I Asked My Teacher Out. And Developed Cultural Awareness in the Process

If you've been following me for a while, you're probably aware of the Arabic classes I've been taking from the beginning of this year.

I was reflecting on the progress I've made so far. I'm at level A2.1 already, and can have a basic conversation about who I am, where I'm from, and what I do.

My child-like heart skipped a beat when reflecting on this. From listening to music as a child and teen, to being able to read a language in a different script is an achievement any language learner will appreciate. ????? (findjan or cup) is my favourite Arabic word until date.

I love teacups a lot, and was sharing that in class when we learnt this word. Okay, I don't just love, I collect them. You guessed it!

Cultural Awareness Through Language Learning

The advancement in levels also meant having to switch 3 different teachers until now. Each has something special in their way of teaching. Each is from a different country.

I liked that part a lot, because I got to learn about the cultural nuances of each place, understand how dialects of the Arabic language vary, and listen to different accents. Side note: how boring would the world be without accents, anyway?

I'm also childlike when it comes to teachers: I get attached to their way of teaching, asking questions, and making small talk. Maybe it's the upbringing I had, where teachers were seen as a source of inspiration and knowledge.

I didn't have a clue how learning a new language could develop my cultural awareness, however, and I was pleasantly surprised at how things unfolded last month.

Small Talk and Reviewing My Cultural Values

My teacher from the previous level, let's call her Faiza, takes the same train as I do after class each week. The first time we took it, we exchanged a few words on where we're from, what we do, and how long we've been living in Barcelona.

"I like to teach because I get to meet a diverse set of people, like you" she said with a glimmer in her eyes. "I like Barcelona for that very reason. You never know whom you'll bump into and strike a friendship with" I replied with a big grin.

The conversations became longer and more intriguing every week. I came home to my husband one night, saying "Gosh, I enjoy talking to her a lot but we get cut off each time, because I have to get off sooner. Would it be weird if I asked her out to have a cup of coffee or tea sometime?"

"What's weird about that, honey? You're not 5 anymore". We both laughed at that last line.

He was right. I wasn't 5 anymore. Hence, the teacher-student ethical boundary taught in Indian culture was not applicable in this case. I realised we're both approximately the same age, have a lot in common, and this friendship would not put her in an uncomfortable spot e.g., the feeling of having to influence my grades or progress. "Phew, okay, I'll ask her next week" I said.

Her eyes lit up when I did, followed by a "I'm glad you asked, as all my friends have moved out. I'd love to grab cup of a tea with you next week".

From A Cup of Tea to Increased Cultural Awareness

Faiza and I have met up at various coffeeshops ever since. We've taken walks in the park, learnt about each other's third-culture kid experiences, and shared our love of tea. I think I've officially converted her into a bubble-tea addict - a blame I'm willing to take, haha.

But each conversation taught me something new about her Arab-European heritage and culture, and I felt privileged for that chance. I had no idea she was someone who'd left her country when war had broken out.

I had no idea she had grown up in two countries, and didn't feel like she belonged to either of them. I could relate to the latter deeply, as an immigrant myself. I had always wondered where my home was, and how lucky some people were to have one single place to call home. With their language to shop, study, and converse in.

We also shared our views on religion, and how we didn't feel like we belonged to any particular one. "This is the first time I'm meeting someone who feels the same way. I've been asked to describe my religious choices from very early on, and I just struggle with it. Why do we have to choose one path in life?" she asked.

"I hear you. I long for a spiritual connection more than anything religious, and cannot define my preference either" I shared. We smiled, letting silence take over for a while.

Belonging Through Cultural Awareness

"If you don't mind me asking - and please don't feel obliged to answer - does it hurt to be unable to go back there? Do you still have family in the place you spent the first 18 years of your life?" I ask on our next date.

"Yes, it's sad to see the country in its current state. To hear how family members have limited access to electricity, and pay hefty prices for basic goods. I couldn't go back to live there anymore. But I hold no grudges, as political motives have taken the forefront there. We can't hate others due to that", she replies.

"I can only imagine. I've never been to the place we're originally from after war divided the country. Language and culture are my way of finding belonging, which is why I started learning Arabic, actually. It has helped me read Sindhi, my native tongue."

As we walk to the bus that day, I share more about my heritage and promise to bring a book to show her the Sindhi script next time.

The week after, Faiza's reaction to my Sindhi book is surprising. She has a huge grin when I show her the first page, and immediately sets aside her tea. "Oh wow, this is amazing! I've never seen a language based on Arabic letters before. How do you pronounce this letter? And this one? And this?" she asks. (Note: we have 52 letters in Sindhi, based on the 28 letters in Arabic).

We geek out on the language together, laughing at the funny pronunciation of some of the letters. I share anecdotes of how it was to learn my language without being able to read or write it. Between laughter and more stories, I share how my parents made sure we spoke it at home, and gave us a linguistic and cultural immersion in their own way.

My heart melts when she thanks me for sharing my story, my language, and my culture with her that day. I thank her for the same too, and for letting me ask questions.

A text message we exchanged later confirmed something I'd felt all along; we both had walked away with a feeling of deep understanding. Of finally being seen. Of belonging in someone's world. Even though our lives, languages, and cultures weren't exactly the same.

I know how hard belonging can be, as I've felt othered until I migrated to England at the age of 28. Although it impacted my self-esteem back then, it wasn't something you'd speak about at home - at least, I didn't ever think of sharing it. I gather because we were foreigners and it seemed like part of the deal. But acceptance, inclusion, and belonging don't have to be so difficult.

To find someone who understands migration and its effects on culture and language is rare, and to safely express ourselves to them is a gift. A gift we can receive and give to others, too. And when it comes to culture, language, and identity, the overlap is where the magic happens. If we allow ourselves to see and create it, that is :)

Was it the love for a ????? of tea that brought us together, in this case? Or was it because we laced our tea with respect and genuine curiosity? I'll let you decide.

I love how my teacher (and now, friend) has taught me things far beyond a classroom. It reinforced my understanding of why a teacher is held in such high regard in Indian culture. Lest I forget, you see :)

4 Takeaways on Cultural Awareness From This Story

• Be vulnerable: When you share your own story, you subconsciously give others permission to share theirs too. This creates a connection and fosters understanding.
• Ask questions with humility and curiosity: Remember not to ask offensive questions filled with stereotypes or bias. Instead, try asking the person about their experiences and their feelings on a topic. You'll be surprised by what you'll learn.
• Validate: Culture is a shared yet personal experience. Just because you didn't face something like racism (as someone from the same culture or when living in the same country) doesn't mean the other person didn't. Validating by acknowledging their experiences helps people feel safe too. A simple "that must've been so hard for you" is enough for someone to feel heard and understood.
• Remember to thank: It takes courage to share feelings and stories with someone, especially if we don't know them. The least we can do is thank the person for sharing.

#culture #awareness #DEI #storytelling #languages #magazines

Hi! I'm Raksha, a freelance journalist. If you liked reading this piece, feel free to share it. I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments. I also publish a newsletter on slowing down, reflecting, and appreciating the beauty of life each week. Sign up here!