I "Can't"...

“I can’t” is a bad word in my household. 

I have two amazing little girls. Florence (4) and Pearl (2) Murphy. 

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They constantly amaze me… they are so smart. They have endless amounts of energy, multiple impromptu dance sessions per day, sing at the top of their lungs (that needs some work if I’m honest), yell “I love you” to all of our neighbors, belly laugh until they cry… literally cry, it’s ALL the emotions, and somehow still find time to paint my toenails when I’m not looking. 

Last night Florence wanted to show me something. “Dad, I got you a surprise!” With her lack of purchasing power, this usually means she wrapped up a pair of my wife’s earrings, daddy’s socks, or if we’re lucky a T.V. remote that has been missing for several months. 

But this time she took my hand and we went to the garage. 

In the garage, she showed me a BIG box. (side note: the box was full of Christmas decorations but that is beside the point) She proceeded to try and pick up the box and present it to me. After many attempts, she looked at me in frustration and said: “ I can’t do it!”. She sat down with a frustrated and defeated look on her face. 

Then I said, as I often do “we don’t say that word… what do we need to do when we “can’t” do something?” to which she promptly replies, “we ask for help”. 

While I did eventually get the amazing gift of my own Christmas decorations, ha, and a daughter with an ear to ear grin when she saw how happy I was that I LOVED my surprise… it made me pause. 

I’ve spent most of my life proving I can “do it”. Only to find out I can’t… well, I can’t do it by myself. 

One of the most powerful gifts I’ve ever been given in my career was the reminder that it’s completely okay to ask for help. To sit in a space where “can’t” doesn’t exist because we’ve taken the time to explore what it will take even if it’s a moon shot. 

Can you imagine if Martin Luther King Jr., Orville, and Wilbur Wright, Amelia Earhart, Neil Armstrong, Marie Curie, Nelson Mandela… said: “I can’t”?

I “can’t” either. 

Parastoo Emami

Parenting Coach for Highly Sensitive Children | Empowering Families to Celebrate Sensitivity as a Strength | Expert in Somatic Techniques to Regulate the Nervous System | Advocate for Highly Sensitive People

1 个月

Marcus, appreciate you for sharing this!

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Jenny Johnston

Helping businesses achieve a competitive edge through professional visual communication and printing using my years of experience. | Logo Design | Brochures | POS | Branding | Printing | Flyers | Business Cards | Banners

2 年

Marcus, thanks for sharing!

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Joan Veronica T.

Agency Leader, Honor Club Qualifying Level, Pinnacle Club Wealth Specialist

2 年

Great article! Makes me want to teach my kids that we shouldn't use those words, too.

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Dan Marca

Right of Way Agent | Sales | Real Estate | Valuation | Accounting

5 年

Great article, thank you! I invite you to read the book "The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse...a great short story about being kind, asking for help. All four represent different parts of the same person. Here is a short write up?https://www.theguardian.com/books/2019/nov/09/boy-mole-fox-horse-christmas-bestseller-charlie-mackesy

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Craig Fairfield, MBA

Managing Director at WAX Healthcare Marketing

5 年

When the little people in our lives say, "I can't," my wife often reframes it as, "You can't? Or, you won't?" That's a good distinction. We also sometimes say, "It's not that you can't, you just can't yet." Great article and reminder that we all need help sometimes.?

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