If I Can, Doesn't Mean You Too - A Conversation with the Millennial

Part 2 of "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" Real-atable Life: Begin with the End in Mind

"Why millennial seem to be always to be blamed, that we are wrong in almost everything."

It was supposed to be an after office meeting lunch only. I didn't realize I blurted out something so blunt, where there were also my colleague and my boss slash my mentor presented.

I thought I was about to be blamed. But the response was a a bit new, even to me. Adjusting his glasses in style, my mentor, Erwin Panigoro, flashed a rather cool smile, closing with a witty remark (as always), "I think it's the downfall, Lidya. One of it is because the elders generation kept on telling the same propaganda, 'If I can, so can you."

I stared back, dumbfounded, a little frown formed upon my lips, "Well, isn't that so?"

As if expecting my remark, my mentor finished his with, "The world is constantly changing, as is everything. Don't you think that notion is a lame and lazy excuse to hide about the reluctance from "that" generations in adapting, improving their working and personal methods and approaches to your (younger) generations?"

I stayed silent right away. I planned right away to type all of these down.

First of all, this writing has no intention to throw the ball around about who's "right" and "wrong" in these whole "millennial lifestyle" fiasco. Albeit personally, I'm among those who always believe there's always something you can learn, in any situation.

Today, I work in a field that is totally distinguished from my field of study. When you are just in the business where you are assumed to know nothing about, it seems like a common sense to belittle you. There are always only two choices: leave and stick to things you have known for life, or pretending and boasting (lying) that you know.

Ever since I've been told so, I believe there are more choices than that. History mentioned gazillions of people, stories: science students turned lawyers, education students turned entrepreneurs, college dropouts turned billionaires, law school students turned actors, servants turned ministers, the list can go on forever. So, doesn't that mean that there are more ways to pursue new path and succeeding it, even if it has nothing to do with what you've been always doing? Still, I have no exact back up reasons to that belief.

I grew up mostly in Indonesia, where most social construct can be that conservative. At this point of life, I still have no absolute grasp about the rest of the world's social system. Still, I have to say, nowadays it can be quite constraining to be placed under those generations that is very much different than millennial, especially if the agreement to adapt to technology advancement didn't meet. It's like instead of making progress, our new-assumed-to-be-untested-and-unorthodox working method is assumed to be screwing around.

I'm not going to hide the fact that millennial who didn't live up their best life exist. In most cases, these are the people who hold many goals of the greater goods back. It can be any goals agencies, corporate, anything. I used to believe millennial are all like that (means myself included).

In the highly structured environment, it's very easy to blame the lowest 'social class' to be the downfall cause of many organizations. Repeated messages couldn't be prevented to get into your system, don't they? In the end, you believe them, then you outlive them. Instead of inspiring, it gave this sort of resentment to people, that they were not good enough, that they are only bunch of failures. Then, it led to situations where people don't care anymore with the quality of works. They would just focus to finish as quick as possible, not as qualified as possible. Why bother? In the end, we're just making tons of mistakes, right? Now it's just a matter of doing the formulated requests, and waited for the paychecks to arrive, so I can pay the due bills.

Isn't the condition heartbreaking? There existed another generations who think nothing but living the same formulated life? The question is: do we, millennial, really that talent-less?

In the book, Stephen Covey mentioned the importance of "Beginning with the End of Mind". Beginning with the end of mind means to really understand where you are going. Covey said it best, "You can seems to climb the ladder the fastest. But if it leans to the wrong direction, you still head nowhere, and fast."

In that same lunch I had with Mr. Panigoro, he also gracefully gave examples. "Think about it, Lidya. If millennial has really no good, do you really think Gojek will become what they are today?"

Perhaps, I can write all of these from personal experience. There were times in my life where I lean into people's words, even the most absurd ones. Best examples include listening to these "elder people" who kept on telling that we, millennial, have no good at all. But as I work with them, I long for their acceptance, validation, pats on the backs. In one way or another, I can put it simply by saying, I let those words to be the center of my universe, instead of my own principle. What is "principle" anyway?

In the same chapter, Covey mentioned about how alternative centers existed. Covey grouped these centers into: money, work, possession, pleasure, friend, enemy, church, and self. In another words, at those cases, I once shifted my center to external causes. Not only shifting to it, I leaned to it.

Countless personal growth book, motivational videos, self-testimony from successful being mentioned the secret of fruitful and Ikigai centered life: It all started with an intense focus toward one's own goal. I can't speak in representative of all millennial on earth. One think I know for sure, it's essential to understand that being critical and value-seeking being is indeed the most important in life. However one can not do that if we lean into wrong goal, wrong center. There's no point in tirelessly driving with full speed ahead if you're going to the wrong direction. And it's far more valuable to take baby steps, but heading to the right place. So, what is your center?

The next thing to understand is that finding life's goal is never a quick fix. A lot of people (especially millennial) think that gaining it is like finding the nearest coffee shop in 2019 settings. It's not. Defining a goal takes a lot of re-write, pro-activity, constant learning, constant failing, and most importantly, it may takes a long time and patience. If you have already found it, good for you. The rest others are often still struggle to define theirs. If you still struggle, congratulations, and understand that it really is okay. Keep going for your own story. The most important part is to understand: you have to lean only to your principle. To understand more about principle centered life, I suggest you to read "7 Habits of Highly Effective People"

At the same lunch, Mr. Panigoro added valuable points all of the society can adapt. "Older generations today always think that there's only one correct method to achieve the same result. If any organizations / companies let those people in charge, to top it, with the close-minded brought along, they should wish they have all the luck for them, because obviously, that approach is way too outdated, and bringing them downhill. I really wish that all organization see that the best way to work it is simple: we define the result we desired and set the parameters. We nurture and guide the younger ones not to go beyond the parameters. And last, we let the younger do within the methods they favored the most. Remember, the world is constantly changing. So should we, as the older generations. After all, we can't desire different output (the one fit with our current situation, as opposed to the outdated ones), if we use the same method we always have used."

I'm in no place to give lecturer to the older generations. As a millennial myself, I understand there are billions of things I have yet to learn. One notable thing I can adapt is obviously the working ethic and attitude older generation had, despite of the technology advancement constraints back in the day. But as a young millennial who fit the characteristic of value seeking self, I just want to assure those who are older than me, the one I might be working to in the future (or the one I'd be working with), that there are more than one way to achieve the same result. If you ask how much is 10*10, the result is definite, 100. But if you twist your perspective about the desired goal, to gain 100, you can see there's gazillions way to obtain it: 70+30, 50*2, 1000/10, and so on. Take this model as an example of our condition today, in the era of rapid changes.

Obviously, it takes courage, resilience, and most importantly 5P (Purpose, Passion, Persistence, Perseverance, and Patience) in adapting the writings above. However, I strongly believe that achieving the desired result we all want in the new era is to do collaborative work. To work like that, we have to begin with the end of mind: as the young ones, by setting the correct center and goal in life, and as the older ones by understanding and adapting the fact that there are billions of way to achieve the same desired results and goals.

May we all excel in our life, however we define it to be!

Salam,

Lidya Sihombing

Jakarta,

July 30th, 2019