I Broke Up with My Imposter.

Thought of the Week | Julie Lawson, CEO

Dear Imposter,

It’s you, not me.

Breaking up is never easy, but it’s what I must do for me. As a creature of comfort, I admit being without you will be strange. After all, you’ve been there to remind me of my shortcomings and fears longer than I can remember (in fact, I don’t know that I’ve ever lived without your voice in my head). You’ve helped me doubt my abilities, question my authority, second-guess my intuition, and play down my accomplishments. While I don’t hope we remain friends, I want to acknowledge the power you’ve had in my life: you are exceptionally good at what you do.

So good, in fact, that I’ve often confused you for humility (then I remember you have a history of stealing identities). Your voice sounds so similar to my own that it has taken me decades to become adept at distinguishing them. Now that I can, I recognize your lies, manipulations, and time-stealing habits. I realize I will be much happier without you.

And I deserve to be happy. I deserve to live in an honest and loving self-view. Despite your best efforts to convince me otherwise, I’ve learned I’m talented, capable, and enough. My mistakes are growth opportunities, my anxieties both normal and surmountable. My accomplishments are deserved: the result of hard work, experience, and talent. Nothing – not your nor your best friends Shame, Worthlessness, and Insignificance – can keep me from living confidently without my permission. As of today, I am revoking that permission.

While you serve to meet some culturally-driven expectation to think less of myself, I no longer need you in my life. I’m good. But thank you – through your lies, you’ve helped me recognize my truest self. I wish you well going forward, but I no longer want to have any contact. Please lose my number, email, and address. I simply won’t have time for you: I’ll be too busy living my best life.

Best wishes,

Julie

As many as 82% of women experience Imposter Syndrome (while it affects men, the numbers have not been well studied). While it often gets better with age and experience, it plagues many women throughout their professional and personal lives. It's time to face our imposters...and break up for good!

Articles of the Week | Understanding and overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Worried that you or someone you know is suffering Imposter Syndrome? Here are some great articles on the subject:

1. "Prevalence, Predictors, and Treatment of Imposter Syndrome" (an academic and very interesting read)
2. "How to Overcome Impostor Syndrome" - The New York Times

Book of the Week | Get Out of Your Own Way

Want a deeper dive into Imposter Syndrome? We like Get Out of Your Own Way by Mark Goulston, MD and Philip Goldberg. In this book the authors take you through specific, actionable steps to overcome self-defeating behaviors like guilt, codependency, inaction, self-pity and more.

Contact us at reinsinstitute.com for more recommmendations.

HAVE A GREAT WEEK!