I was a Bad Leader

“Do what I say, not what I do.”

That’s what I thought true leadership looked like when I first became a manager. It was how I had been managed as an employee up to that point. When I became a manager myself, I wasn’t provided any specific training on leadership so I simply did what I had always experienced.?

I had no clue that this was a bad (read: ineffective)?leadership style.

Until two separate incidents caused me to reevaluate how I was leading my people, and thankfully, started me on the journey to becoming a truly effective leader. ?

Cue the Eye Roll

This was not one of my proudest moments as a leader, but it was an incredible learning opportunity. I once had an employee who I found difficult. During a meeting, this employee asked a question, and I rolled my eyes ?? - in front of everyone present. After that meeting, my supervisor pulled me aside and told me, “That’s not how we treat people. Even if it was a stupid question, we do not treat people like that. We do not embarrass our people - especially not in group settings.” My supervisor was right. Even if I thought that question was unnecessary, I should have still treated my employee like I valued her. At this point, I realized that I needed to rethink how I was treating my people and so my journey began. ?

The Complaint

Later down the road, one of my direct reports filed a complaint against me. She said that she didn’t feel heard. At first, I was embarrassed and mad. My reaction was, “Are you kidding me right now?” ??Then, I realized, she’s right. I was not listening to her. I was not valuing her at all.? Again, I used this as an opportunity to reflect and change course.? ?

??What is my role in this situation??

??What can I do differently to improve our employee-leader relationship that will also improve overall team productivity?

Fortunately, this story had a positive ending. I was able to change as a leader and form a better employee-leader relationship with that employee which turned into a friendship when we no longer worked together.?

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The Moral of the Story

These scenarios are not uncommon for leaders. Either you can relate to one of my stories directly or a manager has treated you similarly. It’s easy to be reactive. It’s easy to pull the “I’m paying you to be here so you have to do what I say” card. It’s easy to ignore what you need to hear and be blind to your own part in issues that arise. But, this isn’t an effective approach.? ?? As a leader, your goal should be: Lead at the most effective level.? In order to be the most effective, you need to change your perspective of the people you lead. They all have value. Even the ones you feel like you “have to hold onto them” or they wouldn’t be working for you still.? There’s lots of excuses to treat employees less than the value they bring, but that’s not how you create the most productive, high performing teams. You have to value each and every one of your employees for what they’re bringing to the table right now.?

To be effective as a leader, you need to find value in the people you lead.

Need help valuing your people? I’m here to help. Send me a message!