I Don Juanna

The frustration grows in my chest and hands

Which is odd when one considers the source

If only she knew me, she would understand

My whole life is a continuous tale of remorse

I open my mouth with the best of intentions,

Planning to compliment her sparkling eyes

Yet I talk of body parts it's wrong to mention

And how I wish she would spread her legs wide

Her legs, I think. are quite smooth and sensual

But I won't see them when wrapped 'round my waist

And if you think my talk is too crude and too sexual

Well, it's been a year since I have found myself chaste

Like a knight I will rush in to save a damsel

Like that lady on the stairs who started to trip

And you all saw her breasts were quite a handful

So they were the best place for me to get a grip

Oh I beg that she give me least one more chance

It will soon be a year now since I have been laid

And I regret the conversation as we did dance

But with a body like that she deserves to be paid

Well, I understand if she says we are through

After all, I was certainly no dashing Don Juan

It was likely wrong to cover her in personal goo

Under the table, at dinner, by pulling my schlong