And I became a butterfly! by Viraj Ghate

At the end of 2021, after a 15-year-long stint overseas, I decided to leave my job and shift back to my home country. I had been planning on it for 3 years before the pandemic hit and the world churned upside down. Despite having a lot of time to think through the move and spending several hours meticulously planning every detail, I soon experienced how a well-planned project that looks great on paper can completely go haywire.

From the time I landed in my home country to have some sense of settlement, I was caught up in a whirlwind of chaos. Finding the right apartment, signing the lease papers and several other documents, creating a supporting structure around, moving in, unpacking 100s of boxes, making several trips in the peak of traffic to get things fixed, arranging and rearranging... I soon started losing my patience, confidence, and control and felt defeated. My meticulous plan began coming apart piece by piece until it failed spectacularly. This was just too much for me to handle. To say that I experienced being overwhelmed would be an understatement.

The chaos outside finally made its way inside as I started questioning my move. I started regretting the decision to resign from my cushy job and come away from my comfort zone. My stability had been replaced by uncertainty, my calm had turned into anger, and my usual fortitude had given way to frustration and helplessness. I blamed myself and cursed the lack of order and discipline around to spiral further down.

One afternoon, surrounded by several half-opened boxes, at the peak of my fatigue, frustration, and failure of not being in control, I came across my notes on our class discussions on various concepts in the “Game of Life” book we were to present. The STOP principle, the conflict between “Self 1” and “Self 2”, followed by several precious “Aha! Moments” of self-reflection came alive in my mind. All this learning started to make a lot of sense to my current situation, and a small bubble of quiet and silence that began in my heart slowly expanded into a large balloon of calm. I became still and quiet, the cacophony of thoughts and emotions, blame, mistakes, and errors of judgment all slowly came to a halt.

My usual self would not have rested until everything was fixed to perfection, but this felt like a welcome change. I dropped whatever I was doing, and relaxed my arms and my mind. Then as if by magic, everything felt light and I felt as if I became a butterfly!

If I were to describe what the is Coaching process, I would say it is like Chrysalis. The process of uncovering and seeing our authentic beautiful selves. Self-journey of a gentle inquiry, reflections, questions, doubts, struggle, learning, unlearning, and finally seeing ourselves in truth! In the process, more aware, more conscious, and more sensitive – a metamorphosis with the ability to make us better human beings!

?

Name of the author:?Viraj Ghate