I Belong Here Too: Taking Up Spaces I Thought Were Not for Me

I Belong Here Too: Taking Up Spaces I Thought Were Not for Me

The timing of this piece couldn’t be more fitting. Just yesterday, after an opposing player tackled me during a soccer game, he said, “This is what you get for wanting to play with men.” I kid you not—this was in a coed league where women and men are supposed to play together.

That phrase perfectly sums up much of my journey so far.

Growing up in Brazil, I never fit the mold of what society expected a girl to be. I was a creative and adventurous child, always throwing myself into activities. Sure, I played with dolls and did what society labels as “girly” things, but most of my time was spent playing soccer in the streets with the older kids or exploring the city on quests for haunted houses. I was constantly called a "Maria-macho," a derogatory term for girls who don’t fit traditional feminine norms.

I didn’t conform, and I often wondered why I wasn’t welcome in certain spaces. Hearing those hurtful remarks was hard, but I’m glad I stayed true to myself. It’s not easy when the odds feel stacked against you, but refusing to compromise who you are is empowering.

The prejudice I faced as a child followed me into high school. People told me I shouldn’t hang out with boys so much. They didn’t understand that it wasn’t about the boys—it was about the activities they were allowed to do that I wanted to be part of.

When I entered college, things started to fall into place. I learned about society’s structures, and naming these forces was eye-opening. I began to understand my place in the world and realized I didn’t have to change myself to meet others’ expectations.

Fast forward to my late twenties, and I decided to make a career change. I was tired of the challenges I was facing as an educator and I felt the need for a complete rebrand? of myself. My understanding? of society’s limitations had always fueled my drive? to challenge myself? and break into unfamiliar spaces, so I decided to pursue a career in engineering - a field dominated by men.?

I won’t lie. The first few years were filled with insecurities. Part of it came from my past, and part of it came from outdated ideas that still persist in the industry. I often felt like I didn’t fit in and saw myself as the underdog.

Did I ever overcome it?

Yes, I did! Of course, there are still moments of insecurity, but I no longer doubt my strengths as a professional. My confidence skyrocketed when I began meeting women with similar backgrounds. At some point in their careers, they too had felt like they didn’t belong, but by the time we met, they were directors, managers, and senior leaders. These incredible women encouraged me to believe in myself and helped me realize a profound truth: We belong here too. We are exactly where we’re meant to be. I’m so grateful for their mentorship and have deep admiration for their work ethic.

How has Cyber Dive helped me feel like I belong?

At Cyber Dive, my perspective and expertise matter. My work is celebrated, and my contributions are valued. I’m trusted to build UI components, scale backend services, design development plans, review code, write tests, evaluate processes, create documentation, and more. There’s so much I do as a Full Stack Engineer, but what makes me feel strongest is my leaders' unwavering belief in my abilities.

Cyber Dive fosters an incredible, supportive workplace where it’s truly believed that everyone has a place, regardless of gender. You get to “play” wherever you would like. We break the norms and have numerous women in leadership roles (in fact, the majority).

The trust and encouragement I’ve received here have strengthened my technical skills and empowered me to embrace my space in this industry—a space I once thought was not meant for me. I now know that I belong, and I have the confidence to continue taking up the space I deserve.

Mimi Tibbs

Interior Designer

2 周

Kudos to you for overcoming societies limitations. You have to find your place in the world not according to other peoples expectations. It appears you have! Stay with your convictions!??

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