I Can’t Control That

This Week's Summary:

Learned: Judging yourself

Planning: Commander’s Intent

Business idea: Get feedback

Vet Opp: Google Cloud training

I met: STS Lighting

Stoic Quote of the Week

You can hold your breath until you turn blue, but they'll still go on doing it.

-Marcus Aurelius

What I learned this week:

Helping people is one of my passions and the driving force that led me to do what I do as a leadership coach and the primary focus of Tribe + Purpose. It’s what we do each and every day to help people become better leaders. It is a task that we work on ourselves. Leadership is about helping others succeed. It isn’t about the glory of your own success, and anyone that I would call a leader would never look for their own glory. A leader looks for their team’s glory and recognition. Helping people isn’t always easy and exciting. I have anywhere from 5-15 conversations each week with clients, and not all of them are cut-and-simple solutions like doing this thought exercise. It will help you come up with a solution or do this, and you will be successful. Some are much deeper and don’t have a solution. Some are sad and frustrating for my client and me. One of the burdens that I deal with is the unsolvable problem, not a perpetual problem, an unsolvable one. An unsolvable problem can only be cured through acceptance by the person who says it is a problem. This type of problem almost always involves people and relationships with people in some form or fashion. This is because we have a vision for what we think should happen. We also have a human belief that everyone should like us. Those two things create problems when dealing with others. I find it ironic how we develop these beliefs in ourselves and expect others to follow along. When someone doesn’t abide or, even worse, doesn’t like us, we wear that as a failure as a human, almost like we let that person down. The burden becomes negative thoughts about ourselves and our ability to lead. We judge ourselves on that metric, a metric that is completely out of our control. Because we do that, we weigh ourselves down with the burden of guilt and failure. We cannot lead anyone, including ourselves, when we lead with guilt and failure in our minds. When this happens, someone quits or gets mad at you for something you had no control over; you must break the cycle of that belief. There is a solution there, and most of the time, that solution is to accept the situation as it is and not waller on you being the failure. A change in attitude and belief to accept the situation as it is. This is the only way that you can move forward to with a positive outlook.

Planning thought of the week:

A clear and concise mission is step one. Step two is an overview of how and the importance of the action. In the five-paragraph field order, we call this Commander’s Intent. It is a simple narrative that describes the overarching plan and how the plan helps achieve success. This isn’t the boss telling you how to suck the egg. This is about understanding the purpose behind the mission statement.

Business idea I heard about or thought of:

I stayed at a nice vacation resort last weekend for a keynote I did for a business group a friend of mine runs called ProCents. ProCents is one of those rare groups that isn’t about the quantity of people in attendance; it is about the quality of people in attendance and the connections being made. The event was great, and the venue is a place I’d recommend to others for a weekend getaway or a business retreat. I received an email from the resort this morning asking me to complete a survey and provide feedback. Truthfully, I’m about 50% on doing something like that. This was a little different because I had a bone to pick with them about one small thing. It reminded me how important it is to get feedback from our clients. Feedback can help you improve and help you attract new clients. Everyone wants some kind of proof that you can do what you say you can do. A resort that provides nice rooms, venues for events, and more. They need proof that their wedding venue is great. Their conference rooms are great. No one is going to spend tens of thousands of dollars on anything without proof that that thing can do what is advertised. It’s time to capture your own burden of proof. We do it with every person that goes through the Green Beret Leadership Program (GBLP) and have learned a ton and modified our course based on some of the feedback.

Veteran opportunity of the week:

Google is hosting a cloud training event 7 & 8 Nov to help Veterans get certified in Google Cloud operations and usage. The event is free and is a great way. Here is the link to sign up, Google Cloud .

Someone I met this week:

I had the great pleasure of meeting several people over the weekend at the ProCents tradeshow. One I’ll give a shout-out to is Dimitri Papadakis, Co-founder of STS Lighting. Dimitri had the burden or pleasure of being my cart partner in the ProCents golf tournament. I am not a golfer, and the hardware in my back makes it impossible to swing a club. But Dimitri put up with it and helped me out a lot by sharing his clubs with me a hack and always encouraging me and the others in our foursome with great thoughts. I don’t play golf often because I gave it up for hunting and fishing years ago. When I do play golf, it is great to play with someone who is there to have fun and enjoy the company. If you want to learn more about Dimitri’s company, here’s the link to their website, STS Lighting .

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