I am not your Cis

When I apply for new roles, there are a few things I will not move on, one of those things is how I am identified. I am a Woman and I do not want to be called a Cis-Woman, here's why I may not apply

For me, in that moment, I feel I am being told I have to now become a Cis-Woman. This does not make me ignorant, it makes me frustrated at being called something I am not, something I do not identify with and something I don't want to be called, but now I am being told I have no choice. Something the very argument is actually about. So it feels somewhat hypocritical.

I love diversity and I do fit in one of the diversity categories, but, diversity is wonderful and at its best, when we respect each others' lives, include everyone and hold space for each others' differences. The reason it puts me off is this. My whole life, from being born a girl, behaving like a girl, being engineered to be a girl; The focus was on homely things and activities rather than being asked if I was going into the army or not - there really is quite a polarized difference between the two genders.

I then grew up, I then started to have 'Womanly' experiences, from being groped, prayed upon, objectified, spoken over, along with the period pain, the 'constantly measuring my environment' to see if it was safe, the hormone changes in my body, one day my bra fit and the next it didn't, the bullying because I was a little bit prettier than the next person, the consequences of turning someone down and then hearing they had told everyone I was sleeping around just because I said no to them (From which I was not!), the justification, the objectification and the minimizing became very stressful - these are just a few examples of being a Woman. Men don't have it easy either - absolutely - we all have our own experiences.

It took time, but I came to a devestating yet healing realisation that I was now proud to be a Woman, I had made peace with all of its consequences and I was now proud to be one, like a badge of honour that I had earned just going through its bloody assault course. I now own it.

However, now, I cannot be a Woman I have to be a Cis-Woman. Those medals feel like they are being taken away.When I apply for a job that tells me I have to be a Cis-Woman, can you see how much that could possibly grate and actually how triggering that could be? There is a sense of abandonment here, an instruction that I must follow and it all just feels like another forceful and penetrative attack on who I am.

I don't mean to be rude and I absolutely love all of the options and the spaces being made. Just because companies want to help and be open to a diverse workplace, that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice anyone to get there. Please do not require me to tick a box saying 'Cis-Woman' as I will not apply, for I am not one. I am a Woman who has finally become confident in my own skin and I wear that title 'Woman' so proudly.