I do not agree!

In the words of one of my favourite soul singers, Gregory Porter…I do not agree…

When you’re running a small expanding business, you need to be confident that you and your partners are on the same page. That you are aligned in your values, approach and goals. That you are on parallel pathways. Because decisions need to be made together and in some instances … quickly.

Quite simply, you need to be working perfectly in tandem and harmony.

But what happens when you fall out of kilter? When you disagree so strongly that you can’t (or won’t) understand each other’s viewpoint which becomes an obstacle to decision making and brings the wheels of your precious empire to a standstill?

An ineffective tactic I often hear is to simply repeat to their partner that they are wrong, their idea doesn’t work, their concept will never take off, the product will fail.?

Does that change their mind?

Absolutely not!

Will it irritate and fuel the conflict?

Absolutely yes!

Why? Just because you’ve repeatedly explained your opinion, often quite emphatically, does not mean there is enough empirical evidence for them to suddenly change their mind with a show of ‘high fives’ validating your great idea!

So where do you start? Here are 6 steps to help you navigate the dialogue so you can focus your energy back on the business and not waste time back and forth convincing each other you are right which quite frankly will never work!

1. Active listening: Start the conversation by actively listening to your business partner's perspective and concerns. Give them space and time to express their idea WITHOUT interruption. This demonstrates respect and openness to their point of view. Allowing others to be heard is one of the easiest ways to diffuse tension and bring calm to a heated discussion. At this point they will be more likely to listen back. Remember listening to them doesn’t mean you agree with them.?
2. Seek common ground: Look for areas of agreement or mutual goals. Emphasize shared objectives to create a foundation for the conversation. This reinforces the reasons why you set the business up and pushes negativity away. By highlighting common factors, you can shift the focus and tone to a more collaborative, positive and trusting one,?even if you disagree on certain points.
3. Launder your language: When you vehemently disagreeing, it’s easy to jump in using language that is both unhelpful and disrespectful. Avoid blaming, criticising or attacking your business partner. This will simply put their back up and a sure way to fuel a heated debate further. Instead, focus on the facts (not on them so it doesn’t feel like a personal critique).?Present your arguments logically, and provide supporting evidence or examples to back up your claims.
4. Empathize and validate their perspective: Acknowledge your business partner's viewpoint and demonstrate empathy. Even if they are mistaken, recognizing their feelings and acknowledging their perspective can help them feel heard and valued which will diffuse tension and set the tone for them to listen back. This paves the way for a more productive conversation.
5. Invite curiosity: Even if you don’t agree with their opinion or idea in its entirety, consider if there are any areas or nuggets in there that are worthy of exploration.?Raise these and be curious how you could expand on them. Offer your insights or propose different approaches that could address the issue at hand. This shows an openness and willingness from you to find mutually beneficial resolutions rather than shutting down the ideas from the get go.
6. Collaboration and Problem-Solving: Instead of approaching the dialogue as a battle of conflicting views, reframe it as an opportunity for change and not challenge. Encourage brainstorming and open conversations to find creative solutions that address both your concerns and your partner's. By fostering a sense of collaboration, you can create a more positive and productive atmosphere that promotes understanding, collaboration and agreement.

Remember, the goal of managing the conversation with a business partner who (in your opinion) is wrong is not to prove them wrong but to find a mutually beneficial solution or compromise. Approach the conversation with professionalism, respect, and a willingness to listen and understand.