I Don't Know Where I'm Going, But I Know How to Get There

I wanted it all. I wanted to make my mark. I wanted achievement and respect, wealth and recognition, that elusive inner circle seat. Everything.

I envisioned the life I desired, and the optics were stunning: A big beautiful home, but not a tacky Hollywood monstrosity. A functional, yet comfortable abode impeccably decorated, located impossibly close to the city center, yet serenely secluded. I pictured myself as a champion of commerce, discovering something awesome and essential, generating vast sums of money and virtuously living far below my means. I saw myself standing behind distinguished podiums, receiving numerous humanitarian awards, humbly crediting my achievements to the inspiring courage of the downtrodden and tireless work of my team. There I was, changing the world in seismic ways, so visibly but never arrogantly. A gorgeous vista.

I set big goals, carefully breaking them down into actionable steps complete with milestones, contingencies, and metrics. I knew exactly what I needed to do to become the incredible future me. Armed confidently with a squadron of to do lists, to read lists, to get lists, and to be lists.

And I was right on track, ahead of schedule even, before everything came crashing down. Those tiny shortcuts - ignoring my values here, compromising my integrity there – slowly eroded the foundation of everything I had meticulously planned. I experienced utter failure in every measurable way. I had built my life around the pursuit of money, power, and fame, without appreciating the difference between being successful and making an impact. I chased shallow gratification without understanding the difference between pleasure and happiness. I was a student of wealth, rather than a disciple of greatness. I wasted my time and talent on so many meaningless ideas.

Picking up the pieces, I learned a most valuable lesson, a universal maxim that now guides every one of my choices, an eternal truth that has changed my life in unimaginable ways. Not only did I make poor choices while pursuing my ambitions, but I also had the wrong goals. I used to believe the key to success was creating big, hairy, scary goals and summoning the courage to achieve them, come what may. I had things backwards. Despite my grandiose visions and countless racks of neatly stacked plans, the fact remains: there is only one goal in life that truly matters.

Problems With Traditional Goals Setting

Without personal goals, we would drift aimlessly through life. This may be acceptable for some, but for highly ambitious individuals, it simply won’t do. However, if you are determined to become your best, traditional goal setting has significant flaws.

Short-Term Goals

Short-term goals work best when the activities to complete them are defined clearly and determined externally. These goals are ideal for achieving professional credentials and other discrete qualifications.

1. You get immediate stress relief from simply making a choice.
2. Emotional and mental costs are low as the payoff happens relatively soon.
3. You can focus on individual steps, rather than figuring out how to reach the destination. The roadmap is clear, and the path is well-travelled.

But short-term goals have a big problem: they do not address whether or not to pursue a goal in the first place. They’re good at writing chapters but bad at writing books, strong at telling you what to do but weak at telling why you should.

"Nothing in life is quite as important as you think it is while you’re thinking about it." - Dr. Daniel Kahneman & Dr. David A. Schkade

Setting short-term goals provides no complete solution for the most ambitious people. They place far too much weight on your current situation and not nearly enough stock in your destiny.

Long-Term Goals

Long-term goals assume you know exactly where you want to go. They narrow your focus, assuming you understand precisely who you want to become many years from now. But by predetermining your perfect future, you rob yourself of precious lessons life will teach you along the way. This is at best a self-fulfilling prophecy, at worst a self-limiting creed. It is like stubbornly following a childhood dream, without reconsidering the complex inputs and outcomes as an adult. Yes, with time and effort, a clearer view of your purpose will develop; however, the moment you conclude you know everything about yourself that is all you will ever know.

For traditional goal setting, Max Bazerman has it right: “Goals are appropriate when you know exactly what behaviors you want, you aren't concerned about secondary behaviors, and unethical behavior is not a big risk.” Achieving greatness cannot be compartmentalized, so for people determined to become their best, the limitations disqualify even the most carefully crafted goals. Sure, variations of success can be pulled off by focusing only on one area of life and applying all your energy towards that singular aim. But unlike popular definitions of success, greatness requires pristine synergy between your mind, body, and soul. To produce the maximum possible impact, the complete expression of your talents, passions, and values must sing out as one voice, fully engaged, performing together in perfect harmony.

The Only Goal That Matters

Expressing your talents, passions, and values through the unity of your mind, body, and soul is only possible when your plans are aligned with your purpose. Calibrating your actions with your purpose is called greatness. Therefore, people determined to become their best have already identified life’s most important mission: to become the best human being possible.

"The reason you were born is to become the best human being you can possibly be. Personal development is not a tool for reaching a bigger goal. Becoming a complete human being is already the biggest and most noble goal you can aspire to." - August Turak

When you combine all inputs imperative to achieving greatness, you discover there is only one goal in life that truly matters: applying your unique talents, deepest passions, and highest values to create the maximum positive impact for yourself, the people you love, and the world around you.

The Greatness Equation

Greatness is created by one thing alone: your choices. The greatness equation has three variables, none of which are external: your talents, your passions, and your values. This is why externally motivated goals are suboptimal; they simply originate and are evaluated in the wrong location. For accomplishing the only goal that matters, the outside world has one purpose: to provide you with opportunities to use your time and energy to develop and deploy your greatness. The world allows you to seek the people and places critical to developing your unique talents. The world offers you both inspiration and disappointment to cultivate the deep passion that reveals your purpose. The world gives you the environment to act and react to situations in alignment with your highest values. The universe tests you, helping you acquire the grit necessary to become your best; the responsibility of achieving greatness, however, is yours alone.

Deep passion is not a feeling; it’s a destination you reach through the constant struggle to foster your interests. Discovering your purpose is not an academic exercise; it is a daily pursuit. Finding meaning in your life is not a divine right, but a challenge life poses to you: will you align your choices with what you believe to be right, or will you allow short-term setbacks, high-pressure situations, or people’s expectations of you to take you off your path?

“People who are congruent act in harmony with their deepest values and beliefs. They walk their talk. When they feel they ought to do something, they do it. They’re not driven by outside forces, including the opinion of others or the expediency of the moment. The voice they listen to and respond to is the quiet voice of conscience.” - Stephen M.R. Covey

Be mindful of the greatness equation for each of your actions - not just the formal goals you set for personal, business, or family achievements. Greatness is a call you answer through the seemingly unimportant incremental decisions you make each day. Greatness is the only goal that matters, because any plan formed incongruent with your purpose will not lead you to where you truly want to go: the place where you are the most you - a place of lasting joy and personal peace - the place from which you will make the maximum positive impact on the world in a way that only you can.

Achieving Greatness

We’ve all heard the well-meaning advice to live each day as if it were your last - do the most important things today, say what you need to say right now - you never know when you will die, so focus on the big things and leave this earth with no regrets. The problem with this concept is it is delivered in a melodramatic way, ineffective for sound decision-making. If you only had 24-hours to live, you wouldn’t exercise, eat healthy, sleep for seven hours, or learn a new skill.

Actions necessary to achieve greatness are not desperate, regret-fueled exploits, but mindful expressions of your purpose. Act as if someone is writing your eulogy, based on each action you make. Behave like each singular choice will form the totality of your legacy. Rather than treating every day as if it were your last, live every moment as an emphatic declaration of everything you are.

Control

You can’t govern the thoughts and behaviors of those around you, and you can never stop unexpected or discouraging things from happening. However, how you navigate the ups and downs of life ultimately shapes your destiny. You alone control your greatness by aligning your actions, both proactively and reactively, with your highest values.

Courage

Staying true to your purpose often comes with short-term costs. But by understanding there is no version of greatness that requires you to compromise the core of who you are, you gain the courage to make the difficult choices essential to achieving greatness.

Peace

The struggle to become your best can be stressful and confusing. Sometimes, it is difficult to decide what to do, given time constraints, family obligations, and financial realities. The greatness equation provides an immediate rubric for choosing actions that pave your path to greatness. In all choices, big and small, ask yourself: “Am I ok with this individual action representing everything that I am and ever will be in legacy?” There’s a welcome sense of relief that occurs when you consider your options, based on the degree to which they parallel your purpose. Through this process, you experience peacefulness that can only come by tuning your actions to the frequency of your soul.

Perspective

There is nothing practical about achieving greatness. It requires a complete reformulation of your decision-making process. There are no important or unimportant decisions; greatness is in each of your choices every moment of your life. The greatness equation raises the altitude of every decision, providing you with a glorious point of view. When operating from this height, your choices are never justified by the expediency of the moment. From this perspective, your actions are led by integrity and purposed for destiny.

Confidence

A beautiful emotional shift takes place when you embrace the greatness equation. You are no longer searching for a nebulous concept of “right” and “wrong”; rather, you are focused on discovering what is right or wrong “for me.” You appreciate that not all promising opportunities will fit your unique talents, passions, and values, and that’s ok. They are not bad options; they’re just not for you.

“Imagine who you want to be and then step towards it.” - Mark Manson

One of the most encouraging aspects to achieving greatness is that, while it is a lifelong endeavor, it is neither hidden nor far away. It is not dependent on where you live, your financial situation, your education or family background. Greatness is live and direct in every choice you make. Greatness is local and immediate in how you react to what happens in life. Remember the greatness equation in each and every one of your actions. It is developed internally and deployed externally, so nothing or no one can stop you from achieving greatness. It is 100% up to you.

Where I’m Going

I know what to do. I know exactly what to do. And it doesn't change based on where I am. It makes no difference whether it is personal or business related, recreational, or intellectual. It is the same when I am with family, friends, or clients, on stage, or by myself. In triumphant moments, I get it. When fear, bad habits, or social pressures tempt me to bend my behavior towards what is easy or expected, I now recognize the most precious of opportunities: the chance to define, develop, and deploy my greatness, right here and right now. My biggest blessing and highest responsibility is the eternal understanding that, through each one of my actions, I am answering the largest question of my existence in real time. Will I let situation or circumstance remove me from my path? Will I allow pride or convenience to destroy my unique place in it all?

I failed so many times, searching everywhere for my purpose, except the only place that mattered: inside of me. What I was looking for was there all along; it was just hidden by my insecurities and immaturity. I finally found lasting peace of mind. I no longer evaluate my achievements by external standards, nor do I believe in a zero-sum universe, where my excellence cannot improve without diminishing another’s brilliance. I now have inextinguishable joy in my heart – an otherworldly excitement to create my legacy in clear and present ways. At last, I have true love in my life as the relationships I hold close are never placed on the backburner nor scheduled according to convenience. Building strong bonds of trust with those I care about is instantly and ultimately as important as anything else I will ever do.

Greatness is not found in existential searching, philosophical musings, or abstract reasoning. It is created and confirmed through your responses to the opportunities and challenges life presents to you. Difficult situations are not to be avoided, but seen as what they are: inevitable and essential to achieving the only goal in life that truly matters. Learn to choose, in every situation, actions that echo throughout the highest chambers of your values, resolutions that penetrate the deepest depths of your passions, and outcomes that capture quintessential expressions of your talents. Be strong. Take courage. Hold steadfast to these principles, regardless of the cost. Commit your time and energy to creating the maximum positive impact for yourself, the people you love, and the world around you. This is only goal that matters. I know that now. And while I do not know where my path to greatness will lead me, for the first time in my life, I know exactly how to get there.

Cheers, Happy Reading

Gagan Malhotra