I don't have time for this...

"You know who I admire? The person who will sit alone in the silence and enjoy it. No TV, No Phone, No Computer, No Writing, No Reading, Nothing. Just "alone" enjoying."

Picture that grandma in the rocking chair, on the front porch, of an old small farmhouse, in the middle of no where, humming a tune and smiling. Just enjoying the quiet.

Our family moved to Kansas a few months ago, and we got plugged into a Church here. They offer a 10 week study where we dive into a few areas of life in small groups.

The group we were plugged into was with 4 other couples. 1 couple is married with 8 kids oldest getting married, 1 couple is married with 4 kids, most adopted, 1 couple married with 6 kids oldest in middle school, one couple seriously dating and live an hour from each other and then there is us... Married 1 child in elementary school.

We all have our different lives. In different walks in life, all in different situations and honestly the first day we all met, I thought to myself... whoa, these aren't our people... we don't have anything in common with most of them except that we are married, or a couple.

So as the weeks go by and we share more and more... we all kind of realize... we're more common than we thought.

Tonight... as part of the course... we were to do a 3 hour prayer experience. Ok... This is going to be different. 3 hours... oh boy this is going to be ROUGH. I don't have time for this.

And it was... at first. We all got there after our busy days, some of us late, some of us early, some of us beyond the stressed out point, some of us blissfully unaware of what was to come, some of us excited/nervous/anxious... but we all dove in.

We started by setting the tone, listening to a couple scriptures to get engaged. We then started sharing what we were wanting to pray for and if there was anything we were trying to get answers on. And then we, as a group, prayed for each other. And it all was kinda the going through the motions type feel... a little stirring of the heart feeling here and there, but mostly just... let's get this over with.

Then we all went our separate ways for an hour. We had full access to the entire church and we were to go some place no one else was and be alone. For an Hour.

Alright... here we go. Not sure what to do here, but I'll try.

We had a framework but we were instructed to let the time go where it goes.

So I picked a spot in the big worship auditorium, off to the side. My husband was in there too but way up at the top on the other side. I sat down, I opened my book, and kinda looked for something that stood out. Then sat there, looking at all the chairs and thinking... There is no rhyme or reason to the color pattern of the different chairs and they are bolted into the ground.. could they have done, gray, tan, brown, light grey, gray, tan, brown, light grey... etc... But no, instead they had to go gray, gray, brown, light grey, grey, tan, tan, brown, light grey...etc... And that is just in this row.... that row is completely different... what the heck.

Ha. I was letting my mind go where it wanted alright. ;)

Then I looked at the frame work again and it gave Psalm 138.. Ok. I'll start there.

Then BAM... the water works started.... something in there hit straight to my heart and I broke. I sat there crying for a few minutes more, happy tears mind you... crying for no apparent reason other than I read something that moved me. And I sat back, closed my eyes.. and fell asleep.....

No I didn't fall asleep.. just seeing if you're still with me here.

I sat back, closed my eyes, and just sat there. In that silence. Smiling.

Then these words came into my head, and this picture of an old lady on a porch, in a rocking chair... came to my mind.

And I opened my book and went to the back inside cover and wrote...

You know who I admire? The person who will sit alone in the silence and enjoy it. No TV, No Phone, No Computer, No Writing, No Reading, Nothing. Just "alone" enjoying.

In that moment, I re-read the words, closed my book, closed my bible, put my pen away. I sat there and just sat there.

Then I imagined Jesus, sitting next to me and we were just chatting. Started with... weird pattern of the chairs, huh? HA! Yes!

A little more back and forth and he said go down there and stand. I told him, I can't do that, that will distract my husband over there. He'll wonder why I'm walking around. And in true back and forth convo...

Ok... Are you watching him? ... No.... Ok. What if he's so into his thing that it doesn't matter what you do, he won't notice... Ohhhhh, good point. Ok. So I stood up, grabbed my pile of stuff and walked down to where he "pointed to."

I was going to walk a little farther and I heard a noise coming from over in the corner behind a half wall.. it was our group leader and pastor. Whoops, I don't want to disturb him either... Ha, what did I just tell you??... Oh yeah, he's doing his thing.

I sit there for a minute, trying to figure out why I can't be back at my seat. And he says.. Ok, let's go for a walk, you up for that?... Sure...

So I set my things down back where we started the night with the group and I start walking around. imagining Jesus is walking right next to me. He asks, What questions do you have?

I had a lot. Family questions, friends questions, questions about clients, questions about prospects, questions about me, questions about Him...

Then I had to go to the bathroom. Yes this really happened. Funny.. I think. As I walked into the bathroom He goes... Ok.. I'll give you your privacy and I walked into the stall shut the door and he started talking to me from outside the stall door, his back was leaned against the door and he was just casually asking questions. Ha, lol... I couldn't really hear what he was saying because I was giggling at how funny this whole thing was.

So I washed my hands, and giggled a bit more at myself in the mirror and we started walking the Halls again. Just wonderous, casual conversation.

And I asked Him... What do you want from me? You have given me soooo much... What can I give to you?

His response... All I want you to do... is talk about me to others. You don't even have to use my name, just talk about the experiences. I responded... Ok... well, that's all fine and dandy, I enjoy doing that, but how do I do that and get paid? He said... I already have that worked out and always will... All you have to do is talk about me. Oh... and let's have more conversations like this... this is fun.

Awesome... Ok. So we walked a little bit more, talked a little bit more and then I went back into the auditorium and sat in a chair, right were he had brought me down to. I leaned forward with my arms and head rested on the back of the one in front of me.

And my mind went completely silent. And I smiled. I don't know how much longer later, I woke up... for real this time I fell asleep. And luckily... and i'm just seeing this right now... our leader was in the corner near where that spot was and the noise of him cleaning up his stuff woke me up.

I walked back out to the group, a little confused, and dazed from the snooze, but relaxed more than a day long massage. We all gathered again and we started to discuss our experience... the flow of conversation was incredible. All that stress and anxiety we had brought it... was gone.

Through our discussion, which I'll keep details private out of respect, We realized each of us struggles with the same things. And some of us have learned to deal with it, some us haven't but are trying. And we all became a little closer, and a little calmer. We laughed harder than we ever have before on the most bizzare but hilarious things. We all opened up and shared things that most don't really have space for anywhere else.

And wow... the refreshing and relaxing after-effect.

2 big take aways I found in the experience...

NEVER assume the next person you meet is too unlike you. You might find you need each other.

And that you have the time. You have time to enjoy the silence. It might just be the very thing you were searching for.