I Am Not Thankful
I wish I were.? I wish I were grateful, loving, kind…. happy even.
It’s just not my (ego’s) natural state.? I relate more to Eyore than Winnie the Pooh.
I wake up grumpy.? I get jealous.? I can be horribly judgemental.
“But Mark, you seem so nice in your videos, is it fake?”
Not in the least.? What I am describing above is my default human nature.? And, if we admit it, probably most people’s private dissatisfied thoughts are similar.??
This isn’t an indictment.? It is just the way the personal ego works: “I like this, I don’t like that, I want this to happen, I dread that happening”… on and on goes the inner dialog.
So what do we do about it?
I can tell you what works for me… and why I am actually so so so grateful this Thanksgiving (and every day).
First know... It’s just a tape.? It runs its lines. ?Michael Singer calls that voice the psycho roommate that should have a restraining order.??
Step One: I recognize it's a repetitive game.? Same shit, different shovel, every day.
Step Two: I get quiet and contemplate.? I read something good, I journal, and I sit with my thoughts and feelings until they crest and wane.? I connect with something greater than me.
Step Three: I exercise and eat well.? My state of being is extremely affected by my physical well-being. I bet yours is too.
Step Four: I decide who I want to be that day.? I make a conscious choice to wrestle my attention from the habitual complaints and focus on gratitude.? I look for where I can be loving.? I use steps 1 - 3 to build this version of Mark so I can make a conscious, deliberate ripple in the world.??
Not because the world needs me to be those things but because it is the world I want to live in.? I must BE what I want in the world to experience it.?
Remember, It’s a practice.? Some days will be great, others, not so much.? I’ve gotten pretty good at it over the decades… you can too.? I promise.
This Week’s Video/Tools:
A Couple of Gratitude Practices to Explore
Book of the week:
“A Complaint Free World - How to Stop Complaining and Enjoy the World You’ve Always Wanted” by Will Bowen
Whoo boy… this book was revolutionary when I first read it years ago.? Who knew my dissatisfaction with life was coming from………… me!?!?? I even started wearing the purple bracelet (you could send away) to remind me to stop complaining.??
Honest to G-d, this book will make you happier.
This Week on The Rising Leader Podcast
Episode 103 | Do You Want to be Right or Effective?
In this episode, I discuss how we often fall into the trap of spinning our wheels or getting ‘wrapped around the axle’ over things people say or events. I discuss how arguing with events, or realities often causes us to get distracted and leak energy and power. I discuss how our emotional intelligence determines how much power we leak in the office, in the boardroom, or in life and how our ego often plays a problematic role in these settings. I also discuss the power of taking deep breaths when things don’t go as you think they should and the beauty of saying ‘thank you’ when receiving unwanted or unexpected feedback.
Today on The Rising Leader:
●????? How arguing with reality and the things that happen cause us to leak energy and power, and get distracted
●????? How we often fall into the trap of spinning our wheels
●????? How having strong emotional intelligence prevents us from leaking power
●????? The power of calmly asking questions
●????? How our ego is often the root cause of most problems or arguments
●????? Asking yourself: Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy and effective
●????? Taking deep breaths when things don’t go the way we think they should
●????? Saying thank you when receiving negative feedback
That’s it.
Lots of love, and have a great rest of the week.
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- Mark