I Don't Like Avocado Even If Everyone Else Does!

"Hey, try again, just this one time, I'm sure you will like it." I've stopped counting how many times I've heard this when I'm offered an avocado or something made from the "good for you" but not my thing green food.

I don't like them and frankly, they don't like me...I could elaborate but out of kindness, I won't.

The trouble with not liking avocado is this statement: "Everyone loves them!" I feel a little rumble inside when I hear that because it goes against all that I believe about our unique design and the fact that no two people share the same finger prints...so it does not matter what everyone else does or likes when it comes to creating and building a life and work life that you love or better yet, when it comes to just being yourself.

After partnering with hundreds of brilliant and accomplished people in coaching relationships, it still amazes me that two of the biggest obstacles to success is comparing yourself to others and doing something because everyone else does it and not valuing yourself for your own unique design.

Leaders on all levels get trapped into thinking their success should look, feel and shine like the person who wrote the book they just read, or who was on the podcast they just listened to or who spoke at a conference they attended. This thinking is both defeating and exhausting. The other rub of comparing is that it causes one to devalue who they really are and to chase success "outside" of themselves instead of recognizing the success they can enjoy by embracing their own strengths, gifts and the goodness of their contribution in the world.

Success is an inside job with an outward expression.

Making success about someone else means that you will always chase the carrots of approval no matter how many likes, followers or great things people say about you or no matter how much you accomplish.

The key to real success is believing in your value and worth without the need for anyone to like it the way you do.

Others may inspire your success but you are the only one who can step into it and own it based on who you are and what you are called to do in the world.

I'm a optimist and cheerleader by DNA, believing in and supporting the brilliance in others has been a part of my life since grade school when I made it my mission to include every kid in games and play times because I didn't want anyone to feel left out. What I didn't realize is I had a habit of leaving myself out and not valuing my uniqueness and one of a kind design. I compared, reviewed and measured myself to others and found myself coming up short in my mind and heart. It didn't matter how much success I enjoyed or the deeply sincere feedback I got from clients and friends, I was waiting for "everyone else" to approve of me or my work before I gave myself permission to thrive and shine simply based on who I am.

I don't feel that way anymore, I value who I am, because I am...period. I wish I could tell you that the clouds parted and a revelation bubble dropped out of the sky containing the words: "You are enough!" but it didn't happen that way. I had a breakthrough change when I surrendered to embracing my value out of exhaustion. It was too heavy to have beliefs that kept me stuck or frozen. In addition to surrendering beliefs that didn't serve my work or life, I began to build connection with people that I trust to create an environment of honest and helpful feedback. This meant I didn't have to keep the spotlight on what I perceived as my weakness, I could trust the others around me to share their observations for celebration and for growth, this is brilliance of community and connection!

The wonderful part of this process is the realization that we don't have to like avocado to celebrate our own unique view point, design and contribution...even if everyone else does.

That is powerful.

It's especially powerful when you are growing your company or working with your team. Not everyone will have the same view point but everyone has value that you can acknowledge and celebrate.

Why be like the crowd when you are a one-of-a-kind masterpiece? Your ideas, beliefs, contributions are unique to who you are, not what you do.

Avocado or not, success is all about what's going on inside no matter what "everyone else" chooses. How do you stay out of the "everyone else" trap and embrace your gifts, values and contributions?