'I Can Show Up For Others But Not Show Up For Me'

In the world of helping professions, whether you're a social worker, counsellor, nurse, or caregiver, your primary focus is on supporting others. You're the one people turn to in times of need, relying on your expertise and compassion to guide them through their challenges. But what happens when you're the one in need of support?

When the weight of others' burdens becomes too heavy to bear, and you find yourself struggling to show up for yourself?

The Paradox of Helping Professions:

Working in a helping profession can be deeply rewarding. There's a sense of fulfilment that comes from making a positive difference in someone else's life, from being there for them when they need it most. However, this sense of fulfilment can sometimes come at a cost.

The very qualities that make you effective in your role – empathy, compassion, and dedication

– can also leave you vulnerable to burnout and compassion fatigue. Take the risk of burnout quiz here.

Putting Others First

As a certified 'helper,' it's natural to prioritise the needs of others above your own. After all, your job is to care for and support those who rely on you. You're accustomed to putting on a brave face, pushing through exhaustion, and giving everything you have to help others. But in the midst of caring for others, it's easy to neglect your own well-being, pushing aside your own needs in favour of those you serve.

The Struggle to Show Up for Yourself

Despite your dedication to helping others, you may find yourself struggling to show up for yourself. You might feel guilty for taking time for self-care, or you might worry that prioritising your own needs is selfish. You may even convince yourself that you don't deserve the same level of care and attention that you give to others. As a result, self-care often takes a backseat, leaving you feeling depleted and overwhelmed.

Navigating the Path to Self-Care

So, how can you navigate the delicate balance between caring for others and caring for yourself? It starts with recognising that self-care is not selfish – it's essential. Just as you wouldn't expect a car to run on empty, you can't expect yourself to function optimally without fuelling your own well-being. Self-care isn't just about bubble baths and massages (although those can certainly help), it's about prioritising your physical, emotional, and mental health on a daily basis.

In the helping professions, it's easy to prioritise the needs of others above your own. But neglecting your own well-being ultimately undermines your ability to effectively care for others. By prioritising self-care, setting boundaries, and seeking support when needed, you can ensure that you have the resilience and strength to continue making a positive impact in the lives of others. Remember, you can't pour from an empty cup – so take care of yourself first.

This week's Dear Social Worker podcast episode '7 Types of Rest You Need to Know About (Burnout Prevention)' delve into the often-overlooked aspect of rest that goes beyond simply sleeping or taking breaks.

????Listen this week's podcast episode HERE

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????Social Work Coaching Insights: Understanding and Overcoming Masking Type Behaviours

It's not uncommon for individuals to adopt certain behaviours or personas to fit in or conform to societal expectations. This phenomenon, known as "masking," involves hiding one's true thoughts, feelings, or identity behind a facade in order to gain acceptance or avoid judgment. While masking can provide temporary relief from social pressures, it often comes at a cost to one's mental health and authenticity.

Masking has become a more frequent topic in my coaching sessions with social workers. Particularly neurodivergent practitioners. For some, masking involves suppressing emotions or opinions to avoid conflict, rejection or being seen as 'less than' by others. In many cases, masking is driven by a desire for acceptance, belonging, or validation from others. This is also known as 'seeking safety.'

The Impact of Masking

While masking may offer temporary relief from social discomfort, the long-term consequences can be detrimental to one's mental health and well-being. Constantly wearing a mask can lead to feelings of disconnection, loneliness, and anxiety as individuals struggle to maintain their facade while suppressing their true selves. Over time, this can erode self-esteem, authenticity, and the ability to form genuine connections with others.

The initial step involves acknowledging that these behaviours might influence your professional demeanour and interactions in the workplace. This recognition is crucial as it lays the foundation for understanding how your authentic self may be masked or compromised in various work-related contexts. By being aware of this dynamic, you can begin to explore how these behaviours manifest and their potential impact on your performance, relationships, and overall well-being in the professional sphere. Some common signs of masking include:

• Consistently putting others' needs or opinions above your own
• Feeling like you're wearing a "mask" or pretending to be someone you're not in social situations
• Suppressing emotions or hiding vulnerabilities to avoid appearing weak or inadequate
• Feeling disconnected from your true identity or values
• Experiencing anxiety or stress when you're unable to maintain your facade

Overcoming Masking

Overcoming masking behaviours requires self-awareness, self-compassion and a willingness to embrace vulnerability. Here are some strategies to help you unmask and live more authentically:

1. Practice Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and values. Identify areas where you may be masking your true self and explore the underlying reasons for this behaviour.
2. Cultivate Self-Acceptance: Embrace your authentic self, flaws and all. Recognise that you are worthy of love and acceptance just as you are, without the need to conform to others' expectations.
3. Set Boundaries: Learn to communicate your needs and boundaries in relationships and social situations. Don't be afraid to speak up for yourself and express your true thoughts and feelings, even if it means risking rejection or disapproval.
4. Seek Support: Surround yourself with a supportive network who accept you for who you are and encourage your authenticity.
5. Practice Mindfulness: Stay present in the moment and cultivate awareness of your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations. Mindfulness can help you stay grounded in your true self and reduce the urge to mask or suppress your feelings.

Masking behaviours may offer temporary relief from social discomfort, but they ultimately prevent you from living authentically and forming genuine connections with others. By recognising, acknowledging and overcoming masking behaviors, individuals can cultivate a greater sense of self-acceptance, authenticity, and emotional well-being.

Remember, you are enough just as you are – no mask required.

If this resonated with you today and you feel ready to start making changes, book your coaching consultation with me here

I am still coming down from the Empowering Social Workers Conference. I haven't had a chance to collect all photos and messages yet and they're still coming through! What a lovely day :-) Here's a picture of me and Susuana G. at the inaugural event two weeks ago.

Guess what?

Empowering Social Workers Conference 2025 will be happening!

??????Early Bird Tickets are already available here

The Black Social Workers & Safeguarding Professionals Conference, 2024

The inaugural Black Social Workers and Safeguarding Professionals Show is set to make history as the first-ever conference of its kind in the United Kingdom. This groundbreaking event aims to create a dedicated space for black safeguarding professionals to network, share insights, and advance their careers. Scheduled to take place in Birmingham.

To make this happen.....Let me know you are interested....

Register your interest, here

If you would like a stall, to sponsor this event or speak at this event, please email: [email protected]

SWCH Business Academy

If you're looking to start your own business or side hustle....join my free live online event on Monday 29th April 2024. Register for free here

Opportunities

• I am looking for Empowering Social Workers Conference 2025 speakers and stall holders, email [email protected] to show your interest.
• I am looking for Black Social Workers & Safeguarding Conference, sponsors, speakers and stall holders, email [email protected]
• ??????Dear Social Worker, check out the books, planners and journals that can support your practice here
• Already enjoyed by BASW UK and Frontline Book your Trauma-Informed Wellbeing Workshop for your organisation? Email for more information pack. [email protected]
• Want to be a Dear Social Worker podcast guest, apply here
• ??SWCH Awards 2025 ?? will be launching to celebrate social work coaches and social work online content creators. Corporates & sponsors, email all queries to [email protected]
• Want me to feature on YOUR platform. Email me [email protected]

A gentle reminder...

• Take your breaks
• Book that annual leave like it's the hottest concert ticket (as it's still the beginning of the year, do it advance!!!)
• Remember: self-care isn't selfish; it's survival!

Until the next SWCHaroo....

Have a Blessed Week!

Le'Siran (pronounced Lisa - Ann)

www.socialworkcoaching.com