I do (n’t) want your freedom

If you are a fan of 80s pop music, you will enjoy the documentary on Netflix titled ‘Wham!’ It is the story of the iconic British band that contributed to the sound of the 80s, along with stars like Madonna, Prince, and Michael Jackson.

The documentary essentially tells the story of two best friends from school who met when they were 11 and 12 respectively and went on to form the band in 1982, their meteoric rise to fame, and their subsequent, amicable breakup by 1986.

As with any story that belongs to someone else, we can never truly know what goes on inside the minds of others, but here are five takeaways that I had from this wonderful walk down memory lane of a much-beloved band.

1. We are stronger when we collaborate.

Although George Michael was considered the face/force behind the band, he was actually the more shy and reticent of the two members of the original duo. It was Andrew Ridgeley’s vision and drive that got the band off the ground, a fact that George acknowledges in their farewell concert: that he could never have done this without his friend and partner.

2. Ambition, or a hyper-focus on outcomes, perfection, goals, and milestones, gives us some success, but it often comes at a huge price.

George masked his sexuality, never rested, and was eaten up with a desire to hit many extrinsic milestones – to reach number one, sell a certain number of records, win awards, and gain recognition … without understanding that many of these outcomes were not in his hands.

3. Oftentimes, these can prevent us from enjoying what could be the most memorable moments of our lives.

Spoiler alert??George was so desirous of his song 'Last Christmas' hitting number one, and that event escaped him because another song that he was featured on, which served a much greater cause, made it to number one that Christmas week. It was a massive privilege for him to be asked to sing on that recording, but all George could feel was the impending sense of doom, that his personal song would not top the charts.

Double spoiler alert ????- the song finally hit number one in 2020, several years after his death. Was there a certain futility to that manic chase?

4. You can model certain behaviour that you believe the world finds desirable or acceptable, but you cannot deny your essential nature.

Pretending to be a heterosexual pinup and being constantly in the public eye were taking a huge toll on both young boys. A certain narrative was crafted around their public image, and living up to that was very effortful and eventually led to the breakup of the band at the peak of their fame.

5. What we want more than anything is to be seen, loved, and accepted.

Despite all the money and fame, one of George’s most poignant moments was being recognised as a songwriter of worth by a jury of his peers. In his personal life, too, George’s search for self-expression and love sent him down several tortuous paths, arguably because he had never learned how to be himself and ask for what he wanted and needed.

So there you have it ~ some life lessons that I drew (very subjectively) from this documentary. Watching it took me back to those years. I remember the sense of awe and wonder of a child watching her first music videos and discovering the delight that music could bring. I relived the nights when I would stay up to watch shows that featured Wham and other artists (does anyone remember 'Hot Tracks' on DD in India?)

We can savour these memories and moments, remind ourselves of our childlike selves, and allow our most intrinsic personalities to be expressed. This is something we can do at any point in our lives. It’s never too late. I have been singing Wham! songs non-stop since the evening I watched the documentary. I know my kids are wishing that particular side had never been awakened! ??????