I can't have "mental toughness" delivered?!

No. You can't.

It turns out that you can't buy mental toughness on Amazon, you won't find it on the street somewhere, and it sure can't be delivered and it requires so much more soul searching of yourself than even I was prepared for...and this is where my post begins.

I've talked a little bit about the start of introducing exercise into my world and running has been quite the addition to it. My trainer encouraged me last year to sign up for what he calls the 100 Miles in 100 Days Challenge. The intent of this challenge is just to get people moving, doesn't matter if you walked it, ran it, cycled, rowed, any of it.

I joined the 100 Miles in 100 Days challenge and I started walking around my lawn (because yes, I counted that), up and down the street, then around the town I lived which turned into miles, and then suddenly I started trying to run.

Since then, I signed up and redeemed myself for the trash excuse of an attempt of a 5k back in 2013 where I actually put forth the effort and work I needed to complete it. Shortly afterward, I found myself still running and this year have scraped the 100 Miles in 100 Day challenge and opted for a year-long challenge. My goal? 2500 miles by the end of the year.

Unfortunately at the start of the year, I had to stop running due to some health issues and sat idle long enough to realize that I couldn't continue to allow the things I couldn't control to affect those that I could. I also realized that when I run, I feel no pain and all my frustrations, anxieties, stress wither away so I picked it back up.....full speed. Somewhere in between all of this, I decided to sign up for my first half marathon. And so I've been training for this, despite all the health nonsense going on. I also recognize that right now and in the last week, I have very much been in the lull of my training and am writing this for me to remember but also for those who have been following the journey and believe that I have some inspiring words, sometimes.

For those of you who are like me and have always had aspirations of being a runner, or are thinking about running a half marathon, I'll share the things I've learned along this journey (that still is very much ongoing):

1. Just get up and go. I often will go to sleep in my running clothes and when the alarm goes off, I dramatically throw myself out of bed (not even kidding) and just go. I prefer to run in the morning so that I can get it done and set my day right, but you do what works best for you. Rain, shine, or snow, it doesn't matter. Remember to adjust your mindset. Even before you go to bed, it will help! (Here's me Monday, 8/16 at 5:55 AM after doing my scheduled conversation pace run of 2.5 miles)
2. Find your people. For me, it comes from a couple of different sources. The first is simply the people whom I follow and who follow me on Apple Activity. Seems super basic but you'd be surprised how much it does inspire, build you up, and just remind you that you got this. While I often will send my friends one of the templated responses, I know, for example, that before Lorrie runs, she gets in a brisk walk and she has been working on hills lately so I will typically respond to push her. Or maybe that another friend had to take a pause because they were injured and seeing them get back into it and letting them know that I see them offers words of encouragement. On the flip side, I know that if Sarah can get in her 18 miles on a Sunday (per her running plan), me complaining about having to do seven miles seems a little ridiculous and I know I can do it. They also know that if they aren't getting activity dings from me, something is going on. I don't have people on my activity that I don't speak with and vice versa because support is needed on both sides. The other source is an actual run group, Team Compete. A group of all different level runners whom all support one another. While I haven't been able to attend many of the group runs, I have started and will continue to because the support is rad. It also set me up with coaches that gave me plans to follow, guidance, and everything in between. I even have coworkers that have done this sort of thing, at small or larger capacities or are even on their own journeys where we inspire one another. This then spills over into Strava. I follow people I know and people that I don't know who inspire me. It's so incredibly important to celebrate your wins when you have them and stay away from those who bring negativity (not to be confused with tips, feedback, etc.).
3. Set realistic expectations with yourself. I'm still working on this one. The expectations I set on myself are higher than anyone else could ever have and the disappointment that I have in myself for not achieving said goals can be soul-crushing at times. Some people can randomly wake up one day, decide that they want to be a runner, and are just naturally good at it. I'm not that person. I have to remind myself often that I only just started this journey last year, and for the half (in a true committed plan) for about five full weeks now. One of the things my coach said to me at the beginning was to celebrate the small wins because they are actually much bigger than you're giving them credit for. When I first started, I couldn't run without my heart rate skyrocketing or stopping within ten feet, and while I'm working on pacing myself with consistency, last week I ran a 9:15/mile for the first time in my life. Somewhere in here is also the advice to not compare yourself to others. Don't do it, it's a slippery, thankless, ridiculous slope.
4. It's okay to walk. This is kind of a continuation of #2. It really is okay to walk! You'd be surprised how many people do it, even the best runners I've met say it. Someday maybe I'll get to a point where I won't need to in a two-mile run but for now, I try focusing on that thing I mentioned at the top that you can't have delivered or buy mental toughness. It's found within by digging deep inside of yourself. It's the voice that offers a reminder of why you started in in the first place, that your body CAN indeed handle this run, you CAN go a little further, and that negative voice in your head (Deborah for me) won't leave BUT you can acknowledge it and set it aside to be dealt with when you want. The mental toughness has and continues to be what I struggle with the most because I just want to give up at times and get frustrated when I feel like I have to walk. To be clear, I'm not saying that it is not ok to walk, it definitely is ok. Sometimes to catch your breath, to lower your heart rate, etc.
5. Take your rest and listen to your body. If you don't then your body will make you.
6. Remember your WHY. Write it down, put it on the mirror, whatever you need to do, but don't lose sight of it. Most importantly, don't forget it because when it gets hard, breaking through the mental blockers and getting out there will be the hardest part, but it is so, so worth it. The why is what will help pick you back up when your time isn't as great as you think it should be, it is the voice that will say, "You still showed up. You still did this." I also know that for me, I finally found something I wanted to learn to do so bad that it was enough to quit smoking. I'm now just shy of 8 months from quitting smoking and each day that I get up to run is a step in the right direction. One where I don't think about the health issues that are plaguing my body or my thoughts, it's growth.
7. Don't get so distracted that you don't see what is right in front of you. Whether it is deer that are allowing you to walk up close to them, a bunch of turkeys and their babies, or maybe just to let the cool wind pass you.

I'm not a pro at this and have so much to learn but all of these are tips that I have also included into my professional world in some way over the years. Running is still quite easily the hardest thing I've ever decided I wanted to get good at but it has been one of the most rewarding thus far. The irony in all this is that I've had the mental toughness the entire time, I just didn't realize it.

And lastly, to those of you who have supported me and continue to support me through this journey, thank you. You're all the best!

Hopefully, my next post will be upon completing the half.