I Don’t Like Conflict. Well Who Does? Why avoiding the little things can cost your small business more than you think

It always fascinates me when I ask owners or their staff about the challenges and problems in their small business because nine times out of ten, they’ll tell me what the problem actually is which is great.?

But then when I ask, ‘why haven’t you talked to the person about it?’, the answer is usually, ‘Ohh I don’t like conflict’.

To which I just shake my head.

Focus: Guide Your TEAM

Because guess what – NO ONE LIKES CONFLICT!?

In all my working life, I have never met someone who says, ‘well I love a bit of conflict to start my day’. Have you?

Of course not!?

So why does everyone use this phrase as the reason for not dealing with issues?

Because unfortunately, we accept this as a valid reason when it’s actually just an excuse, and a poor one at that.

And if you’re reading this and thinking, ‘that’s too harsh’, then remember the last time you avoided dealing with an issue when it happened because your response was ‘I don’t like conflict’.? What was the result?

I bet you it was one of these outcomes:

·??????? Avoiding it created a bigger issue which blew up down the track

·??????? You lost a good staff member because they were sick of the poor performer getting away with murder so they left

·??????? Mistakes kept costing you time, customers and money (real, potential or through rework)

·??????? Morale within your team dropped and was replaced with frustration

So how’s avoiding the ‘conflict’ really working for you?

It’s not, is it?

When I coach small business owners and their teams to navigate challenges and solve the problems costing them time and money, it usually hinges around….

·??????? Lack or inappropriate communication

·??????? Little or no documented systems about how we do things at Small Business XYZ

And the people issues can be:

·??????? Agreeing to or approving things when there is no authority to do so

·??????? Promising to do something and never doing it ie all talk and no action

·??????? Letting people get away with not doing everything that’s required in their job

·??????? Fixing mistakes instead of training the person about what to do next time

·??????? Making only the fun or feel good decisions and forcing others to deal with the bad or uncomfortable ones because you don’t want to

·??????? Believing some positions are more important, and easier to do, than others

·??????? Rewarding those who complain rather than those who work hard and get on with it.

But here’s the real kicker.?

All of these issues could’ve been prevented by firstly having documented systems, and then secondly, addressing any transgressions as soon as they occur rather than waiting for a better time (which is code for never because the thought pattern is ‘if I leave it alone, it will resolve itself’). ??Which is sooo incorrect.

W Edwards Deming said, ‘94% of all failure is the fault of the system, not the people’.

When I dig deep into the problem and how it came about, the majority of communication and thus people problems could have been solved by documenting 3 key systems:

?? ?SYSTEM #1: Clarity of the Role

What each person should and should not do in their position which is more than what’s outlined in their generic position description.

?? ?SYSTEM #2: Delegations

What each person can and can't do in their position which includes decision making boundaries.? This can be outlined in a Delegations Register, position description and/or the Position Handbook

?? ?SYSTEM #3: The 'How To' Manual

The steps for each task undertaken in each position, documented in what I call the X Position Title's Handbook/Manual.

What’s Next?

Now think again about the ‘conflict’ situation you avoided in the past.?

Did you have any documented systems which clearly addressed what should’ve been done in that situation??

If this answer is No, then that’s your homework because telling someone is not the answer because a great memory will only get you so far.

The reality is it only increases the chance of misunderstanding, whereas information/procedures written down, in simple language which anyone can understand, ensures excuses such as ‘I didn’t know’ or ‘I didn’t understand’ cannot be accepted (assuming of course you trained them in these procedures).

If you did have documented systems, then were they followed?? If not, why not?

As long as change management and training are part of the systems implementation process, there are only TWO reasons why people don’t follow systems:

1.????? They need more training which is easily solved with more training

2.???? They make a CHOICE not to follow the approved and documented systems which is an immediate performance management conversation.

And here’s my final thought

The next time you or someone in your team says they didn’t deal with something because ‘they don’t like conflict’, please ask them the Dr Phil question, ‘so how’s that working for you?’

Then see what the response is because accountability and responsibility from everyone, not just you and your managers, are essential for business success.

And remember Michael Gerber’s famous quote:?

People come and go but the systems remain.

Cheers

Tamara (aka the Bob the Builder for Small Business ??)