I Cried at Work. I Was Embarrassed.

by Vasundhara Sawhney, Senior Editor

Ten years ago, on what could’ve been a perfect Friday evening, my boss shamed me in front of my entire team. “Isn’t this something we discussed a few months ago? Why wasn’t the protocol followed?” he screamed. We were discussing a critical project that used one of our new workflows. My direct reports looked away embarrassedly (or stared in silence).

Angry and humiliated, I excused myself from the meeting and charged toward the elevator. I made the trip five floors down to the parking lot. Then I sat in my car and cried.

A manager once told me that how we handle our emotions at work, especially the negative ones, is a sign of our professionalism. Crying, I thought, should be avoided at all costs.

It was a terrible day, but since then, I’ve become a bit more worldly. I’ve observed how other people manage their emotions in challenging situations and I’ve learned that my original assumptions were wrong.

I’ve learned that crying — or showing any strong emotion at work — can be a double-edged sword. While it may feel uncomfortable to be vulnerable in the moment, when we are honest and open about our feelings, we become more human to the people around us. Our emotions aren’t something that we should shame ourselves for experiencing. Good or bad, we can’t check them at the door the moment we walk into an office.

Think about it: We smile when a colleague compliments our presentation skills. We feel upset when we lose a client. We get excited about achieving our goals. We feel bored during never-ending meetings. According to one study , the most common emotions experienced at work are difficult ones: frustration, nervousness, anger, and dislike.

Still, there continues to be a stigma around sharing them (especially for women). Crying is interpreted as “weakness.” Anger signals you are “unhinged.” And frustration is too often deemed “inappropriate.”

So, what do you do the next time a feeling shows up for you — particularly a challenging one — at work??Watch this video to learn more: [Video] Christine vs. Work: What Difficult Emotions Are Trying to Tell You by Christine Liu.

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