I don't know.

You're stuck in a job that you no longer find rewarding. Maybe you're ready for a career change. Maybe your circumstances at work have significantly changed and your job has been made redundant. You're considering something different but have no idea what else you could do - or where to start. You're feeling overwhelmed with a storm of emotions due to uncertainty and the only thing you know is that you don't know. These words I DON'T KNOW feel daunting. They make you feel uncomfortable and often increase your anxiety to the extent that you may feel paralysed.

The thing is not knowing is not a pleasant place to be in, especially when something important to us is at stake. We might be harsh on ourselves by telling ourselves that we should know, thus increasing our levels of frustration and disappointment, which can hold us back from taking actions.

• When did you stop knowing?

A change in your career has prompted you to think more carefully about a career shift but very often the reality is certain things ceased to work for you way before you were pushed to?pay attention to your relationship with your work. When did your body start telling you enough was enough? When did you start doubting about your job or career direction? When did you realise that you were showing up just for money? What invited you to dream of a different career? When did you start losing your excitement or interest? When, where and with whom were you not you any longer? When did your transition anticipate the change? In which area of your life? These questions can help you take a more holistic approach to your career shift and give you the permission to unpack whatever is concealed behind the terrifying words I don't know. This approach is also brain friendly because it allows you to decrease the emotional activity in the amygdala (your limbic system) and activate your thinking, thus helping you tone down your anxiety.

• What did you expect when you still knew?
• What do you expect now?

Expectations are natural, you cannot avoid them. They are the predictions made by your brain based on your experience. It's interesting that the English word "expectation" comes from Latin words. "Ex" meaning "before" and "spect" meaning "to look". So, expectations are literally those ideas you have without looking. Expectations are influenced by the levels of the neurotransmitter dopamine. The expectations and the dopamine levels are set by experience and therefore don't reflect the value of the experience. It's possible that you feel disappointed by an experience in the present that delighted you in the past. The experience is the same, but the dopamine levels are different.

A career shift can be a deeply disruptive process. The degree of disruption varies according to the individual but it is a fact that all of us embark on a challenging journey. Transitions can be a very self-absorbed process. We tend to ask ourselves big philosophical questions such as Who am I? What am I here for? What's my purpose? What's my passion? Why would anyone pay attention to me? What do I have to offer? How do I get them seriously? This constant about "I" and "me" is what often can keep us trapped when it comes to the concept of value until we shift our focus to other people, and how they can benefit from our help. It is crucial that the expectations we have are based in reality rather than setting ourselves unrealistic expectations that are impossible to live up to. This can stop us engaging with the newness and uncertainty of reality if we keep hanging on to impossible or idealised expectations. If we have rigid expectations of how we should be, what we should be able to achieve or how things are going to be, these rigid expectations can cause problems, which could have been avoided. We often have very rigid expectations as a way of coping with the unknown and uncertainty. Rigid expectations may also be due to something hoped or wished for, which may become idealised. This can often be the case if there has been a great deal of hard work and effort to achieve the goal that was wished for. Having very rigid expectations can mean that if the reality doesn't meet these expectations it can feel like a major problem or failure, rather than just being different to what we expected.

• What source of information support your words I don't know?

One of your brain biases is the availability bias which describes the tendency to consider only information that is readily available in order to build conclusions. When you are at a crossroads and you don't know what to do you are only engaging with the fast system in your brain for problem solving and decision making. This system is fast, unconscious, automatic, error prone and usually used for everyday decisions. It's biased to believe, not to question. It's triggered by the context and environment you're in (for example your emotional mood). It leads you to jump to quick conclusions. This is why it can help you reach out to people you trust, join networking groups, connect with people who are on the other side of their career transition journey, work with a coach. Taking these actions can help you test your words I don't know and expand your range of sources of information, thus putting you in a more conscious, effortful and reliable place.

The "I don't know" place can be quite uncomfortable where something important like our career - and what it means to us - is at stake. Accepting to temporarily feel uncomfortable can help us envision new possibilities, offering the words I don't know a totally different meaning.

#uncertainty #change #careershift #careerchange #transitions