"I didn't get the Job"

As the subject line of this email suggests, after following up with the agency recruiter THREE TIMES, he finally called the person at xxxxxx to see whether or not I would be invited back for a second interview. The answer is "no", of course - but there is no feedback as to why. He says that he'll forward any that's forthcoming - but I doubt he's going to make much effort to find out any.

I am in two states about this information. Naturally, the first is a disappointment in not getting the job, but there is also a sneaking relief too. If offered the job I would have had no choice but to accept it. I need the work/money, and I cannot be too fussy about whom I work for. But I think the way this interview process has gone, with its shifting goals, unreasonable requests for consultation pieces, the lack of gratitude for the amount of work so far done (for free), the inflexible way the interview was conducted (leaving me only 4 minutes to ask any questions I may have), and the utter lack of humour shown throughout (the list continues, but the point is already made): I cannot help but think that I would not have been very happy working with and for such people. I would have liked the job (and been exceptionally good at it, I believe), but I don't think I would have wanted to work with such uncaring individuals.

Still, this leaves me in the invidious position of having to go to work, to receive all day, God-awful training, in a room which has more than its fair-share of sycophants for a dreadfully low wage, for an organisation I do not want to represent (i.e. Vxxx xxxxia) operating a goddamn telephone. Surely I studied at university for a better life than this, right?

I'm feeling increasingly like the mating salmon... thrashing hard to get upstream, avoiding the bears and other predators, not really getting the benefit of the female fish around, and finally/ultimately, only to find myself floundering and gasping when I reach the summit of my journey. What the hell am I doing with my life? What can I do to make it better than it is?  It's a pretty good life, overall. Good children, reasonable health, and just enough money to live on without having to beg. But somehow it is all rather less than satisfying. I'm open to suggestions outside of "you must find a better job".