“I CAN'T DO IT”

I was having a conversation with someone who was struggling a bit with the experience they were having. I can’t really recall any of the details of what we discussed, but I do remember there was a moment where everything seemed really hard and overwhelming for them, and they said, with some dismay,

“I can’t do it!”

And this is the problem.

We think that whatever “it” is, we have to do it.

Let’s rephrase that shall we, see if we can’t get a bit more clarity on it. Here we go:

The mind thinks that whatever “it” is, it has to do it.

??

Now, that’s quite a different proposition, isn’t it?

***

If we scale back a bit, we’ll see that this is so called “imposter syndrome” in a different guise… it’s innocently placing the ownership of our actions, decisions, achievements, and ‘failures’ on to an idea of who we are (or how we should be).

Making out like “we” (ego) are making these things happen, through sheer force of will.

?? But what if the mind’s not doing any of it?

?? What if… life’s living you, moving you, breathing you, and then the mind is overlaying a narrative on top of what it observes?

?? What if… it’s the very notion that “you,” (the R.E.C. or Reader Ego Construct ??) have to do “it” that is keeping you stuck from moving on?

[Oh, I know. Tedious, isn’t it?! “Giles - stop this, it’s not helping!” … said a mind ?? Hey, it’s a Sunday, ok? I get to bring out the big guns at the weekend ??]

***

Let’s bring it a little closer to home, with an example: the regular writing deadlines I face; be they the monthly articles I write for the Focus Magazine, or these posts.

It’s all become easier over time. And quicker over time. I’m way more likely to be able to just sit down and knock something out, whereas before I used to think about it all in advance. A lot!

Now, from the outside it looks like I’ve just got more experience and I’ve got used to doing it. That it’s all skills-based. That I’ve gained confidence. That I’m managing my processes better.

(I can assure you, the last one of those is not a thing ??)

But I’ve seen it’s something deeper than that.

Here’s what I think is going on:

Over time, I’ve gathered my own evidence that it’s not “me” (i.e. “Giles” or the G.E.C. ??) doing any of it. It can’t – it’s an illusion!

And that’s why it’s become easier. Because it just makes sense to me to place less and less responsibility on to my Thought System to do any of this stuff.

In simple, practical terms, it means not worrying about things that seem hard… and getting a whole load of time and energy back, as a result. And of course I have more of an experience of being connected to wisdom & intuition: it’s easier to hear.

Does ego still think it’s in charge, and offer “helpful” (i.e. massively judgemental, largely negative, fear-based) suggestions?

Hell yeah!

Do I follow that thinking with my attention?

No. That’s what’s changed.

When it comes to doing anything new or hard, the mind/left brain narrator still jumps in with insecurity, but I know it’s doing that only because it thinks *it’s* responsible for completing the task… when it’s not.

So I don’t pay it any attention.

Other than being kind to it, of course. You could say I show “self-compassion.”

It’s doing its best. It’s just a got a vastly over-inflated notion of what its job is.

In reality, life’s calling the shots. Life’s in charge of inspiration and creativity and fresh new ideas and motivation and possibility and purpose and productivity… and ego’s just along for the ride.

????♂?

Giles

p.s. I’m often asked, “What on earth is the point of the left brain narrator then?” and my answer is usually something along the lines of “I don’t know, I’m not an Evolutionary Anthropologist!” So just now I asked Chat GPT a carefully phrased question, and if I remember, I'll swing by and leave a link to the transcript of its answer in the comments. ??