“I can’t do it!”

How often have you heard this from your young child, struggling to manipulate a shape into a specific hole in a toy.  Or an older child, struggling with her maths homework.  Or a relative, maybe your aged mother or father, struggling to get to grips with using a video recorder or computer or new phone.  It could even be in relation to a habit – “I just can’t stop smoking” or “No, I can’t pick up that spider…”

The problem is, the more often we say “I can’t do it!”, the more embedded and ingrained that inability becomes.  And suddenly that is the norm, being unable to do something.

I had a client, some years ago, who was adamant that he couldn’t use a computer program;  it wasn’t that he was ‘afraid’ of computers, it was that his knowledge was based on a different (albeit similar) program, one that he was really familiar with.  Come the day when his old machine failed, he got a shiny new iPad, and was faced with Apple’s versions of word processing and spreadsheets.  After a couple of half-hearted attempts at using the ‘new’ software, he gave up, and his previously fairly streamlined business started to show the cracks – he did the bare minimum he was able to do on the iPad, and simply didn’t bother with some of the bells and whistles that would have made his life so productive.   I was able to work with him and show what could be done, and how the effects of his ‘undone’ work were causing him significant losses in terms of both money and time – time that he could usefully invest learning to use the new software.  OK, it would take a little while, but then he’d be proficient.  Whereas if he did nothing, then his time and money losses would mount and mount.

Too many of us tend to assume that if we can’t do something, then we’ll never be able to do something.  In the case of habits, then a definite attitude of mind needs to be changed;  you can do it, but it does require some definite action.  It definitely helps if you have a real incentive (losing weight to fit into a wedding dress, preparing to fly to Australia to see your grandchildren, a very real health scare…) 

But beyond that it is the recognition that of course you can do it – whatever that ‘it’ may be.  After all, many hundreds, or thousands, or millions of other people can do it – so it can’t be that hard!  Unless there is a genuine physical reason – not too many one-legged amputees become gold-medal winning high-jumpers – the only thing stopping us from doing something is our own mindset.  And although this is one area where I can’t actually make things happen, I can help to create the space for you to try things out.  I can help to persuade you that you are no different to the millions of other people using, eg, Apple products, or speaking a foreign language, or doing maths, or standing up and speaking in public. 

If you can change that mindset from “I can’t do it…” to “I’ve never tried to do it…” or “at the moment I don’t see how to do it” then you have a fighting chance of being able to hurdle that challenge.  And if you need help in changing that mindset, or in encouraging you to see things from a different perspective, then I’m your man!

If I’ve encouraged you to broaden your horizons, to try something new or different – or if you feel it would be worthwhile having a brief, no-cost, no-obligation chat about any of the concepts here and discuss how they could generate value for you and your business – contact me on [email protected] or call 01522 700600, or check out the website for some further examples of how Refinity can provide benefits for you.

www.refinitycoaching.co.uk