"I Can Do This": Six Ways to Handle Job-Related Adversity and Get Your Career Back on Track

One morning in late December 2017, I woke up without any idea of what to do next.

For the first time in nine years - two of which were spent in business school - I was jobless, with no sense of what my future held. All I could see were dark storm clouds gathering on the horizon that threatened to bring even more upheaval to my already tumultuous life.

On New Years’ Eve, I opened up my resume on my computer and groaned. It was a year out of date.

I couldn't help but wonder: How am I going to get through this?

It took months before I was able to answer that question, but the breakthrough finally came when I realized that I had been in this situation before. For the last 11 years, with an adult-onset muscle disease wreaking havoc on my body, I had been confronted with situations that often seemed insurmountable at the time. Although the circumstances were different this time around, the emotions were the same. Crushing self-doubt. Anger for putting myself in a harrowing situation. Fear that the sky is falling.

But all I had to do was look to the past to know that each time I got through it, somehow. If I just relied on the skills and learnings that got me through previous challenges, I could find a way through this uncertain time and find employment again. After eight months of freelancing and contract work, I finally landed another full-time job, one that I am grateful for every day. Although it worked out in the end, it didn't happen overnight.

I am reminded of my months of unemployment often. In just the past few weeks, I have had several conversations with friends who are struggling with their own job-related uncertainty. Although they may not be experiencing the level of doom and gloom quite like I felt in those early days, they are nonetheless at a crossroads in their careers. Two have lost jobs. A few others are in fear of losing their job. And several more are looking for a change, unhappy in their current setting.

Job stress is particularly brutal. It affects our financial security and our ability to provide for ourselves and our loved ones. It also affects other important parts of our lives, including our identity. My heart aches for my friends and for those who are facing job-related hardship. I remember the feeling all too well.

After talking to my friends, I thought back to my own job hunt and what I learned during the process. Was there any advice I could offer them from my own experience? I realized there was. Many lessons I learned through trial and error. Although there are many posts that deal with how to land a new job or find your dream job (what to include in your resume and cover letter, what questions to ask, what research to conduct, etc.), my focus here is on the mental aspect of job hunting. Half the battle is staying positive through the the inevitable second-guessing and setbacks you will experience.

Job-related adversity is not fun to go through, but it can be overcome. The following are six tips that helped me through my unemployment. They are simple, if not always self-evident. They may not all apply to your situation, but chances are more than a few will be relevant:

1. Know your worth. The tendency exists, when you experience a setback such as a lost job, to think that you are a failure. Or, if you are stagnating at your job, that everyone else is happy and content in theirs. After all, people only post the best parts of their lives on social media, and this includes how great it is to work at their company. When you are in a rut and you start to compare yourself to others, feelings of inadequacy creep into your mind.

The truth is, a job - or a lack thereof - does not equate your worth. Our true worth is not tied to our occupation – it is tied to who we are as a person. Besides, just about everyone has had job-related drama at some point in their lives! What you are going through is no different from anyone else. Unlike puppies in the office, no one goes out of the way to broadcast that to the world.

2. Stay active. This is more applicable to those who have lost their job or who are unemployed, but it can still apply to anyone: if you have downtime, make the most of it.

If you are not yet in the frame of mind to search for a new job, read the books you’ve been putting off forever. Visit a museum. Treat yourself to a movie. When the time comes and you are ready to start your job hunt, but are not quite ready to read job postings and brush up on your resume, keep up to date on news related to your industry of choice. Or maybe learn a new skill that will be relevant to the type of job you want. There are many websites that offer free courses. It may be the one skill that sets you apart from your competition.

Unemployment is also a time to pursue opportunities that come up that you might otherwise have ignored. I have my job today because I was invited to a conference last year and just happened to be available to go, which would not have been possible if I was working. It set in motion the events that led to getting the job I am in today. 

3. Embrace the blank slate. Whether you are employed or not, take an hour and reflect on what you really want to do with your career. Not what you think you should do, or what others tell you to do. Give yourself permission to stretch your mind. What makes your heart flutter? What do you daydream about when you are feeling miserable at the office? For me, I knew that I had to find a job related to either muscular dystrophy advocacy or research. Otherwise, I'd go nuts.

With a blank slate, you can finally listen to what your heart has been telling you all along.

4. Find role models. If you wonder if there is anyone out there who can relate to what you’ve gone through, chances are the answer is yes. The internet, although it can be maddening sometimes, is beneficial in that it is easier than ever to find role models on social media or through a Google search. More people than ever are sharing their stories with the world to inspire others going through a similar situation. During my job hunt, when I questioned whether I was cut out to work full-time again, I found example after example of others with disabilities who worked full-time and lived independently. Their examples sustained me on my dark days and gave me confidence to believe I could do the same.

5. Leverage and build your network. It’s not easy to let people know you lost your job, or that you are unhappy in your current role. It involves vulnerability and revealing details of your life that you may not be comfortable sharing. The last question you may want to answer is “What happened?” from a well-intentioned friend. But people, when asked, are almost always willing to help you.

If you know a specific type of role you are interested in, or want to work for a certain company, start by asking those close to you to see if they have a connection. Utilize your LinkedIn network and don't be afraid to reach out to someone you haven't talked to in a while. If you explain up front that you are looking for another job and need help, they should be receptive to helping you.

During this time you will also want to build your network. If you find someone working in a role or a department at a company you want to work for, but don't have a pre-existing connection, don't hesitate to reach out to the person, either through LinkedIn or email, to request an informational interview. The worst that happens is that they ignore you. I know not everyone agrees with this step, but as long as you are genuine and explain your situation and that you just want to learn more about the company, you will get a response maybe 50% of the time. My own success rate was around 50%. I met many wonderful, generous people this way who helped me on my job search. I still keep in touch with a few of them.

6. Brush off rejection. The most difficult, but most essential step.

Truth: It is almost a guarantee that you are going to be rejected at some point on your job hunt. It will happen. And you will probably be rejected for a role that you really wanted.

But, that’s life. Sometimes there’s no explanation. It stinks. It’s not fun. It will cause you to feel self-doubt after you spent weeks and months rebuilding your confidence. Yet, at this precise time, you have to remember, once again, that everyone has been through this. You are in good company. You might get rejected 100 times, but it's the 101st company who offers you a job that ultimately matters in the end.

When a company wants you, it makes all the previous rejections worth it.

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I can't guarantee how long your job-related adversity will last. It may last weeks, months, or even years. You may land your perfect job next time around, or you may not. But each moment of life, as long as you are breathing, is an opportunity to improve your circumstances.

Life doesn’t go according to plan. I can attest to that. But even though you may experience one job-related setback after another, with the right mindset and tools, you will bounce back.

And because you bounced back, you might just someday inspire someone else who comes across your story to say, "I can do this."

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Christopher Anselmo is a market intelligence manager at the Muscular Dystrophy Association and a patient living with Limb-girdle muscular dystrophy type 2B. Follow his journey at www.sidewalksandstairwells.com.