re men, and that's the point. We are not all made equal.

Indeed, that is why my classes are reduced in size when dealing with the untrained or the uninitiated. Some men are big, some are small, some are strong some are not. Personal protection is, well, personal and not a one-size-fits-all solution. Yes, many aspects are universal but there are equally many that are not and clients should not be forced to pay good money and spend irretrievable time on useless (to them) techniques.

So, what do I do when women come to me looking for advice or indeed combat training? That’s easy. I teach them the stuff that works, for them, and not the same rehashed baloney that so many other supposed 'experts' teach.

Above all else, I teach them to avoid all conflict where possible and especially all physical confrontations that could lead to violence. Full Stop. With one huge exception. When it is them (the women) doing the physical violence to a would-be aggressor.

In that case, they must unleash the hounds of hell, at speed, as forcefully as possible and without remorse for their victim. You don’t agree? I don’t care. My pedigree with violence is long and well documented, be it teaching the military how to perfect their use of violence against their enemies, or teaching prison staff how to combat it when aimed towards them, as well as participating in it, on the front line of the criminal underbelly of our societies on several continents in real-time, real-life situations, and far more than I would like to admit.

Women should learn in their classes, especially if on a reduced time scale of less than 40 hours, EVASION. How not to be where the violence is. They should be immersed completely in the reality of predatory violence, photos, and videos of actual assaults when available, and definitely not, under any circumstances shielded from this, “for their own protection”.

"Real-life violence is nasty stuff".

You cannot simply say, “It will be all right on the night”. You have to know it will be all right on the night; and you can only know that, if what happens on the night is already known to you, and stored in the form of positive memory bias, in some semblance of the reality unfolding.

Foul and offensive language should be introduced early on, as should exposure to real-life footage of excessively violent actions even atrocities committed against women. Actually, I usually start with atrocities committed against men first, to clarify the point that more men are victims of extreme violence than women, but equally with the intention of showing that the self-defence these men were taught didn’t save them and has even less chance of saving the women. It’s the truth. Deny it at your own peril!

There are exceptions to this and I will deal with that in a moment or maybe even in another post, as it is not a subject to be rushed.

Quite simply, if you can’t bear to see it on film, in a safe classroom environment, then there is very little possibility you will be prepared to resist and prevail should it enter your life, and far less likely to do it to another living creature should the need arise.

Remember your assailant probably started his predatory life torturing soft and fluffy helpless animals, gaining confidence in the carefree application of painful acts of violence committed on ever larger, unsuspecting creatures until he got to real-life humans.

Also, you will probably not be his first human quarry, maybe he has done this several times before. He (it will almost certainly be a he) is a professional at this and you, a novice, will be starting from a point of weakness, you need all the preparation available to you if you wish to survive, "prevail".

There are no Winners when violence happens!

Prior knowledge and understanding are probably the best ‘force multipliers’ you could have.

Violence has been studied consistently, in great depth, and by a sufficient number of experts from all genres; military, police, and prison services worldwide (biochemistry, neurology, psychology, sociology, anthropology, biology, neuro-mechanics, biomechanics, sports science, etc.) to be able to say categorically that indoctrination has huge benefits when trying to tip the scales in a surprise attack/ambush situation.

Predatory violence will often start from a surprise attack and from which you will engage your attacker from a disadvantage. Some call this an ambush, that is to avoid victim blaming. Most surprise attacks are not actually an ambush, they are a surprise to the target simply because the target was not paying attention to their environment!

So, I DO NOT; teach the fighting arts, boxing, or kung fu. I don’t teach jiu-jitsu or Filipino knife fighting. Not because I have ruled out their usefulness, but because I believe to achieve sufficient confidence in the arts takes too much time and effort, which in my experience, quite simply, civilian students will not invest. So, shortcuts are made. I don’t teach women to block blows from male assailants, because they just don’t work, ever.

Yes, yes shout me down if you wish, but if you are going to tell me they do you are part of the problem, you have no experience with real-life predatory violence. I’m not saying you didn’t fight in the pub last weekend, you probably did, but that was a fight in a pub and not predatory violence, so shut up, you haven’t got a clue.

Blocks don’t work for women against men but they don’t work for men either, not against men anyway. They are for kung-fu films and man dances outside a kebab shop.

I DO TEACH; situational awareness, anxiety management, situational control, mindset, ego control, anger management, predatory selection, subterfuge, and biomechanics, all from an academic standpoint. From a physical perspective, I teach physiology and biomechanics along with the use of edged weapons, improvised weapons, and environmental weapons, predominantly from an aggressive predatory position. Defence for me is a mute subject when dealing with predatory violence. "Defending is losing slowly", my dad used to tell me. I have seen no proof that he was mistaken.

“You must be the predator or you will be the prey. There is no middle ground”.

Should a female student of mine feel obligated to use physical violence against another human being, however lowly that person may be, I will feel as if I had failed her. Even when she prevails and leaves her attacker as a sad stain on a hospital gurney, I will still feel like I failed her.

"Violence should only ever be used when all other options have been investigated and ruled out as unsafe".

As for the exception I mentioned earlier; None of the above is relevant if you are living with your aggressor, be it husband, boyfriend, brother, father, or other. The physical option should be way, way down your list (but still on the list) of options, and yes you do have options. Please don't think you don't.

If you are in such a situation and feel trapped please reach out, I can put you in touch with professionals, and specialists in this field who will gladly do all they can to help get you out of the situation. You are not alone.

If you should wish for any more information on the courses available for your Personal Protection feel free to contact us.

Here in Cádiz, Spain we teach civilians, individuals, small groups, families, or companies, as well as Police and Military units. We can provide online workshops, courses, and educational material specifically designed to guide you through the minefield which is "self-defense" and it's relationship with "personal protection".

We can help you develop a flexible personal protection plan, that you will, with a little help, find easy to implement. It is far from all physical, but our CQC courses are also extensive for those whose employment doesn't allow them to avoid physical violence.

Contact us at www.insafehands.net [email protected] or feel free to drop me a DM.