No, I don't ball: Addressing inherent bias while being a Black man

I love free drinks! The only time I partake in libations is when it's on someone else's dime. Does that make me a cheapskate? Maybe, but I become accustomed to this way of life thanks to my college days.

After every big game the Mizzou Tigers football team won, the college town bars stayed lit! Standing at 6 foot and four inches tall, 225 lbs at the time, athletically built, without failure, when I would go out and celebrate the victory, I always received celebrity like treatment from white guys at the bars. Why? They thought I was one of the football players. In fact, one time a guy even called me by my jersey number, 22.

And, guess what! When basketball season rolled around, yours truly, number 22, would get his drank on because the Mizzou basketball team won! Thanks fellas!

Now I get it...all Black guys, especially us dark brothas, who happen to be tall with broad shoulders---we have to be an athlete, right? To this day, I still receive comments like "Wow, you're pretty tall. You must have been one hell of a ball player!" or "Man, Louis! What position did you play?"

These questions and statements happen in business meetings, at the grocery store, or while pumping gas in my Jeep.

Taking matters further, these days it's not always white guys who assume I was an All American athlete---plenty of other Black men participate in the stereotyping as well.

My height and build would often allow me to get picked up when it came to pick-up games of basketball at the recreational center. Those team captains were in for a surprise. I SUCK at sports! The only thing I was good at doing is setting picks and a top of the key three-pointer when I am not being defended. Ask me to dribble...game over. Ask me to run a motion offense....WTF is that?

My athleticism stops at high intensity interval training (HIIT), lifting weights, and leisure rides thru midtown Kansas City on my mountain bike.

I recall at one point feeling somewhat ashamed for not being more athletic---it's kinda expected when you have a certain stature. When people would ask what sport I played or assumed I did play, I would often tell them---"No I didn't play basketball, BUT I ran track. I also played a little football."

Truth be told, I did run track in high school, but I sucked at that too! The only reason I went out for the track team was because as a horny teenage boy, I liked the idea of girls in spandex and being in close proximity. Terrible, I know!

As far as football, I practiced with some guys for three weeks when my high school was adopting a football program the summer before my senior year. The only play I could do was a fly route, which mostly required me to run a straight line, put my hand up, and not have to use my non existing lateral agility. I never caught the ball.

All this to say, no, I do not ball.

These days when asked "Did you ball in college?" my response is a quick "No. I went to school on a full-ride academic scholarship."

Now that I am a father who has two Black boys, both are tall, I see the cycle repeating itself. My oldest son is really tall and wiry for a five year old. My youngest is tall, but has broad shoulders like his daddy. Whenever out, we are bound to get a comment from someone saying, "Your boys are going to be some great ball players!" ---but I am quick to respond and tell the person, "...or they may own a sports franchise."

I guess I could answer the "Did you ball..." question with a simple no. I could also smile at other men who comment on my sons sizes and the inference to being future athletes. But I don't. I intentionally highlight the fact I received an academic scholarship because I want to do my part to change the narrative associated with Black men. That same intentionally pushes me to say my boys may become owners of a franchise rather than a player because people need to see young Black boys as more than athletes, entertainers, or criminals.

This is no attempt to diss or belittle those of us who are athletes or aspire to be. Just know that we, Black men, can be so much more than what some may assume.

All of this assumption about me being an athlete comes back to something we all face daily, bias. This particular form of bias is what Howard Ross of Cook Ross, Inc. calls destructive uses of positive biases.

Destructive uses of positive biases happens when we place unrealistic expectations on a person from a particular group because of a positive bias we have about "that group of people." This is why Chinese people are perceived to be good at math and science; Indigenous Americans are perceived to be in tune with nature; or why Black people are perceived to be good athletes.

Like all forms of inherent bias, destructive uses of positive bias is fed by the stereotypes woven into our social construct. While many stereotypes are formed from some truth, often that truth is skewed and not deeply expanded upon.

I know a lot of Black men who are gifted with natural athletic ability. I also know a lot of Black men who are philosophers and geniuses within their own right. In order for us to shift destructive uses of positive biases to the constructive form, we have to elevate the perceived social normalization, assumption, and stereotype surrounding particular groups of people.

The world needs to see the likes of LeBron James, Patrick Mahomes, and other amazing Black athletes. At the same time, we need to elevate the likes of Robert F. Smith, Tristan Walker, or Dave Steward to become household names the way white business leaders and entrepreneurs are.

I often speak to young Black boys and inquire about their aspirations. Many state they want to be an athlete or play in some sports league. Others state they want to be a rapper. Very few say they want to own a business, be an investor, study engineering, be the first to Mars, direct movies, be a sound designer, invent technology, or a whole list of other professions. This, I believe, is because they do not see people that look like them in a prominent light within these varying roles or within their community. But, we do exist.

When it comes to white boys, it's rare I hear them proclaim they want to be an athlete or play in the league. The ones I have encountered state typical professions such as lawyer, doctors, business owner, etc. When it comes to the arts, they want to be a photographer, CGI animator, or design video games. They see those types of careers and the possibilities of what they could achieve prominently within their community.

I am not surprised by my experience during college when the white guys assumed I was an athlete, insisting on buying me drinks for a job well done on the field. It comes from the same place as the police officers who stopped me and my buddies freshman year and demanded we show them our student identification cards, yet the group of white guys just a few steps of ahead of us, the officers let them pass. It also comes from the same place of the nervous smile I am greeted with when passing by some white people in public. There is also the infamous purse clutch or the embrace of protection some white men give their spouse. Oh, we can't forget the comments given by older white people who say I am so well spoken and articulate. I've even been told that my community must be really proud of me.

All of it is deep rooted inherent bias, which is associated with the racial dynamics ingrained in our current society. It is all a learned behavior perpetuated by everyone.

That said, no, I do not ball.

I would love to hear your thoughts. What type of destructive uses of positive biases have you encountered? Do you think I should have turned down the drinks? Leave your thoughts in the comments.

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Louis Byrd is also Chief Visionary Officer at Goodwim Design, a culture and design consultancy helping organizations stimulate inclusive experiences and bold solutions people will find whimsical, thoughtful, and simply—dope.