The "I Didn't Win Face"

I could see the awards on the table – all shiny and glittering under the lights in the beautiful function suite where the ceremony was being held. I stood with my friends, waiting for things to get going, imagining carrying one of the awards home with me at the end of the night – its’ cold, smooth, sleek shape wrapped carefully wrapped in my scarf to keep it safe.

I’ve never really been fussed about awards. I mean – I have been to lots of awards ceremonies in the years I have worked and run businesses in the insurance industry, but it’s just never occurred to me to enter awards, or that I would be nominated for one. It’s not that I’m not competitive – I really am. I’ve always been very driven and I have an inherent desire to be the best, in all that I do.

When I heard that I had been nominated for an award in the Women in Insurance Awards, I was surprised, delighted and genuinely thought that I didn’t mind at all about winning. I was proud to find out I had been shortlisted and just looking forward to enjoying a nice evening.

And then I saw the awards sitting on the table. And I really wanted one. I wanted the recognition and the beautiful shiny award. I had my speech all ready......

But not this time – I was not a winner. The women who won in each category are fabulous, worthy winners- all of them. I shed a few tears at some of their stories and felt pride at being up there in this awesome company.

My partner asked me today if I was upset about not winning. I have reflected on it and I have realised that I’m not. I know that it doesn’t mean that I’m not good enough to win. I know it doesn’t mean that my work and my achievements are not recognised. It just meant that someone else was chosen this time. And I’m absolutely ok with that. I know if I want to win next time I have to apply, I have to try hard, I have to carry on doing all the things that I do best.

Do I want to win next time? Course I do :)

With love x